Paradox'2002 report
Edik / Z-Club
"Instead of Unity
Spirit, have received
simple porn. "
Tanya Amber.
"This story could
to write and a dog. "
Girl N., reading
draft of this article.
"No, comrades, so
We can not achieve happiness "
Benedict Erofeev
Entry
Evening, 2nd September. I have broken
his flesh in two anakomami
(Instant noodles in
chicken broth), a jar of anchovy
(Anchovies in tomato sauce), polbatonom and little white cup.
All this I laid on the table, stood up
and said loudly, usually for
me, a blessing before the meal:
"Glory to the Spectrum!" And then, on reflection, he added:
"And blessed be, at any time, its founders, Sir Clive
Sinclair!" Those of the household who was at this time in the
kitchen, looked at each other fearfully, and shook his
demonstrative fingers to his temple. "So let it be!"
I thought. "The mood is excellent, I now eat here and go
a stroll through the night to Rostov, and
then two days sitting at computer,
making a new bird to Paradox'u ... should be a breath of fresh
air ... heat replaced cool of the evening, and tomorrow morning
begins Paradox - a work of art of universal scale! "So I thought
then. Oh, the Great Manitou, as I
wrong!
One day.
History of Rostov-on-Don, the festival of computer art titled
Paradox turbid and shallow, as if
puddle, but a year has passed like a dream and a blank here's a
new Paradox. AND Now I write to you, my dear,
about how this took place in Rostov
most Paradox, write a short,
because I'm not Rousseau, in fact, to describe the ten pages of
your favorite color of the trousers.
Preparing for Paradox'u held in an atmosphere of high
risk-will connect the Spectrum to
projector to be connected or not, and if they will be
connected, it will be the color or will not, but if there is
color, then give the projector to the screen turned black with
a bright or do not pass. (He will give you
ca. naborschitsy text) (and you would
more silent, because I have you and I have nothing in common
except language, ca. author)
Looking ahead, very far
forward, I will say that during the Paradox'a I unnoticed
to themselves and others, limit your
kilogram of local vodka with a promising title "Jigsaw", while
in front of me danced dancing figures.
So I probably played for some, incomprehensible to myself,
kompyuternoalkogolnuyu idea. However, it was sober, "as
Glass, either in one eye and
etc., but usually fall asleep after
glass. Most likely, it was
one of many mysterious phenomena, of which there were at
Paradox'e abound, as well as going on a lot and other fun
and useless things.
"The chain of mysterious phenomena -
that's what Paradox'2002
Morning, the 7th of September. I moved
trajectories of drinking beverage
went to the festival. And stuck right here
for me, a gaggle of young
mi-Schnick, they bleated and ran
behind. To get rid of these
gadenyshey, I stopped, put his hands acacia tree trunk and began
barf. They are going around in horror
me and galloped on. I waited until they left on decent
distance, graduated from the eruption of booze and snacks and
the like continue your journey, when suddenly
hear-someone laughing at me over
ear. I stopped in the middle of the promenade, rooted to the
spot: "Probably Someone saw me vomit, and now laughs at me "- I
thought ... just turned - no one. It turns out it was me laugh!
Somehow dobrel before entering
"Titanic", which was already a decent crowd Spektrumistov.
Pisyushniki pitiful handful were in side. Some of them sat on
the haunches, as if they were caught
need. And their girls, painted
both harbor whores, strolled back and forth with thin cigarette
in his hand, wagging his butt from side to side, and nothing
but antics and Pontus, they were not.
One of them, bow-legged nozzle
mini, passing by, looked
in my badge and stopped.
- So you're writing a newspaper
"Bird"? - Asks this mochalovidnaya creature with intellect
crablouse.
- What are you, ma'am, of course
No, I'm just the editor, and wrote my article information
twin, who settled in
me at the time of my birth and who always helps me to feign
mental health, I replied. She first jumped
to one side, and then bystrobystro
ran to her, constantly looking back. "Wow, I
"Bent" - I thought - "straight reception
psychological aikido
ha-ha-ha, ma'am, "are those silicone" ladies "and write letters
to newspapers such as "Gonorrhea-Info:" I wanted to take a
in his mouth, and he slammed me in the
anus. Expensive edition, I am very
I'm afraid to get pregnant, what should I do? "
Meanwhile, the people multiplied,
like animals. So many happy snakes I've ever met.
