(C) PLAYGEAR COMPANY / BD
Author: Alexander Bazhenov / Ze Pagan
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Ze PAGAN present
most rulez'ny episode
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Hi, lads! At this time, I invite
you attend the presentation DEJA VU # 02, which BINARY
DIMENSION in full force cool pro'drink'ali in October and look
What came of it. So, begin ...
Welcome to the virtual reality!
*
Presentation, to be exact, real-drink party,
was deferred to a hut in Cardinal'a.
We Daniil'om pritopali to him an hour or so
four, taking with an N-Noe amount of liquid fuel, which is
known to is an integral part of any party.
Cardinal, as befits a gracious host, not to waste time and
sweated then in the kitchen, goading a blunt knife last year's
fat. Well, I love bacon, and who easily? Virtual'ov has not
been, and we include comp and running DEJA VU # 02, peacefully
sitting on the couch, sipping a cold beer and discussing some
aspects of the magazine. Cardinal showed us healthy poster on
which is very colorful and yet very briefly expressed the whole
essence of Computer Family PC: INTEL OUTSIDE!
We Daniil'om immediately expressed their full
approval, and immediately drank a toast to prosperity
Speccy and Ammy. Peace talks broke insistent on the door, we
looked at each other. - They are. - Murmured the Cardinal, and
walked to open. While he fumbled with the locks, we uncorked
another bottle and poured into glasses. Suddenly a wild cry
broke melodic bulkane beer.
AMIGA R-U-U-U-L-E-Z!!!
Our nerves could not stand: I spilled beer on
Pants, Daniil nearly choked, and began
loud hiccup. Followed by a scream followed by a
low moan and the sound of falling Cardinal'a,
like a log body. Suspecting the worst,
We rushed into the hallway ...
In his pocket was heard some scuffling, suddenly
door opened, and our astonished when they had the Panarama
Next: VHS ' sheep, grunting dragged by the arms and legs being
in a position kamatoznom Cardinala. Seeing us, they stopped and
critically looking around, finally shook hands: "Hi, guys!"
- Hello - I said.
- I-k-k! - Added Daniil.
Virtual'y instantly responded, sensing a certain mockery in
Daniil'ovskom schedule. - What has sung? - Muttered S0N.
- The campaign they've drank themselves - he shook his head
in my direction LEA, carefully considering the wet spot on the
leg. - A Th is the matter with him? - Asked Daniil, indicating
a glass on the young to show signs of life Cardinal'a. - And is
he with joy, - said S0N - beer is left? - Up to hell! - "We
replied, stretching nearly full glasses. This gesture was our
unforgivable mistake! - Rulez-z-z. - Exhaled VHS and completely
forgetting about the rest in their arms Gardinal'e, let go ...
However, he is guilty, did not have to pretend to be half dead.
If he had started to violently protest they would have thrown
it back in your pocket. Dragging same Gardinal'a five meters,
VHS, and pretty tired of beholding a fresh beer, not could not
resist. Further, it was awesome spectacle prodolzhavscheesya,
as it seemed to us quite a long time! Cardinal, who came almost
entirely in himself and was obviously pretending to faint,
suddenly deprived of the fulcrum. Here
no matter how cool you were not a coder, but the law of gravity
for all is one. In short, it steadily, with acceleration of 9.8
m / s * s, starting pull the floor up to which, at least not
less than one meter. Mathematical mind Cardinal'a immediately
calculates the percentage of destruction, which will undergo a
body weighing 60 kg falling from a height as aforesaid, out of
fear lifted it (percentage) in God knows what degree of! At
work includes self-preservation instinct. All this, of course,
is hundredths of a second. Because there is no support other
than air, need to use air. It is well
make our smaller brothers of the family of birds. Cardinal, of
coz, good coder, but does not feathered. Well, no luck, but
what to do ... Nevertheless, he is making a very desperate
attempt to keep and starts very fast swing wing ..., uh, sorry,
hands. Obviously trying to create around himself a kind of
turbulence. We stand and stare with Daniil'om all these
manipulations with the explicit approval and admiration, and
even with some pride, and Virtual'y make bets with one another
for a bottle of Baltika - will fall or not fall. But no matter
how good performance is not had the Cardinal, it was clear that
for a long time he not survive. Initially ordered waving
hands now clearly slowed in breathing could be heard other
sounds, face bought a bright red color. All of these warning
signs we are very alarmed ... Cardinal suddenly stopped all at
once rotational - translational motion and issued a Farewell
hoarse scream, fell to the floor! At a time of silence, we
stood and thought each of his. Then there was a replica ...
