There once was a programmer ...
It will be scary, very scary tale!
There once was a programmer ... Roughly the same, like everyone
else programmers. And he went one day to my grandmother (for
pies, probably). A grandmother it just was linked to the
Sicilian Mafia selling pies at a furious prices. I must tell you
that in a country where he lived, worked and studied (as
commanded great ...), Our programmer, pies represented
something like heroin for the people, valerian drops for cats
and new, just stuffy due to the mound for software programmers.
Therefore, to get them was difficult and sometimes impossible.
Therefore, those programmers who have had grandmothers, were
considered lucky.
[End of part one, to be continued]
[Titles]
[The room is lit light]
And let's begin the second chapter is: "There once was a
programmer ..."
There once was a programmer ...
Did such things happen? Is not that ...
So, the programmer still alive.
Now he deside to go to the black market and buy PC (He was a
Soviet programmer).
Long or a short, but he still came to the market. I looked
around and already zakruchinilsya - stand around bad
cooperators, keep komputery - but not so easy to make ... And
for the Rouble not give. And only of currencies. So he went to
look for that currency. Shel-walking, watching stands an old
tree stump. A stump is about my grandfather ...
Staaaaary. The old hell. Old grandfather?
Hmm. Same here, kids, lay one Old chuhalnik, but in two
pocapyval holes. A poboku thereof from Chmyrev EVOH coat cebe
valyalcya. And from under his coat entogo something c from
England nadpicyami vydavalocya ... I looked at our programmer
vce four The Parties to - little people cvoimi affairs mayutcya
who buy, who pre-sold on by the parties to sort nihto not zyrit
... Did so, and mecto a secluded - cboku carayushka prilepilac,
c else - kucty neprolaznyya, cperedu cesspool untrodden and
czadu puctyr and anyone. Well, pochecal programmer turnip
pozyrkal to by the parties - and shact to toe ... Lifted and
looked - it kracavitsa! With the muzzle - VGA cploshnaya,
poboku Signet very broad width, so a 25 needle prilepilacya
inside megabytes cchitaetsya not perecchitat ... Lepota, and
only! A chuhalnik vce cebe pocapyvaet ... Well, started Our
programmer from kracoty such neopicannoy - and grabbed machine,
then in his arms! And well, his legs vctavlyat!
That's right, kiddies ... You pocmotrite ckazhete yes - they
say that this bad your programmer, to steal, they say, is not
good ... Nevertheless, yes, kiddies, but it what to do-that?
Tom Dedkov loss - a piece of cake, he enti komputery Hundreds
of daily trades, and programmer for the poor soul yes work igde
machine fuck? A and nowhere ...
Did okay, let's go further ... Povctavlyal programmer feet, ran
in that neither the Most ect lec deaf pritomilcya. Sat on a
stump, komputer poctavil (and as soon as it is its SUPER! thing
is not How many heavier How many boxes for many racpihannaya
and through what nocilno uncomfortable) ... Sits utiraetcya,
Duma thinks - that do? But who is to blame? And then, as luck
would have, Wolf on clearing a entu vypercya, infection! Yes no
procto Wolf, and ranks so when Straps, govorilka on the belt,
but gun at his side ... Behind vypercya, Programmer our cidit
cebe, otduvaetcya, Wolf, and see no ... The wolf looked up -
way programmer cidit! And komputer, precious thing, with it.
And what, Wolf thinks it in the backwoods of such c
tsennoctyami cidit, the people at cmertoubiyctvo ickushaet? And
no other - Poper Programmer machine and hide namylilci! Well, I
think Wolf, schac I it, infection, grohnu, so people do not
coblaznyal! A typewriter cebe printout, for non-pecuniary
damage. Wolf decided to do so, and Poper cebe belly over bumps
- closer podbiratcya.
A programmer in the meantime otdyshalcya - and so he zahoteloc
komputer in a try! Tokmo for entogo outlet needs.
He looked around - the backwoods, sockets can not see ... A
wolf here already covcem podobralcya only leg stretch, cidit
under kuctom, schac jump ... A programmer vce outlet is looking
for - well, unbearable to him! AND then he looked at kuct -
Hacha! - Two holes! Obradovalcya programmer but how pyrnet
Wolf's nostrils plug cilovuyu ... Wolf already zakoldobilo, the
fork is not the couple covkovckim on evroctandartu set as ...
Wolf pulled out from under kucta c muzzle ctrashnoy, tecak
vytyschil - and the programmer. And octatcya programmer in a
dark lecu breathe, would score his wolf, but his cchacte at the
cekund of the machine uzhacno malicious viruc-dickkiller Fresh
Air breath came out. Got out, then you look - Wolf c programmers
next topchutcya. I looked closer - and the wolf from the cable
Projectors nostrils sticking out! Oh, you bastard, thought
dickkiller under device kocish? And shmyaknul heartily wolf
Balde, that already perekoco $ # 'locally. After that Volkova's
head before dickkillerom when Control dial it at once GB
rezonancom raznocil. Well, prinyalcya dickkiller for Wolf back
to back, and programmer no fool a fool, caught typewriter in
his arms and legs well vctavlyat! Good it familiar ...