And it was evident that among
mi-Schnick atmosphere of universal zadrochennosti - each
itself. Spektrumisty hang together. All of this pack of hyenas
pisishnyh represents a pathetic. First of all
striking physical
handicap people: dozens of deformed freaks (curves
arms and legs, swan neck, a disproportionately large abdomens,
profuse acne and dandruff and
etc.) faces on the bodies of rats, rickets, the stigma with a
goatee. And wanted them to cry out: Look at yourself, pitiful
Quasimodes-T-shirt with the logo Paradox'a stretched over a
skinny torso, Coward vzlyad - from every loud sound frown
should wipe - run away as Shawky, tail between his legs.
Contrast pisishnikam
Spektrumisty: they are lean,
flexible, moderately fierce, often beautiful. Ex., One young
drunk (because, probably,
bold) Spektrumist (Member
Z-Club) screaming crowd
ptsshnikov: "Hey you motherfuckers, go
more here, I'm going to you
strain. "They both blown away!
Well done, lad! I remember
he wrote a game in a week
after the purchase of Spectrum. Yes,
This game was written in BASIC, it was a text with the
ill-conceived plot and clumsy graphics, but it was a game:
"Father wakes you up in the morning to school, your
action: get up and go to school
pretend to be sick, to send his father to dick ... etc. "And
that's exactly He invented a way, now very
popular zetklube, flushing used in Gandon
toilet. If Gandon stubbornly refuses to disappear and emerge
over time, you should take a shit, and then stick to katyahu
Gandon and then all this matter be washed off. Excellent result!
And our girls, we fuck,
For all her femininity, will give a hundred points up the hill
to any guy, so if you would plop pisishnoy any creature, so
that the air three times will turn around. By the way, about
girls. I kept hoping that she N. come to the Paradox and I it,
finally, I see. She lived with me for over a year, and then it
beginning of the "notch" from our experiments and from
everything else She had gone off somewhere, leaving
my things with me, she was not home
nine and a half weeks and then it disappeared altogether. And
here I am I stand in the middle of the street as an asshole,
Virtue's head, and the whole of such
nervous, dusty and sweaty.
And then comes up to me some
newfangled woodpecker (probably one
of the organizers), slobbering idiot in the female colored
T-shirt, like a scarecrow, puchit eyes Durnev toads and says:
- You are my "bird" is not even taking out bags, and even then
you'll long to be treated at the Palace Health!
- Yes, you go to the dick, nit! Who are you
such that I specify?
I ask.
- I'm not pointing out a warning about
consequences, - says the fool with the horizon ant. I
worth a lot of effort to
resist and did not immediately fill it
mug. And then I told him calmly
(Ponta do not scare me), and
slowly (make sure he knows) said:
- If you and your buddies are going to beat me, that such
intentions by themselves are ugly as even if none of our over
I did not "subscribe" (which is impossible in principle!), I
and one before you I otpizdite,
break off three or four (maybe more)
your fucking mouth. This is the first.
And secondly, I - punk and I do
fuck!
Then he begins to make excuses
the fact that "at the festival there will be many
representatives of the administration City and sponsors, and if
they see a bird with obscenities and such (!) drawings, it will
no longer give money to conduct Paradox'a. Truly it is said:
the fear of eyes high, and point well. I had
ask:
- What, your corrupt point sensed danger, and the bird
bothers you, as a baby in bed?
And he, splashing its poisonous
saliva, shouting:
- You yourself - Asshole! Sam you're a baby!
There are already I'm starting to get angry.
- Oh, you goddamned parrot! -Say
I told him, and abruptly, with his right hand, her hair on his
head. Dude instantly lost. A
sorry, I still wanted to ask him
as it relates to the word "dick", but
here did not have time. Oh well. Phallic symbol in the form of
old Spectrum joystick in his
ass.
A N. never came. Well, in the mouth
would kiss her! And indeed it
always been so unfeeling. I'll remember
even when the boat "Kursk" sank, I cried, but she does not.
Then declared that we can enter into
Meeting of the festival and all
crowd (200-300 people) moved, under the watchful eye of
security, to the door. Since I am a person of Caucasian
nationality, then I became the object of special attention from
the guards: I searched and checked bag, and even for some
reason felt asshole. And here we are, a little tipsy children
were inside. Facilities completely changed over the past year.
Sat together on soft chairs and waited,
while communicating with Spektrumistami
from other cities. I sat next to
folks from Krasnodar (VTS and
others). Meanwhile Spektrumisty from Rostov (whom I have not
seen), and from other cities ask me new numbers
birds, and I gave them all that
could "nakserit.
And then on the left - as ebanet and
right-as pizdanet! All
jumped in surprise at the
their chairs - a detonated in
stage four Chinese firecrackers.
