SoundTrack: BY KASPUTIS SERGEY / SSG '97
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(C) PLAYGEAR COMPANY / BD
Author: Alexander Bazhenov / Ze Pagan
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"Winter has stood out today
Harsh ... "
From the book "How crappy in Siberia in the winter"
D-ac ... In the winter we have cold, it's true!
And the snow is stale by the end of April. But not so scary,
almost always after winter comes spring. For example, what
happened this time ...
A little over a month from the date of release
in light DEJA VU # 04 and slightly less from the date of IU
ropriyatiya dedicated to this
A 3 event. In general, we have the totally
3 Tew recovered and did Trudi ■ 3 were over the next number.
Here = 3, it should be noted that the process
| 3 work on the magazine, we do not exceed
3 terminates the second year, ie
• 3 after completion of the next three no9 measure, with an
interval of just a x 3 a few days, we will immediately Ac
3 Tupa to work on sleduyushim!
¡The 3 If you want to - it is our normal5 3 LIMITED rhythm of
work ... t 3 So, gather once we
3 at the Card! Nal'a that would poreshat
some painful a question,
the lining of the magazine. The weather was
very ruleznaya and I often looked out the window,
than on the monitor. Nature and whispered,
however, exactly what I did not catch.
One thing was clear: get rid of concrete jungle - it's time for
freedom! I immediately expressed their views and, as it turned
out, Dan!! l with the Card! nal'om also yearned for the green
grass. No sooner said than done! Although initially Card! Nal
began to chase, saying that it will soon any need to pass
exams, but we it is not bought and put the question squarely:
either you're with us or for life will live
on one salary! It was a strong argument (I
would even say - dirty), and Card! nal
agreed. Generally, it was decided to
party the next day, but eat on
nature of the three ... r-at! It's more like on the booze, you
will agree! Therefore, after brief deliberation, it was decided
to take a ruleznogo foreigner, well of course CAV'a. I was
entrusted with a very important task - to produce semi-finished
products chicken legs (which then only I were in abundance),
namely: marinate them, because we are going to make kebabs and
not just a barbecue, and RULEZNY SHASHLYK! Departing from Card!
Nal'a, I called CAV'u, incidentally drove away from the phone,
a minor boy, who all asked for it.
- Uncle, and Uncle, give me a piece on hlebushek!
To me that he quite reasonably observed.
- Are you new or old?
The kid showed me the language and going growled.
- Clutching - just say so!
I dialed and listened long beeps, said after the boys.
- Fuck you - a goat!
- Sam the goat! , Immediately responded to me the handset.
- It's me not you! - I suddenly remembered.
- And then who should nafig? - Asks the voice.
Judging by the last dialect I kerf that
is CAV, what immediately convinced.
- CAV, you what?
- Probability - 90%. - Haughtily replied
tube.
- And the other 10%? - I asked sarcastically.
- And the rest - do not care! - Amiably said
CAV.
Then I realized that useless to argue further
and immediately got down to business.
- Listen, CAV, we immediately decided on skewers
nature of-indulge, you're as free tomorrow?
- Uh-huh. - A meaningful response to it.
- Well tady waiting, sir. - I said, and stomped up
home.
There I immediately sat down at the computer and engaged in
some sort of article to the journal. This article has been
impressive and I finished only one in the morning, totally
forgot about chicken legs! I had to urgently prepare the
marinade and everything else, hoping that tomorrow will not
kill me for this hack-work ...
All arrived on time and we are not losing
gift of time, moved out of town on foot
as We live almost on the outskirts. Along the way we
"Slightly" Zatar to better digested meat. Twenty minutes later
we were almost there. Spread around ruleznye landscapes: to the
left stood the last home of new buildings and to the right that
something like trash. Card! Nal was walking and muttered
yourself some rules of the Russian language,
suddenly braked and lifted his right leg,
carefully examining the sole. We are
immediately interested and we came in closer. He stood like a
stork on one leg and made a face saying.
- Shit, it's mine - neuter.
