Raccoon Tales
about sysadmin
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Once, a system administrator has built himself
house in which there were many doors, but
most of them were boarded up.
When guests ask him why he
did, he cleverly replied: "Duc, firewall!"
and enigmatically winking.
*
One day, he met a young sysadmin
with a charming sisadminshey. When they
making love, sysadmin often asked my girlfriend: "and you're
excited reading logs Squid? "on his girlfriend
ecstatically replied "cat ... pipe ...
less ... "and languidly rolled her red eyes.
*
One day, the same young sysadmin acquainted with the web
dizaynershey. By habit, he immediately asked what she had
ip-address, but heard that the ip-address it is dynamic,
immediately lost all interest in her.
- "I do not like a girl of easy virtue" - and then he
explained to his friends.
*
Once, an old and experienced sysadmin saw a little boy who
stood in the middle of the street and wept loudly. - What
happened, baby? - Asked a sysadmin. - I've lost-and-alsya -
said the child and cried even louder. Sysadmin tried
figure of a little boy, where he lives, but the boy called out,
which sysadmin never heard of.
- Perhaps there is no such street - suggested
he said. The boy began to cry even louder and administrator,
deploying it for a hundred and eighty degrees, gave him a
powerful kick in the ass, muttering: - No route to host ...
*
One day, the same old sysadmin watching grandchildren
playing ping-pong. His eyes fixedly watching a ball
time, after which he abruptly jumped to a game table, caught
the ball and crushed him in a fist with the words: "TTL expired
..."
*
Once, a young sysadmin spent the night in silent
contemplation of contents directory / dev, then in the morning
has spoken: "Still, I do not understand why I say that I have
everything running through the / Dev / ass and on top of the
curve / dev / hands: I any, that you do not see those files! "
*
Once, a young administrator, opening his
mailbox, found a summons to the MERs.
- Again, the damned spam - "he growled,
nervously tearing her to shreds.
*
Once, in a poorly heated room
sysadmin dropped his boss and, shivering with cold, he asked:
- You got so cold, but why
do not you turn off the cooler?
*
Once, a young sysadmin dreamed
daemons: they attacked him from all sides,
but he fought them to a stool on which for some reason it was
written "kill-9". Daemons fell and rose and fell and rose
again, fell and rose again. When a sysadmin woke up at dawn
cold sweat, he decided not to appear in That day at work and go
to church ... he would have done if I had known url.
*
One day, a bearded administrator, sitting
home on sick leave, was engaged in reading a half-meter docks.
Approached him his son, a first grader, and asked:
- Dad, how television is constructed?
- RTFM! - Dismissed the sysadmin.
Child sighed, and routinely asked:
- Man what?
*
One day, a sysadmin came from a trip home, he found his wife
in the not-quite-dressed "form. - Cat / var / log / secure |
less - hopefully he said. Wife silently gnawed fingernails, and
a sysadmin asked sternly: - W?
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