Why do you need it, I still
I can not understand, well, ordinary
Ponte. And then there was a performance
several people who
lined up to the microphone - and there came, out of nowhere,
dirty, sticky syrup words.
There is such a popular Spectrum omen: a Paradox
starts, so he will pass. And it began with a big Durkee, which
"Breccia" the first speaker,
appeared from the smoke of firecrackers as
features.
- On the whole territory of Russia or in
one city is not a festival like Paradox'u,
he said, and made a wry face smart. I guess dude stuffed
before this psilotsibinovyh mushrooms or pills with pictures,
and can be breathed to the Chinese smoke. What else did he say
it was not easy to understand because buzz and laughter of
participants of the "unique" festival.
The second speaker - Member of City Council, the representative
of the city administration. The fact that he I said do not even
dare to comment, but just give all his "speech":
- One of the paragraphs of my election program was this: in
every school computer. In 2000, year I managed to convince
Putin to importance of this program. I even
resulted in today's Paradox of his son, because He is
interested in computers. Once a journalist asked me how I feel
to the fact that many computer scientists leave to work in the
West? I he replied: "When birds fly away
to the south, because then they come back rested and fed. You
just need to make to our country hands. "
The next speaker, president of the landscaping of the Moon,
congratulated the all starting Paradox'a, read a piece of paper
"Opening word of the participants and guests of the festival on
behalf of the governor of the region and pushed optimistic
speech (... everything will be fine ...)
The next speaker - Rector
Institute of Business and Law
(Sponsor) croaked text in such a clumsy and the dead voice that
it was impossible to understand. It seemed that he had just
been sewn from pieces, like Frankenstein.
And then appeared on the scene leading
Festival, and well into convulsions shouted their greetings,
listing all of the city, arrived
Participants: Moscow, Taganrog, Armavir ... But the list of
cities soon dried and finally leading
said that the demo party Paradox'2002 declared open. And the
ship of fools sailed under full sail, up hill and down dale.
Then declared the registration
Festival participants, and all those who
thought of himself as such, were drawn to
table at which sat a girl-registrar. They were given to all who
call his name-I-O slips to vote, a bunch of advertising
leaflets, posters, etc. It is also giving away a CD with works
of Paradox '99-01, heaped pens with the logo of Paradox and
something else. Of course, I fly
This did not take the rubbish, as
"Zapadlo and dissuaded from this
other Spektrumistov. But this
it was so unexpected that I
did not have time to warn all
danger, and Holy Water Spectrum, I do not at all
enough. Many members of the Z-Club showed a conscious
self-restraint and fortitude and were not take this infection.
But some still succumbed to the temptation:
it was painful to watch as young Spektrumisty, hands, tired of
masturbation, take the confusion and twirl and look at this
kruglyashok brilliant. Well, on dick they need it?! On his dick
just twirl! And while there was registration,
on the screen spinning Amiga and pisyukovye demos.
And then, finally, the first component
ZX AY music. The level of music
This year was much higher than in
past pryamotaki 1912 slaughter
compositions. I, as a musician, listened to them with pleasure.
But ptsshniki and then managed to podosrat us ZX-music
accompanied by a display of vulgar mi-shnyh images with naked
women. Each picture with Titted lyarva caused
Shouts of approval from, apparently, horny, pisyukantsev.
Spektrumisty held staunchly: "... we do not entice tit
tenderloin!"
And for the Amiga Dimon was sitting in the huge headphones,
like an astronaut. Dressed (on the occasion of the festival) in
suit and looked like a groom.
And suddenly announced performance dance group. Here you have
promised striptease! Six-legged, almost naked hos began to jerk
his arms, legs and head to the music, which is constantly
repeated the word "sex". That they just do not get up: and
strewn across the stage and showed the room their asses, and
became "cancer" so that they could see thick-lipped,
shaved pussy, lightly covered with
stripe shorts. And among those six years old girl slut jerk
Seven, painted as a whore. AND
all under one advertising
paging company (sponsor).
About the sponsors should probably
special mention. Our world now
enters a new, yet unnamed constellations. And all the Paradox
passed under one of these constellations. This Constellation
Sponsor. Sponsor invisible tentacles entangled around. Here on
the stage constructed by the Sponsor, are as
Organizers Paradox'a idols. But the sponsor pulls the
thread. Pull! for one thread, and starts leading to render
praise Sponsor, pull! for another - and one
of the organizers ran hang
on the wall advertising sponsor. When
pisyushniki become sponsors of such festivals is just scary.
