MINUTES OF THE MEETING
ELECTION medical director in
PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL # 15.
(C) A. Arcane
________________________________
CHAIRMAN:
Dear ladies and gentlemen, comrades, scholars, Napoleon,
Stakhanovites, Julius Caesar, inventors, Shostakovich, physics,
and schizo! Today we are an important event. We must choose a
chief doctor of our common native all of us, the beloved home.
Pleased to announce that at our meeting attended by
representatives of both Chambers - male and female, as well as
a large group of our druzeysanitarov as observers in an
advisory and casting vote. All of us here
together, united though
different, but a single thought, touched by common concerns.
Our lives every day just keeps getting better and better, so
back any longer.
A VOICE FROM THE AUDIENCE:
Allow me to interrupt you?
CHAIRMAN:
Please. (At the scene of the hall
Horny man runs up and
trying to stick to smash the whole
Bureau. Sanitation in the soldier's
clothing makes him a sedative
prick shtykom.Muzhchina calms).
CHAIRMAN:
Comrades! Who does not wonder
he can go. We do not
keep. Close the door on there
key, and no one issue. Democracy should be for everyone! ..
I will continue. We, comrades, many unresolved issues. This
Ecology toilets, and fighting
dystrophic and chronic shortages of straitjackets ...
Something, of course, is solved. Say, protein, salt and sugar
in the analysis will be issued only on Stamps (relief,
applause, incontinence). Us a lot over and a new head physician
to be in improving the quality hallucinations. We have to admit
that so far in our hallucinations, we see only
dark dark past. Bright
Future retirees can only see personal, and that in alcoholic
delirium. Needless to say that we have chosen the chief doctor
should be in our midst.
A VOICE FROM THE AUDIENCE:
I protest!
CHAIRMAN:
The word friend requests with a tag # 18.
VOTE:
Do not let's at!
CHAIRMAN:
I understand you, comrades! Word
has tag # 18.
# 18:
From the Chairman's proposals
nominate senior doctor from our
environment smacks of stagnation. Why
it is in our midst? And Monday? And Tuesday? And on Thursday?
Are they not our own?
CHAIRMAN:
Please introduce yourself.
# 18:
Friday. MP from one hundred and eight uninhabited islands.
Robinson Crusoe nominated unanimously. Propose an alternative
approach to the post of chief physician his candidacy, but
please give I recused himself because on Saturdays I do not
work on religious reasons.
CHAIRMAN:
You have everything?
Friday:
Everything.
CHAIRMAN:
Then go to the place.
Friday:
But I have not said everything.
CHAIRMAN:
Blyam-blyam-blyam! I take away your
word! Speak!
Friday:
Now everything. (He goes into place, leaving wet footprints).
CHAIRMAN:
While preparing the platform for the next speaker, please
vote a proposal from deputy Friday.
Who is in favor, raise your leg!
VOTE:
And who has two legs?
CHAIRMAN:
Who has two - stretch the legs.
WOMAN FROM THE AUDIENCE:
You must choose one!
CHAIRMAN:
Valid point.
WOMAN FROM THE AUDIENCE:
I suggest to our accountant.
CHAIRMAN:
Comrades! Of course, on the basis of
logic normal person on the
post count must choose
accountant. But we must take into account the specifics of our
institution. Am I right? Therefore, we
counter should be primarily
honest and fair man.
Here I am consulted among themselves and reshil.Na office
counter offer our cook mutton. Pork Petrovna, getting up from
his seat.
VOTE:
It has three seats!
CHAIRMAN:
Raise it, comrades! Pork Petrovna, count, who for
Friday's proposal from deputy ...
PORK PETROVNA:
Count aloud or to yourself?
CHAIRMAN:
Himself.
PORK PETROVNA:
So I say to myself: I believe
that everyone is more than eighty pounds must refrain ...
CHAIRMAN:
That is correct. Grabber who want to snatch from the National
pie, it's time to paws for ... This is a special question ...
We have to it'll come back and you still
just figure out who the pros. (In
rostrum man jumps in
straitjacket).
CHAIRMAN:
Unleash the speaker ... And remove
he has a gag from his mouth. Publicity,
so the publicity ... Introduce yourself
comrade.
Speakers:
Field Marshal von Shmerts, seven hundred
nineteenth national-territorial districts, Koenigsberg,
East Prussia. Captured in
as a language in 1944 godu.Predstavlyayu Kaliningrad Region
chairman of the kolkhoz "Hitler Kaput!" .. Last night I went out
Chamber of Small Need ...
CHAIRMAN:
Comrades, I think the time has come to understand the
terminology. It is time to withdraw from our terminology of
this humiliating expression "on a small need" ... Y
We do not have "small needs" ... We
is "small needs" ...
(Animation in the hall, single shots).
VON SHMERTS:
And so I came out of the Chamber of ...
need of a small ... But at the door with two zeros I roughly
pushed Catherine II, and cried: "Be good, damned fascist, I am
- on a large need! "Herr President, Wash, we all need equal! ..
