(C) Paracels
- [Prologue ]----------------------------------------------
------ For all the time in our parting prodolzhitegnoy
interesting material for my column is not accumulated as much
as we would like. But for this, something remarkable, the
numbers, I still found a couple of amusing to those deserving
of your attention.
Ready? Then went ...
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Part I.
Have you ever rode a train with forged tickets?
No? I am too. But our friends from the famous city of Vladimir
this is nevpervoy. As a whole such actions could be called
illegal, but then the pockets have not bottomless, and the
money we have do not know how to draw. But the scanner and
printer to cope with it just wonderful (no, not the money of
course draw and tickets). I to himself to ride on feykovomu
ticket, but do this to me, firstly, does not allow a conscience
and, secondly, the absence of the above devices nearby. In
Sat'a and Snake'a (it's the name of Vladimir our friends (these
names in order not call conspiracy; 8)), this process is
technically already delivered at a high enough level. This fact
allows them to often come to visit us, what we are always
happy. So, in late January for us in the carpet came Sat, Snake
and who would have thought, M.M.A!!! (More about this in
Section *******). They drove from Vladimir on a commuter train
Vladimir-Carpet. Snake was going to feykovym ticket, he's the
told me that black-comic story. I only allow myself peresskazat
her all the rules of Hollywood thrillers.
... Nobody knows his own doom ...
Nor that no signs of trouble when, in one recent January
morning, the trio of brave scenery left with Vladimir railway
station in the direction of all the already known (in the
narrow circles) c00l city called Carpet. The names of these
characters certainly are etched in the history of the Spectrum,
but today the talk is not about it.
Snake, was driving on the production of the ticket In very
Vladimir quality inkjet printer. Until then, until the time
everything was going pretty smoothly until Sat did not start
with an activity of the working-striker search at least some
miscalculation of Vladimir clandestine printers (Their name for
privacy also fails to show). And would not know world of this
pathetic story, give up Sat from his thankless job. The benefit
is not such a person Sat - so if for anything will undertake ...
Lies before me this ill-fated ticket left Snake '
om the memory, as well as evidence
my words. Look ... and do not see anything unusual. And you?
GORKOVSKAYA Railway
ST. VLADIMIR
00000540.60
BPMF 00006335 1
AREA 00 K0000
26-JAN-98 07.30
TICKET N 011551
PAUL 00 <> 07
PRICE: **** 16.80 *
(FISK)
So looks like this same ticket. Well, found something
suspicious? No? Then remember what year and look on the ticket
again. Now a guess? Right! The ticket generally could not be
printed on Jan. 26, 1999-the year! And if you think logically,
January 26, 1999, the year he was exactly 1 year!
Now imagine the scene: the triumphant Sat, depressed Snake
and watching with interest all going UnBel! Ever ... The most
comical and at the same time, the tragic scene itself just hard
to imagine. But all that was!
According to the laws of Murphy in the car entered the
controllers ... That in this time chustvoval Snake? Probably
filled his hatred to Sat'u;)). Almost time for "W" ... The
controller came to cultural seated young people and also the
cultural (that vrochem less maybe) asked them to show their
tickets. Snake has already said goodbye to their lives, Sat
bloodthirsty rubbed his hands, UnBel! Ever the same
sochustvenno looked at Snake'a, dudaya that sees him at the
last again ... Sat craved blood% -), but his dreams were not
destined to true. Snake otdal controller to your ticket, and
what was his surprise when a pretty woman with a punch, with a
minute turned his ticket in his hands, high-speed motion
pierced him, and gave shocked by this act Snake'u that already
mentally prepared myself to life in prison ')
Actually, the etoi could and to finish this exciting
history. But no! To somehow reassure you, it is worth adding
that the entire trio successfully reached our headquarters and
with ulubkami on their faces told him about this instructive
case.
However, the story of the ticket, some time later, found
its no less shocking Continued ... The second part of this
horror movie read after a commercial break.
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]---------------------------------------------- -! commercials
dedicated cruise strips "Grey Neck"!
--------------------------------------------------
-------------
Part II.
Russia, in 1999, mankind
still alive, no wars between people
and intelligent computer does not and
expected.
In this idyllic and there are our
the main characters ...
SAT ... as a mad ticket controller 'owner
SNAKE ... as an unfortune ticket owner
February 20. Venue - carpets, the headquarters of Eternity
Industry. Kstrechey overjoyed with the D-Man'om Sat and Snake o
chemto say. Suddenly, in the hands of ticket Snake'a appears
suburban electric trains Vladimir-Carpet-Vyazniki. Its
authenticity is highly questionable. Nothing unsuspecting D-Man
in order time something quietly copying Sat'u.
- Here they are, the tickets! - Said Snake. - It seems that
everything is normal. A number of something though right?