The second component - petseshnaya pixel graphics. A total of
18 works, but only for the two was clear, that is drawn
(A girl and a dolphin). Then, on
the stage was Representative
company Corel. He had a long and tedious
chtoto mumbled and stuttered, turning in
the hands of multi-colored box, and then suddenly a clear
voice, without hesitation, as if Someone turned on the
recording, issued advertising the 11th version. Then he began
to show and other colored boxes with the programs, praising
each of them. In short, common representative of the Canadian
company.
A constantly scurrying around
fro photographers and videographers to local media.
During a break outside of our drinking
beer, bought in a store
"Across the road, opposite the one of
oldest Spektrumistov Rostov. Former fighter pilot
(Now retired), a solid man, a young solders. I told him
I say:
- What do the young learn, dear,
After all, you officer!
And he says:
- No, let the learning and they
did not take off.
And some of Spektrumistov guess the beer add vodka
so to speak, combine business with pleasure
pleasure.
A little way off pisishniki drinking forfeits
cola and some more nauseating
colored swill, guzzled sneakers,
rice flakes and other filth. All of this carrion clearly
spoiled their stomachs (they are constantly perdeli) and
delayed the development of their brain (you would have seen
them zhruschie faces).
A Zayac left his Oksanku
home and pestered all the girls
in a row - and to our and the PC-shnym.
A Wild (Misha Krysin Brother) drank a cold beer, that he had
cramp cramped jaw, he was terribly klatsat teeth and thus
scared all pisyushnikov.
And one pisyukanets complained that
Hall of smell by shit (there a mental disorder, olfactory
hallucinations). I told him that "you would have mi-Schnick,
was not - and did not smell like. "
I could still have a lot of things to write
about ptsshnikah, but do not want. Well into
ass, bored.
And some left korrespondentsha typical "herring", clung to me
with their foolish questions, poking me in my mouth
fucking microphone. And the only remnants of education is not
allowed I immediately send it to dick. "The
it would puzzle? "-I thought. And so
the next its a stupid question
"Which is better for you computer
(And, looking in the paper), pisi, Amiga
or Spectrum? "I thoughtfully
looking into the distance, say:
- Yes we are all one: what to fuck drag up that fucking pull
off.
She instantly steamed up glasses and
She jumped away from me like a scalded. As required. Thumbsucker
pussy, bringing with her to take!
The following components - the traditional
Music on the PC. It was submitted by 16 works. Say nothing
I can not. Music as music. Pop. A
as they say in Africa, pop it, and
in Russian pop music.
And suddenly the whole room was shrouded in
some sticky mist. "Probably the next special effect" - had I
thought before of all gaps, and especially of the system
mi blocks, climbed the clouds of fleas, cockroaches, beetles
and other small pizdoty. All this mandavoshechnaya
creature rushed at me. I highly lifted feet, and in this posture
jumped on a chair. But this change nimbly climbed on
legs of the chair and got me under
clothing, fumbling in his underpants, running
on the back and strive to get into the ears,
nose and mouth. I began to stomp their feet, pulling at it from
unbuttoned his fly handfuls stirring biomass. But
to do it was not easy, because spider webs started to braid my
hands and feet. And between the rows of chairs were scurrying
beasts bigger: the green dog, striped cat, rat, and colorful
hamsters. "Well, neither his dick!" - I thought, and suddenly I
feel: someone relieves my web. Revealing
eyes and see the familiar vagabond Valera, branded on the
forehead "made in USA ", which tries to set me free. I ask him:
"Valera, and what are you doing here and
as you do, the protection here
missed? "And he said:
"Come on, dude, get up, it is necessary to break
hence the claws. By the way, entertain
ducat! "I pulled out
Yefim trivia, RUR 15, and poured into his dirty palm. Valera
immediately disappeared. And then suddenly collapse with crowd
Fritz Schmeisser and the officer begins to read
death sentence to Bill Gates.
Finished reading, he asks
I:
- Fershteyn? Niht fershteyn?
- Jawohl, dick ofitsier! - Answer
I.
The Germans marched retired.
A behind the scenes someone brutally fuck:
heard screams, moans and sobs. At this time, the screen turns
porno, singing from the speakers Vasya Square, all writhing
around whores and fag, and a leading
standing on the stage and huyachit the bell.
Then he turns to me and
shouting across the room:
- You throw a shadow on the Paradox!!!
- Yes I am now a shadow of yourself
Ouro do I jump up and running
on the scene.