CAV looked suspiciously at the Card! Nal'a.
- Yours?
- Very funny. - Muttered Card! Nal, wiping his feet on grass. -
Not mine but a dog. - Why is sabochache? - Do not let up
meticulous CAV.
- Do not sobachache and dog. - Corrected him
Card! Nal - Look in closer.
- A Cho him nafig, watch something? Shit,
Brother, this is such a thing on it with a
parties do not see - it's like a pancake, one
shit work! - Thoughtfully spoken
CAV.
- That's right! - We said in unison and walked
further. A few minutes later, we chose a place on the hill and
began to settle. As has long been known to
barbequing need fire, but in order
Need to get fire wood. Coming to
such a complex inference, we wandered off in search of these.
The problem was really daunting, because area, we have chosen,
clearly suffered bezdrovem. Card! Nal already ten minutes
wandering up one seat on the lawn, and something was trying to
to detect it.
- And he's busy cho? -Troubled Dan!! L.
- Probably, catching grasshoppers. - I suggested.
- What nafig, grasshoppers! - Stuck his head out of the bushes
CAV. May - a month in the yard! - What, what! - I mimicked him.
- More small and stupid, that's what! CAV waved and disappeared
into the bushes. With just barely, we are Dan!! L'om scored
some branches and dragged a couple of snags. Here
painted and Card! nal, happily
bringing both hands on the tufts of grass. In Dan!! L'as from
such rudeness jaw dropped, I politely inquired.
- Do you, by chance, not ruptured? And then rest a bit.
Card! Nal noticed that it is not tired.
Dan!! L restored the ability to speak and
growled.
- Okay, well at least the green is not brought.
- Cho, I just what? - Offended Card! Nal
and snorted.
CAV'a was not yet clear, but it was well audible. He wielded a
thirty meters from us in the bushes, in the hollows. From the
bushes came the loud and NAFIG'i POFIG'i, and themselves bushes
were shaking as if there were etched bear.
- Well, this something what the fuck it does! -
puzzled shrugged Dan!! l.
- Yes, certainly not catching grasshoppers. - I replied.
- Must see. - Said Card! Nal.
Really had to look at, and then
CAV so badly shook the air for its ditsebelami that there were
conflicts with the local population. Case that We were in close
proximity from the extreme houses, and staunchest grinpisovtsy
in the image of old men and old women are found quite often now
... Generally, they could easily go somewhere zvyaknut, drip or
hit. We approached the bushes and heard next monologue CAV'a.
- ... Here I sit here nafig as lamer one, damn it! Peel And
this is already done for the branch half an hour. Yes it even a
branch can not be called! Drin nafig, and that's it. And this,
damn it, all do not care! Even the ax did not think to take,
tourists, your mother! And there, nafig,
Give them to communion with nature. A nature
this, damn it, though all do not care, just can not
provide people with basic necessities, nafig!
Zachuhannyh some firewood and then, damn it, no!
Vasche had to tromp into the forest, rather than light here.
And then, as teplotrasniki nafig, climbed hell, damn it, knows
where and there, so that fade-in to continue out of sight,
so no, all do not care, it is necessary that the whole city
seen hanging out PLAYGEAR! That these feet could not be home
and fry as normal People do? Personally mene this romanticism
is in where! And anyway ...
We did not listen, what else do
and put his head into our kusty.Vzoram presented the following
picture. CAV was in the thick bushes on my ass and all wet
sweat and fiery speeches sawed dining
drin hefty knife sticking out of the ground.
The sight was quite funny, at
As for us, and we snorted with laughter.
- Ah-ah-ah! - Extended CAV, seeing us - came to the tourists!
Dan!! L, barely stifling laughter, he said.
- Listen, CAV, farm, of course, is voluntary, but why do not
you go and do not take ... - Then he showed through the bushes
to lying thirty meters is quite decent
a log.
- It's that I like hanging out at silly user
clearing and collecting all sorts of rubbish! - Burn CAV. -
Yes, I for one minute Win'dy, nafig, curtained. But this stick
- a matter of principle, or I her, or she did dokanaet! And he
fiercely attacked her again.
