Jokes
A boy says to his girlfriend:
— I'm dating you seriously, not as a joke.
— Then go stuff yourself!
The teacher asked the children to write sentences using the word “probably.” The children wrote little stories like: “Winter is coming; probably it will snow.” Jaś, of course, came up with something different:
— My older sister takes piano lessons. The other day, when her teacher came over, she took off her panties and he unbuttoned his trousers. They’ll probably shit in the piano.
— What should I do, doctor? I’m losing the hair on the top of my head and getting calluses on my feet.
— You should buy yourself a longer bed.
Franek Mucha is walking home with a friend. As usual, they’re both drunk. Franek shows his guest around his apartment...
— Here’s the dining room, there’s the kitchen, and here’s the bathroom. This is our bedroom; that naked blonde in the bed is my wife, and that guy beside her... that’s me.
The height of intimacy: two sets of dentures in one glass.
A woman goes to the doctor and sticks out her black tongue.
— What happened? — the doctor asks.
— Half a litre spilled on the asphalt.
A rape trial. The judge asks:
— During the incident in question, did the plaintiff resist the attacker?
— Yes, Your Honor! Against a wardrobe.
— So the defendant assaulted the plaintiff?
— No, Your Honor. Dry!
Three men are standing there, taking a piss.
The first:
— The water’s so cold.
The second:
— The bottom’s so muddy.
The third:
— The crayfish are biting around the bend.
Collected by GOFER
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