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8)
(C) Klim / oHg / XXL
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In kindergarten - PE: children were using foul language. Head
went complain to the neighboring military unit
where the two soldiers sent to repair a
Kindergarten electricity. Lt.
called delinquent.
- No, Comrade Lieutenant, personal
currently this is not allowed. Private Sidorov
payal wires, I kept the bottom of the ladder.
Then tin was dripping on my head.
- Well, are you?
- I said: "Private Sidorov, do you
Do not you see that your friend on the forehead
falling drops of molten tin? "
*
Vovochka explains the angry father
why he got a bad mark on the arithmetic:
- The teacher asked how many would be twice
three, and I said six. And then he asked,
how much will be three times two ...
- Is it not a dick?
- I said so.
*
Physics teacher is going to demonstrate to the class
experience for electricity. Repeaters from the back row asks:
- And do not ebnet?
- Yes, do not seem to be .. Who said that?!
*
Budyonny speaks to students with
memories:
- I leave it I'm on a white horse. I look
left: to fuck! I look right: Fuck
mother!
Children:
- In a fucking memory!
*
eat cake. Then runs up to him
Piglet says:
- Winnie, let pie!
- It's not a pie, a bun - chewing
meet a bear.
- Winnie, well then let bun!
- This is not a bun, a patty! - Answers
Winnie.
- Winnie, well then let cake!
- The pig does not know what she needs!
*
- I do not know anyone who would have liked more
animals than Zina: she drowns kittens only
in warm water.
*
Cat caught the mouse:
- To live you want?
- And with whom?
- Here's a whore! There are even do not want to!
*
Away:
- Your dog as a very unfriendly stares
for me?
- Do not pay attention. He always
See the one who eats from his bowl.
*
- Tell me you love parrots? -
asks the owner, hiring a maid.
- Do not worry, I eat everything!
*
Forest. Run out 25 hedgehogs. One of them
commands:
- Whoa! Everything stopped.
- Pasta! All begin to eat grass.
Commander raises his head, looks around
grazing sea urchins, and says:
- Well, we not horses?
*
Two godmother decided to score a bull. One keeps
the horns, and the second hit with a sledgehammer. Bang! Ox
worth it. Another blow! Bull stands as if nothing
happened. Then the godfather who holds, said:
- Kum if you me more time to vrezhesh
head - I will not stop the bull!
*
One guy was talking parrot.
Here is a man sends his wife to the south to rest,
and leads the girl back home. Parrot remember her name, and
when the man brought second, the parrot says:
- Are not you Maria?
- No, I'm Dasha - she replied in surprise.
A man realized that things were bad. Wife arrives, the parrot
will tell all. And when brought another friend, put the parrot
in the refrigerator. In the midst of a fun girl
for some reason, crawled into the refrigerator. Saw
there is a parrot and says in surprise:
- Ass!
- Huepochka! With your depravity penguin
become!
*
At the oral examination in the Communist Academy Chapaeva
ask what documents are issued to delegates. Vasily Ivanovich
embarrassed silence. Kotovsky, hiding behind a palm, suggests:
- Manda-you!
- And you, Grigory Ivanovich, boil-Chapa,
- If your ears cut off, and did on dick
will look like!
*
- What are you all write, Petya?
- Opera writing, Vasily Ivanovich.
- And about me will be there?
- And here's operas will, Vasily Ivanovich -
find out!
*
Once the head vokzla sees: suitable Chukcha to the wagon
train and beat on him head, goes to the next - and head
suited to the third - and the head, etc.
Chief says: "The Chukchi, you crazy?"
- "But, no, Chukcha soft coach is looking for."
*
Congress of the crocodile hunter in the Congo.
The Englishman stands: "I have killed one hundred crocodiles."
Acts Frenchman: "I have killed two hundred crocodiles.
"Performs Chukchi:" I killed fifty Nocera. "All were amazed and
decided to spy on someone hunts Chukcha. See: sneaks Chukcha
with a rifle to the bush, pops out of the bush frightened negro.
Chukchi: "crocodile?" - "No, Sir!"
*
Two Chukchi are seen in the sky plane:
- However, the government is flying!
- But, no. When the government, then
More and motorcycles around.
*
Chukchi ask:
- What is the scariest bird?
- Hang!
- Why?
- Big, scary: Chukchi shot three times while the man let go!
*
Got lost two of the Chukchi in the woods. One
says:
- Well, let's shoot! Maybe we
someone will hear.
The second shot, but nobody responds.
- Shoot more!
He shoots. Again silence.
- I can not, boom ended.
*
Chukchi comes to be tested, and brings a three-liter jar of
urine.
Nurse:
- You would have brought a suitcase shit.
Chukchi pulls out from behind a suitcase:
- As if he knew that it would take.