But that was then, though I
kill, do not remember. I only remember
that sounded kind of terrible music that I tried to turn off at
will, and I almost got flashed pictures, any person moving his
lips, but words were not understood. I woke up the next day,
early morning in the cab, "watering" of the machine, traveling
at high speed the empty, early morning streets to the side of
my house and I found myself behind lively conversation with the
driver. As it turned out, after the first
Paradox'a day I went to my work (it's two steps away from
"Titanic") and there was finally "Vystegnulsya. Slept all
afternoon and night, and at 6 o'clock in the morning I stopped
by one of the machines, which watering the streets with water,
and 20 rubles asked to take me home.
End of day.
Second day.
The second day began with a display of huge count Amiga demos
which caused a real sensation
among viewers, especially
ptsshnikov. Generally speaking, the second day
is a bit muddled and
skomkany. Firstly, because,
that time was allowed only
five o'clock - from 12 to 17, and then
all began to drive out of the room, because
night club operates normally
mode. Once completed
awarding ceremony, immediately
same waiters began to run down the hall,
remove chairs, sweeping, etc.
and the poor girl waitresses that make me an ashtray every five
minutes, they began clearing the table glasses, garbage, etc.
Second, because of the universal fatigue: sleepless nights,
nerves, the abundance of information. Too many events per unit
time, and many brains stuck. People, "wedge". Degree overload
demonstrate such cases: Jocker and Klim few nights not
sleeping, to finish their work. Already under morning, after
the third sleepless night, Jocker was pouring coffee at
cup and a sugar bowl. And then he looked out the window and saw
that his Cat sits on the very top of the tree. Thinking about
how kotyara unable to get out of the locked apartment and
climb up a tall tree,
Jocker came closer to the window and
surprised to discover that before
window there are no trees.
One young member of the Z-Club approached me and staring at
me still. I watched him
for a while, and then ask:
- What are you, brother, you look at me
No patterns and colors do not grow?
And he, quietly so, says:
- Do these tapes with a take off.
Then after a few days
Paradox'a after I had
asked about the tapes he had in
mind. And he told me that he came "glitch", though I
was a cover up, as Red Army commander Schors, machine-gun belts.
And generally people are quite sluggish to react to the other
components. On mp3 and does half the room dozing. From the
second day I remember Wild-compo, ZX-demo, and ZX schedule.
Schedule to talk about nothing, only 6 papers, of which
only had a couple of decent. Their
Pictures I did not bring Paradox
for two reasons: firstly, I
was promised that I will not take more than one job with which I
not agree and I disagree
expressed that did not bring all
nothing. Well, no, really, Paradox it's not CC - works
little, so what is dick do not take
I have a 4.3 work? (Well, nothing, any one of your works would
take prize. Ca. naborshitsy)
Secondly, in the morning the first day,
going to the festival, I thought that if not taken
more than one work by the author,
probably the work will be very much
and where too caricatured to me with their vain attempts. But
it's all nonsense, because of these will be published in the
bird or sent to another party.
ZX-demo. Only one job! Demo wow, looks good,
like a salad "Olivier", the ingredients are simple, the result
is excellent. Only here, all these effects have long become
familiar as folds supruzhninoy ass.
Wild - compo. Three works - one
other silly. First I liked just because it is made on the
Spectrum. This piece of video, which pisishnik, dissatisfied
with their PCs Lupit hand on the keyboard and monitor, and then
throws it the most PCs in the window. The second work pisyukovy
film with pretensions to a vanguard: meaningless
flashing footage, stupid music ... All of this seems silly to
me babble, but speaking the standard language-vyebonchik with
nadryvchikom. The third paper showed all present, which
pederasticheskie terrible manners
prevail among pisyukantsev. Flickering series of photographs in
the guy women's shorts, which showed the camera her ass. And
this work is called "Gal." Such work can be fun just perverted
heart. And indeed such creatures are, except that of nehuy do.
On this note, a fun and Paradox
completed. During the counting of votes played a young Rostov
group "Mannequin." Played guys
well, the potential they have, here
only the soloist is too much
"Ponte": antics, spasms, lifting one leg and arm, laceration
microphone stand.
Wild did not wait for election results are announced.
- Yes, I have to work (it works
systems programmer in the computer salon) and a further
blyadki - he spoke in the presence of
his wife. In, pancake, relations with
people! I also decided to follow
his example.
After Paradox'a I was in smithereens
ill, slept for two days in a row and
awoke the 10th day with the thought of
what we need to finally get some sleep.
That's such a sad story, which even have nothing to add style
"When typeset in a room", because to say about Paradox'e
nothing more.
Onan.
(Editors wanted to
awarding him a literary
Award)