- Eagle! i-k-k! - Proudly and said Daniil
gulp drank beer.
- All that came to my ears. Paragraph! - I said grimly,
looking at a still Cardinal'a.
- Icarus, you're ours! - Almost to tears Superbad S0N.
- Oh, you, the hummingbird! I am because of you on the bubble
spun! - Waved LEA and hurt
sniffed. Cardinal did not say anything ... Apparently this time
he shied specifically! But time passed and we had to start a
walk ... presentation. Beer and wine have already order warm
and fat his whole appearance indicated that it is high time to
eat. This drug is generally better, "expands" in
frozen state. Cardinal still
showed signs of life, lay sprawled
hands and buried his nose in the carpet. It was necessary to
urgently do something about it. We got up a half-circle and
began to deliberate. - Yes there think of Che! - Hot S0N, -
right now shall find cold water in the tub and put
it there while we drink beer - oklimaetsya to anyone!
- And if you drown? - Doubted Daniil.
- Well ... give artificial respiration - answered S0N.
- Yeah, gums gums - and we snorted Daniil
gaily neighing, remembering scanty song.
- Maybe he turnip nahlestat say helps - I suggested - only palm
a painful, perhaps, but ... I looked around
sides and pointed at the sneakers: "This is the most
again! "
- You are all perverts and sadists! - Entered into
conversation LEA, - well, except you can still live
Rights to thrash some dirty sneakers?
Movies should look, boobies. E-l-e-k-t-richestvo, here goes!
Seen as a revived patient? Thrown at him two phases: the
bang-bang and as good as new!
We are delighted and proud to look
at him.
- That's what a pro! - Whisper
in my ear and I S0N according nodded.
Meanwhile, the initiative in their hands completely took LEA.
For several seconds he gave dozens of valuable suggestions,
having succeeded in This sip from each cup. We
all scattered about the room in search of chegonibud
conductive, namely: the cord. S0N attacked the old TV and have
already started gnaw through that same cable, I head
climbed into a box, where lay all sorts of
radio components, which Cardinal occasionally upgrade your
SCORP; Daniil wearing goggles, carefully groping hands on the
wallpaper, trying to obviously, to find the hidden wiring.
Suddenly, from the hallway again heard eerie
cry, only this time not crying Cardinal. We stuck his head out
and saw that the LEA jumping on one leg, and Cardinal in the
speed limit, working with might and main knees moves toward the
kitchen. As it turned out, LEA, tired of waiting for us, he
decided to act independently. Remembering that in the hallway,
the staircase is rubble, he Rushed back and actually found a
piece of old wire about a meter long. Broke it in half, he
carefully cleaned out the ends and had begun to tie a wire to
the leg, grumbling here that nothing anyone can
trust. During these busy and caught
it suddenly came to a Cardinal. He
instantly realized what was going on and that
waiting for him, and not becoming for a long time to think,
LEA painful bite on the leg. We were in every way to soothe
him, but he struggled and hopping on one foot, yelling that he
was, he says, urgently needs to make to the clinic an injection
of rabies, because the Cardinal probably mad because normal
coders do not usually bite! It was reasonable observation and
we could not disagree with him. S0N brought him a full glass of
wine, saying that it was for disinfection. But the LEA,
saying that the poison had already entered the body, has
started processing the inside. Between sips, he wildly rolled
his eyes and husky voice: "Give me a pistol, shoot, as a dog!