In under three screens naplel ... It's time to go drink some
beer ...
For example, drank a beer, you can continue to read ...
Mean lomanulcya our programmer through lec / thicket where the
peepers cmotryut ... Run, run, speed with the latest of-forces
vybilcya in kucty down, rest, mean ... Respiration took, the
face of kuctov vycunul okrect oglyadyvetcya, scary. Look -
chalet on kurnogah vidneetcya, smoke from a chimney on the roof
aerial cable Télévision yes laid ... Well, thinking programmer
once televizer ect in hozyayctve, and still komputer
podcobachit can be. Looked more just once on by the parties -
and popercya entoy to the hut. Rolled, for shact door handle -
a cottage he chelovecheckim golocom: a. Tell me ka-you my dear,
user name cvoe? A The record of the left paw of his grasp.
Well, programmer thinks, covcem gone, he clyhival of such
excess, BBSby private prozyvayutcya, in the people about them a
lot of things Gutara. Said - the name cprocit, ecli three times
a otvetctvuesh, which eynom cpicke not znachitcya - at the
moment unscrews his head! And guess ecli imechko - so it was
infection, The word propucknoe require. Identically three
times. Do not guess - zatopchet. Well, too ecli guess - then
inside propuctit, and there gryat, paradise-clear to
programmers, cofta different in the corners bulk - do not want
to take it!
Vcpomnil UTB vce Programmer our hapless and BBSba Timer
click yes claws ckrebet ... Thinking, thinking programmer, vec
Then came forth - vcpomnil name magic / cekretnoe, in a tavern
on the touring programmer cictemnogo from distant Jurisdictions
clyshannoe! Sycop said, I'm your host, you ckotina
clepoglazaya! BBSba on perekocilac other side, turned it into
the leg and even cprashivaet - but if you say, boss, my
darling, so if you please, and password'ik otvetctvovat, three
popytochki, and do not answer - no obeccud, many here vcyakih
shlyaetcya ...
Vzmok programmer at once - do-what? Pocmotrel on vyvecku
cverhu BBSby - there napicano, Mol, Alan BBSba number there
adrec racpolozheniya - a city so the house number ... And
podumaloc Programmer - but if I really camom cycopom been? Yes
c big beer drinking to cebe vozvraschalcya? But how can I BBSba
paw cvoey uhvatala, and I imechko something cvoe remember
ishsho - The word and the input nackvoz forgot? And I die a
cruel zdecya ages, at camom threshold? No, the programmer has
decided on a password The case of a nocom ickat wanted, no
stranger dopetrit and cycop and in the face with a drunken
vcpomnit! I looked at it once ishsho vyvecku - Alan say,
Zelenograd supposedly korpuc 1205 ... Well, think long
Alanzelenograd reprimand to be drunk, but Alan1205 procto and
5021nala - in the Most times! Sigh zazhmurilcya - 5021nala,
says!
A BBSba him - go, my dear master, no beer again dine
pleased, vce parolik vcpominali, head mayalic, but
pass raccolchiku icpit, and I really dokladets cgotovila - who
was yes he did, so here's another echo new cmeshnaya, you is
not reading came uzho pocmeetec, rested ... And the door
Programmer nezhnenko so promotes. And at the entrance kreclitse
pushed, ucadila, komputer in ctoronochke neatly poklala - c
nothing new thing, says he, the owner came to the house uce
voloket - kreclitse in Tables c remote control mostly rolled,
poboku other Tables jiffy cobrala - eat there, coffee icpit,
cigarety zabugorckie dragged ... Commanded, says he, you're my
cycop dragotsennny, I'm ready ... A programmer her ocmelevshi -
zatknic, Old! Rest / razvlekatcya will! And to the board the
same moment potyanulcya ... (They are programmers, uce such, do
not feed them bread - give the new typewriter keys popihat ...)
And on that we octanovku Let's make - ckol so without rozdyhu
trepemcya!
Phew ... Uctal I c your tongue grind without rozdyhu something
... Schac here popyu beer, a smoke ...
Still okay - ucelcya hence our programmer for the Most major
Remote BBSby. Doc cekretny reads the podium ocvaivaetcya -
pleasure to pocmotret ... But suddenly cebya forehead ka-ak
moves - and komputer something EVOH, Fresh / in case not tried,
in vain postal proctaivaet!? Soft picat nada! Well, it's
familiar, komputer cobral / established and the team he camuyu
that on a global ect asked - write, says he, vce row until
mecta enough! A komputer, the entire team of well-known
expression in the capable hands of thing poclushno /
icpolnitelnaya yes helluva lot of hard-working, here and he
went down in a row vec coft opicyvat that on the corner BBSby
ponalozhen was ... The very rustling vovcyu, lamp winks, saying
here I am, truzhuc / injected into vce blades ...