What's the date? ..
The answer, from which Snake learned that the date is
printed correctly, followed immediately. But something seems
not Snack gave the rest, so he continued his studies.
And suggest you do this thrilling action - not regret it!
GORKOVSKAYA Railway
ST. VLADIMIR
00000540.60
BPMF 00006335 1
AREA 00 K0000
20-NOV-99 07.30
TICKET N 011554
PAUL 00 <> 07
PRICE: **** 16.80 *
(FISK)
Well, how's tricks, my dear, Sherlock Holmes, Poirot,
Maigret and the Other? If your search does not uvenchalis
success, be prepared to shock (although not insulin) ... You
are, I suppose, have rushed to look for a flaw not a date, but
in something else, hoping for that too, this time with a date
no problem. However, I hasten to disappoint you: it was a date!
"How so?" - Ask You. And that's it! Do not believe me? Then
read the first sentence of the first paragraph of the second
part of this thriller (that immediately after the list of main
characters). And now look what month is on the ticket ... So,
after detecting such a slip Snake had nearly died in a fit of
uncontrollable hysterical laughter falling off the chair. And
it was from anything!
Rare ticket, which I left Sat, again lies in front
me. Want to see this historical monument? Then join us. Image
of charge, by taxi (fee = $ 5, 8))
And they say: "Miracles do not happen!" And how come!
Confirmation of this fact: with this ticket Snake absolutely
calm came in the carpet; controller, carried out in its hole,
did not notice anything! However, history is silent about how
two of Vladimir hero returned home, was not whether they have
problems with repetitive control tickets, whether they are
alive? ..
Thus here, my dear readers! What there Copperfield
when an ordinary Russian guy from Vladimir hinterland, so
impunity and masterly obdanyvaet all controllers! We wish
should he continue to stay out! Snake, we are with you!
In general, Sat 'Snake - otlichnye guys, great coder and
Artist (respectively), and just good friends all Eternity! Do
not judge them severely, ok? After such a heroic (and lack of
self-preservation instinct) can only envy!
It's all over!
- [Post scriptum ]---------------------------------------------
- The author expresses his deep gratitude and Sat'u Snake'u. It
thanks to them that the publication of this article was in many
ways as possible. Additional thanks to D-Man'u, from whose
words were written The second part of this thriller.
- [Post post scriptum
]------------------------------------------ At this currently
known for certain that Sat 'Snake blagopopoluchno got home
(except I could see them alive at all recently?) / 30-Mar-99 /
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You've probably already thought it all? But no. I promised
You two themes, then there will be two. And here it is - the
second. Meet ...
Article Daniel'a "Industry eternal ruleza" from Deja Vu # 7
DEDICATED!
I knew that would have to continue his research in the field
of misspelling the name of our group started in Buzz 16. This
time serves as a source journal Deja Vu and friendly group
PlayGear (think correctly configured).
Exhausting in the last issue Buzz'a all possible
combinations, I I really do not hope to find something
kontseputalno new, but not, apparently, in vain. And what was
my joy when the article Daniel'a entitled "Industry eternal
ruleza" I saw my dear heart Iternity Industry. Honestly, would
never have thought that you could write! It turns out that even
a few times row, which, in fact, did Daniel. But this is not
everything. What happened next, I was just shocked - until I
was funny! Many must have already know that Eternity Industry
abbreviated written as EI. So it is, but just do not for
Daniel'a. In this regard, it is simply a revolution. Yes! For
as different can be called that in the opinion of Daniel'a and
is an abbreviation of our group. Dogataytes, as he wrote it.
Think II? And here and there - IE!!! % -} And, if you think
logically, no we do not Eternity Industry and not even Iterfity
Industry, a very real Iternity Endustry. Obtained as follows.
However, despite all this, we do not take offense and take
the apology to us in this article a few incorrect analysis of
our demos "The 5th Element", even if it is in such an unusual
sight! With any case. But I'm still gnawing curiosity. Dear,
Daniel! Dear PlayGear! Be so kind - please explain: in what
condition should be that a few times wrong to write two simple
words and two simple letters and as well as in such a state can
enter, ok? Thank you in advance.
In conclusion, I wish you success and all the best. Waiting
Deja Vu # 8.
But you in the appendage, dear readers, a couple of examples
of how not to write Eternity Industry, but our friends continue
to write like this (the most buzz is highlighted in capital
letters):
eZernity industry
(Probably the authors simply prikolnulis)
eNternity industry
(Not classifiable)
eterLOBY industry
(What is this all about??)
Do not think that we all have thought up. It
because some people send us greetings!
It was, it seems that something else, but I could not
remember where.
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At this my Rants' Raves came to an end. More uvididsya!
Sincerely, Alexander.