- You are nothing like? - Asked
I Card! nal'a and pointed to CAV'a.
Card! Nal scratch his nose and said.
- Prisoner of Buchenwald?
- H-ee-a.
- AURIN for harvesting?
- H-ee-a.
- Madhouse on a walk?
- Oh, no! Well, remember the movie "The Golden Calf"!
- Ah-ah-ah-ah! - Drove Card! Nal and turning to CAV'u, said
with emotion. - Saw, Shura, sawing! - I'll kill you! - CAV
yelled and threw his already has become a favorite, occupation,
jumped on Card! nal'a. We are Dan!! L'om barely had time to
catch this Ninjas on the fly and all four blockages in
bushes. Pobarahtavshis a minute, we finally calm down the hot
guy Rybinsk and explained to him that this is just an innocent
joke. - Innocent? - CAV indignant and poked in the
bruises and abrasions on his knees.
- Sometimes. - I threw up his hands - you can write this as the
cost of production. - Again! - Roared CAV.
- Look! - Suddenly exclaimed Dan!! L and
pointed the finger at our backs.
- Snake! - Yelled Card! Nal and disappeared from the
view.
CAV, who was sitting closest to the spot on
pointed out that Dan!! l, stammering said.
- T-t-ah-ah-m, which is really ... it - and
He tried to portray the snake on his fingers.
- Worse! - Making a scary face, said Dan!! L.
In CAV'a fell from his nose glasses and he shyly said.
- And what is worse?
- Yes, enough to scare some people! - I could not resist. -
Just drin that you sawed, itself is broken.
CAV is still looking at us suspiciously, then turned.
- And now, tear the claws! - I whispered to Dan!! L'y
and we rushed from the bushes.
Card! Nal, who was standing nearby, anxiously
asked.
- Where is CAV?
- Now you'll see! - We said, running
past him.
Then out of the bushes came a roar of a wounded tiger
and appeared CAV, waving in all directions
thus drin.
- All life deprive nafig! - He shouted good
mat and seeing the stunned Card! nal'a,
with the cry: "PC rulez!", rushed to him.
Card! Nal thinking that it really
bitten by some sort of highly contagious viper, not
waited for the bloody denouement and pulled
behind us ... CAV another ten minutes running around the meadow
with drin, but we move quickly, with all three in different
directions. As he said afterwards Card! Nal, to knock down the
trail. And we were not with him argue ... Plenty of incident
and slightly cooled down, we finally started to realize the
main goal of our picnic.
Thus, the fire was divorced and all the misunderstandings
are settled. But as it turned out, sit bare ass on the still
damp ground is not quite rulezno. (By the way, about the "naked
ass" is, of course, a figurative expression, so do not think
anything ...) Before We arose at least challenge -
find the "chairs". CAV said that he knows
where to get them and we went with him. Soon he
led us to the place and proudly showed
them.
- Well!? - He asked smugly, waiting, obviously, to hear the
loud delight. "Chairs" were rims either
from the Urals, whether from KAMAZ, weighing not less than
quintal each! Of course, we guys are not too shabby, but not to
the same extent. Dan!! L, making a sad face, he said.
- CAV, you need to be treated! And went in another direction.
- And I'll stand a better foot. - Said Card! Nal and went back.
CAV grimly looked at me and put a leg forward and recited a
terrible voice. - And you, Brutus?!
- And I, CAV! - I threw up his hands.
However, and this problem has been solved successfully. Each
has got its own seat. As the table was used old washing machine
or, more precisely, what of it remained. It was time to start
making kebabs. But we lacked the most important attribute -
skewers. Event threatened to stall! Rescued all Dan!! L. Under
cover of night like a dark demon, he sneaked into the holy of
holies of his mother and steal some knitting needles, which are
served us, let them bad, but the skewers ...
... I can only say that we have sat quite nicely and that
nothing I was afraid - kebabs turned RULEZNYE!
