Review: Sinclair A-Bike

Review: Sinclair A-Bike

In a small village near Bremen, in 1846, Gunter Bikemayker stood forlorn in his workshop. Clutching his redundancy notice and divorce papers, he looked at his tools and felt an intense, burning hatred for mankind. It was at this point that Gunter resolved to make the worst bicycle in the world, to punish humanity for wronging him so badly. After a few weeks' work, Gunter stood back and examined his creation.

He called it the "HasseBike". It had square wheels, a spike for a seat, chocolate handlebars, no gears (or drivetrain), and as it moved a mechanical hand poked the rider repeatedly in the kidneys. Gunter succeeded - it was undoubtedly the worst bike the world had ever seen, and it held this record until the 12th July 2006, when the Sinclair A-Bike was unleashed upon the world.

Now, none of that is true, but it hopefully makes a mildly amusing introduction to my experience of the A-bike. I bought mine in 2018, while online and at the thin end of a bottle of wine.

At best I hoped for a fun curio I could ride about, and maybe use for short commutes during busy rail journeys. When the bike arrived, I was impressed by its style and compactness. Folding and unfolding the A-Bike is not intuitive, but once you learn the trick it is quick and easy. So far so good - then I tried riding it. The tiny 6" wheels are made of rock-solid rubber, so everything except a perfectly planar surface is unbearable. And that's the good bit over with, because this bike is PROPERLY unsafe. It's a good job you can't go very fast, because the tiniest pothole will have you upended on the floor. The frame is so small, that anyone of average height and above will look ridiculous on it, and struggle to peddle with bent legs.

However, I was determined to stick with it, because I paid good money for it, and the gearing and brakes do deserve some credit for being well-made. So I took it on a train journey.

I walked a short way to the station with the bike already folded. This is where the A-Bike impresses - it's light to carry and easy to stow on even the busiest train. It was when I alighted to ride it the problems started. I felt frankly ridiculous on this slow, rattly bike. I don't know how much it really stood out, but I was so embarrassed that I was glad it was getting dark. Then the lightest drizzle started, and I found the A-Bike's latest flaw. The slick wheels and tiny frame do not want to balance or go forward when the ground is slightly wet - it wants to go sideways and slam you on your hip. After the second time this happened, I lay on the ground with the drizzle licking my face, and wondered how engineering's answer to SQIJ could ever be deemed fit for sale, and why did I love Sinclair products so much? I had no answer, other than to stand up, fold-up the A-Bike and walk to my destination with it - after all - this bike carries great...