CHAIRMAN:
I think we can not
be personal needs. All our needs - general, and to celebrate
they should be the whole world ...
VOTE:
Shame! Shame!
CHAIRMAN:
What's the matter, comrades? (The platform goes a man in a
wig).
Man wearing a wig:
I am a physicist. My name is Isaac
Newton. I speak on behalf of eighteen scholars who live in this
Chamber itself with two zeroes on the
which he said respected field marshal. In violation of all
legal bases from all floors of our vast hospitals come to us
with their needs. As a result of gravity in the House is an
incredible background radiation from all consequences. And all
this is due to the fact that someone from
higher for their own purposes and unscrewed one of the rooms
on the door of our chamber, which
before this Chamber was # 100! We
demand the return of our Chamber of
former name, as well as
demand to create a commission to investigate! Because in our
Chamber there are women ...
VOTE:
Right! Vote! (Applause).
CHAIRMAN:
Decided. Removed from the
vote.
VOTE:
Right! (Applause.
Newton leaves the room through the window).
VOTE:
Do not like our air - breathe
others!
CHAIRMAN:
Pork Petrovna, you have calculated, some for the offer mate
Friday?
PORK PETROVNA:
Now bring kamputer! (By
series pass accounting
scores).
CHAIRMAN:
Timely scientific and technical initiative.
FEMALE VOICE:
Chamber of women am submitting a proposal to elect one
deputy for the female. (Cries "Shame!")
CHAIRMAN:
Very precise, it is not shameful remark. Pluralism,
comrades, it is for women pluralism.
Shouts:
All power to women's soviet!
FEMALE VOICE:
I suggest to our gynecologist
Katsnelenbogen Avdotya Nikitichna!
MALE VOICE:
Require you to select a gynecologist at
alternative basis.
CHAIRMAN:
Walk to the podium, comrade.
Introduce yourself.
MAN:
Mukhin. The representative of the boiler room ... Comrades!
Our institution has been operating for seventy years. AND
as I can remember, never to
gynecologist's office did not choose
no one working boiler.
This develops in us an inferiority complex and the class of
infringement. Offered in Gynecology move our fireman Ivan
Dolbonosa. He is the guy is strong, responsive, heat-resistant
... And in case we all can help him ... Stepan! Stand up, show
people! (From his seat up a guy in an apron and with a poker.
Playful female voices, "We know! We know! ").
KATSNELENBOGEN:
I have nothing against the fellow Dolbonosa not have, but I
have to it as to our future professional issues. Say what
a gynecologist?
CHAIRMAN:
The question is not ethical!
DOLBONOS:
That's it. We are not here to
exam! But tell me,
Avdotya that this rabble? So
that we will not drown one another in
yurisperdentsii! I say this: Gynecology - is not humanism
only to women but to men. I have to hand this work,
as they say, itchy ... Women I love and respect their women
governments!
KANTSNELENBOGEN:
Thank you! I will vote for
you with both hands.
CHAIRMAN:
We still have a lot of different issues, and we have not yet
chosen chief. Pork Petrovna, you felt, finally, those in favor?
PORK PETROVNA:
Even a little bit left!
CHAIRMAN:
Comrades! Who has any questions, ask to speak, but not
exceeding the time limit.
MAN IN TIGHTS:
Women! ..
CHAIRMAN:
Blyam-blyam-blyam! Your time
expired. Who's next?
Woman with a mustache:
On behalf of the veterans of the First
Mounted ...
CHAIRMAN:
Blyam-blyam-blyam! Your time
expired. Next!
MAN WITH BEARD:
I - Engels My question is
chairman. Tell the family -
unit of society?
CHAIRMAN:
Cell.
MAN WITH BEARD:
And why did your family lives
in the palace, and our society -
in the cells?
CHAIRMAN:
Frederick - you're wrong!
MYZHCHINA C BEARD:
I demand an investigation!
CHAIRMAN:
Gdlyan-gdlyan-gdlyan! .. Pork
Petrovna! You felt, finally,
who are "behind"?
PORK PETROVNA:
Considered ... Tire out ...
CHAIRMAN:
Well, how many "yes"?
PORK PETROVNA:
According to some data in favor
voted two or three people.
CHAIRMAN:
And against?
PORK PETROVNA:
Now count.
CHAIRMAN:
Comrades! While pork P. thinks, I want to do
message. Comrades! In my opinion, we
all a bit stunned and we want pereryva.Est two proposals.
Comrade Napoleon has three minutes, and the commandant of our
restaurant offers an hour.
VOTE:
Three minutes! Long live
Bonaparte!
CHAIRMAN:
I understand you. Passes offer the commandant. Declared
Curfew! We will continue to
meeting after all of us
will be made necessary injection, infusion and sanitary
processing! Bon Appetit!
Ku-ka-re-me!
________________________________