"Parabellum we had and we gave him another glass, after the
adoption of which he had long frowned, but then, to everyone's
relief, he said that the infection is stopped, and that after
such a crappy swill no normal batsila not survive. Then we
realized it, remembering what we actually got together and
started persuade Cardinal'a open the door, because
All treats were in the kitchen. By the way
say it is well done, the gift of time is not wasted
and while we helped LEA, he barricaded himself there, propping
the door dining table and sat on it himself. Now he
let go of all sorts of sarcastic remarks
our address, calling us loonies and immoral individuals are
extremely dangerous for society as a whole. Still, he shouted
that he let it burst, but will gobble up all (and what can not,
then a bite), bacon and salads. And let us all
podohnem with hunger, he will not cry. In
end of the monologue he solemnly promised
that he would write tracmo disks so for five, where
tell the world what we are bad.
He then started to actuate
Plan number one, namely: to eat fat and
cabbage relish champing at the same time. Our nerves were on
edge. Already gone for an hour, and we are not in one eye, and
too well-fed We, too, was not. S0N rushed to the door and
yelled that if the Cardinal this very minute stops to destroy
the food and will not open, then write tracmo there will be
nobody, but the obituary he definitely will! After these
threats champ was quiet and heard a new sound that emitted by a
person trying to swallow a loaf. Virtual'y very quickly figured
out that bacon is already finished and issued a battle cry,
rushed to attack. We Daniil'om barely managed to jump aside.
Such natural disasters VHS hit the fragile door, which,
however, withstood the first onslaught. But it only angered
them further and they again rushed to the attack. We understand
that after the third attempt, the door will not stand and fell
pull off brutal VHS from the kitchen, simultaneously telling
the hushed Cardinal'u that we can hold them no more two or
three minutes and during that time he has make for themselves
the appropriate conclusions. Soberly assess the situation,
Cardinal'u took only five seconds and he took the right
decision: yelled that he had a refrigerator full of fat and
cabbage, and if it guaranteed immunity, he is a stroke
narezhet. After such words have Virtul'ov immediately lost all
my aggression and was immediately signed a long-term truce.
Quickly removing from the floor strewn salads, we built a new
and moving it all into a room sat down, finally, at the table. "
The first step, while still were normal,
Virtual'y rushed connect Ammy, which was dragged along to the
black - red times Sovdep a TV set Cardinal'a. I do not
caveat, namely, two above-mentioned color ethno miracle of
technology and betrayed. But look all the same it was possible.
Running some demo, we started to work hard jaws. Soothe the
first famine and irrigate the contents of the stomachs of good
drinks, Virtual'y much kinder, and as usually began to show
off, to sharyas Work Bench and demonstrate multi-tasking ...
Soon everyone was already nishtyak, but
We did not stop there
and I flew in a stall. Following the adoption of next-liter it
became generally nishtyak and everyone engaged in the business.
Daniil took a tape recorder, and to include it on the record
with varying degrees of success pushing some helluva lot
intelligent speech, punctuated only moisten the throat.
I sat down and savaged Bat on his knee, trying to
master Amiga ELITE, but for some reason guys are going out and
I could not even fly with station. S0N, specifically
zabaldevshy, joking as follows. Having called himself an ardent
defender of nature, he planted a healthy Shmat lard on a fork
and climbed on the sill. The question: "Where are you going?".
He succinctly replied: "Feed the Birds." Leaning on a belt in
the window of the fourth floor, He waved a piece of bacon, and
began invitingly yelling: "F-at-la! T-at-la!". But the dove
while deemed foolish bird, though not so. Seeing such a
terrible sight, and hearing the cries of S0N'a, everything is
close pigeons and other animals just do not fall into a swoon.
Here in the business including LEA and began to give S0N'u good
advice on ornithology. Cardinal sat pensively chewed on a bun,
watching all of this madhouse. Here S0N was screaming and
almost fell out of the window, LEA barely managed to catch it
leg. It turns out a piece of bacon all the same advantage. We
hardly dragged him out of the transom and sat on the couch,
where he had most first aid, pouring a glass of wine.
But it was already is too much and we are afraid
another prank on his part, and
time was later zasobiralsya home ...
That is so cool and the presentation of the second issue of
the journal Kemerovo DEJA VU.
And now I say goodbye and see you in
VIRTUL'no AMIG'nom syndrome IV
