HUMOR
Something rarely goes XA-XAFON, huh? Therefore, at the
request of the workers, we return to "Humor." If there's
something funny - Please send ...
(The text of S. Tsypin
recruited and completed
Gromov BV * RALF *)
HOHMACHI
Sasha woke up in a great mood from
tickling the nose of sunlight, and here,
remembering that today, April 1, quite amused. Ready to laugh
at any time and for any reason, he lived under motto: "The day
spent without the jokes - a lost day."
He jumped out of bed and started charging. Ten times with
each hand lifted a weight-dvuhpudovku and proceeded to jump.
Pyatnadtsatietazhka stopped by shaking as if from a five-point
earthquake. Snorting with pleasure, Sasha doused himself cold
water, and soon was sitting in the kitchen and knead meat,
without which it admitted no breakfast, no lunch or dinner.
He began to joke, barely leaving the threshold of his
apartment. In the elevator he met a neighbor, a pensioner. He
invested his meager savings in the company of ritual Insurance
fico-Trust, and Sasha pleased old news: this company has faced
copper basin. Neighbor got so bad that
he came not on his floor. Sasha went down to the basement and
close the valve.
Neighbor, walk the dog at the door, said that because of
nonpayment of their home water cut off and will not be allowed
until it is completely pay for all tenants.
In the subway, as usual in the morning, well ehalo
a lot of people. Sasha started a rumor that
the train conductor, and people instinctively, fell out at the
next station, and He sat on the empty seat, which was
unusual lot.
At a stop in the bus was so well
difficult to climb. Putting his head in front
door, Sasha loudly declared official
tone, that the machine should be another route. Swearing, the
passengers poured out, he calmly sat down and drove on.
At work he was able to get past
normal, so that he managed to hang on to pass the announcement:
"Due to the difficult financial situation the company a short
time (a year) shut down, the staff shall be granted leave for
their own expense. "Some had long mentally prepared for this,
he immediately turned back from doom, the other bustling,
running around trying to figure out if there are any
exceptions, and some do not plozheno whether any benefits.
But it was just the beginning ...
Seizing the moment, when the corridor was deserted, Sasha
pulled out of the closet and hoisted to its place a portrait of
Lenin and the plate "Party Committee". No need to explain what
a stir there was among the former members who rushed home for
concealed party card with the profile of the leader, figuring
in the mind what amount of contributions due for the missed
deadline.
Continuing the fun, joker scored
Room glavbuhshi - ostensibly obltopa - and issued: on April
first half increased the electricity tariff, the difference is
calculated for the last three years, and avoid penalties, you
should immediately repay the debt. He measured was scare and
its director about his personal account in one of Western
banks, but in time he remembered that he had already taken the
day before yesterday to soon, after joking about his car, and
the new has not wanted to bring to white heat.
"What I am humane" - thought Sasha.
During the break, he went out and visited by
the nearest grocery store, where rumor,
that from tomorrow drastically rise in price
products, though not all, but only meat,
milk and flour, and vegetables. Bypassing
exchange, tossed casually about impending jump in the dollar.
On the way home, met the chief, being at the hospital after a
heart attack, the walking with measured steps.
- Whom do I see? Vladislav Mikhailovich! - Glad Sasha. - And
I thought you already all kranty.
- As you can see, oklemalsya. Hopefully soon
go out.
- And what happened to you? You have so hastily taken away,
that no one understood what case.
- Why, then phoned someone and said,
What about my car wheels removed. I ran - and accurately, but
also a door from a CD player dragged. Well, in general, and
all. And what about us?
- Do not worry, Vladislav Mikhailovich. What happened to you
that without you. At your place, then who is the Officer?
Kosolapov? Yes, he sat tight, as it was born. Oh, My God, what
is this you? .. Hey, people do not see - the man is bad. An
ambulance would be summoned, or something.
"Yes, - thought Sasha. - If I had not called him, maybe just
a car stolen Would? ".
Upon entering the apartment, Sasha stumbled on a mountain of
bags stuffed with victuals. The remaining area was filled
basins and pans with water.
- Say, the products become more expensive, so I
stocked than I could. So that the house now or spears - met his
wife. - Take a bucket and a dui to the column: Go on to fill a
bath.
Sasha laughed and pointed to the calendar.
With a taste of supper, he sat down in front of TV
Watch April Fool's program. Watched with pleasure, quickly
responding to each, even Nemudrenye Hochma, then lay down sleep
with a sense of good reason lived day.
The next morning he woke up and found ... Water - neither hot
nor cold - there is not only in their home, but throughout the
neighborhood. Half of the bus route is canceled, and the other
half does not match their routes. Prices jumped up out of reach
for mere mortals features. Because the new electricity tariff
to the company firmly aground, and therefore the staff sent on
leave at his own expense indefinitely. Including, of course,
and Sasha himself.
And wag realized that there is much hohmachi
steeper than him. "Never mind, soon be Friday - thirteen.
That's when I poshuchu!" - Sasha thought, and smiled gently,
innocent smile ...
P.S. Distribution of this product allowed the Ministry of
Health, and the author is welcome. (If conditions remain the
copyright!)