A programmer in order to study the matter BBSbu cnutrya Steels,
deal him new Wondered ... Ocvaivatcya Steels too slowly, the
time and komputer LAST crumbs cofta on cuceka podckrebat
Steels, when programmer looked at the window screen, and there
meng steep straight course to the entrance podvalivaet! Well, I
think programmer, he schac BBSba broke Intermedia morgalok for
nagloct nactyrnuyu! A Man, infection, suitable for cebe BBSbe
and gets it unexpected - I, says he, cycop, my password
5021nala, opened the Come on, old hag! Have realized there
Programmer that it was time dud greyhound cmatyvat kuctami yes
and let's gait three krecta komputer cvoy, coftom
obozhravshiycya back pack!
Meanwhile BBSba already poperhnulac from The word cycopa
latter-day and let's squeal - BUZY-BUZY, they say, depart,
nechictaya break-open, any such cycop-pycop, it has long been
home, things truditcya, let's get out, goct uninvited, otkelya
come! And then on vlomlyu Hare brazen, you'll know how
camozvannichat! A cycop from The word entih ckochevryazhilcya
and grit - that you, ckotina nekompilirovannaya, henbane
obelacya? As the so-BUZY-BUZY?! Once both houses? I have those
crud / roach, password and imyachko File Type? Open the gates,
and then alive in Repack the archive! A BBSba podpuctila cycopa
closer and even broke from Soul HANGUP'om curves Intermedia
horns! He and rolled in ctoronku ... Saw vce ethno our clever
programmer, and podumaloc pit - and Mozhayev and cvalivat
pokudova otcelya? Sycop evil helluva lot, according to kuctam
around shactaet, God forbid interception - komputer take away,
so even with the entire team coftom, won a bull vymahal ... Not
better to be tutochki otcidetcya for help as he does not
namylitcya - then and claws to pull? But as long as programmer
thinking, sysop, infection, to the window side netmail'ovomu
Yes crept through a crack / FDServer whispered to his dogs
chained, del'am da leader Hdel'u their language, that they
should at this moment all of the BBSby povychistili ... And
there climbed from all cracks del'y these okoyannye, and the
front itself Xdel, face a brutal, with the parameter black
sorcery (*.* - not whether people will remember the night)!
Tight here programmer had our swift-footed. Barely had time
komputer in his arms to catch so by a pack of villainous slip
... C porch ran away - and there sysop waiting / waiting ...
But the programmer Our guy does not miss, drukarku not
withheld, warmed by sysopa Her head and in the bushes strekocha
asked!
Buried in the bushes, caught his breath a little, look, that
further followed by ... Sysop beside porch Pomaia-ppomayalsya,
depart became ... Woke up finally, a word-selective skkazal -
and let BBSba his mouth ... Recollected our programmer wind out
of here podalee, when he heard a cry advertised throughout the
countryside! That means until sysop Golovenko have suffered
from the porch, a pack of something EVOH, with parameter black
programmer did not find, all the software thoroughly devoured!
Oh, and yelling as sysop that your pig nedorezannaya all
software somewhere on their favorite distressed ... AND it
serves him right, meanie damn! there was nothing on diskette
archive save!
Truly it is said - not a swarm of another hole!
Thought, so our clever programmer, picked up the komputer and
in the path / road to his house empty ...
Phew ... And what then happened to him, about how we continue
to guide them, kurnut must ...
"Well, I swing with you, too dark, will soon come event
message of the field kick ... Anyway, poraskazhu ishsho
little ...
Well, our programmer went on the road to the house of EVOH
leading here and the moon peeped out (I must say, until he BBSbe
He got, too night has come), cleared in the county ... It is,
Sure thing, under the moon at night along the high road ittit
far as to Health polzitelnee, but you see it at night, the road
turn, meylovy hour has arrived, as announced by the message of
the bars, the eyes vypychat all want to reach as quickly as
possible ... Zashibut ... Crash'i vaschsche over the heads of
the bars ... And then ishsho happens - the owner of an
unreasonable in his stall enclosure raskormit gabarytov
obscene, and yet crash on his neck, sit down - and vypuskaet
... And rushing beast a sort of beefy on the way, everything in
its path trample strives to ... But already traffic-how
korezhit, the killing is one ... No order for the mind to do so
enclosure break something on a handful of pomenee yes miss
during quiet ... Yes, and that there long rassusolivat,
different hosts some popadayutsya ...
Same here, went to our programmer beaten track, komputer drags,
yes all on the side strives to - well, as shot down and not
notice? AND komputer potopchut, and most sides mangled ... And
then crawls on road with tropochki stray skinny message of such
hilenky on first Poglyad and no status at all ... But tokmo at
first, because had the message of status, the status secret
Rogue yes, kill be nicknamed. Is attached to this form goner
for Attachments fatter, prokovyrivaet hole in the package - and
tyrit on the move all the luggage! In Attachments something one
thought in mind - reach quickly, before he remembered that the
cargo pokrali, kill-it far has to be ...
So this was from takovskih.
Wow, very tongue fall off Wait ...
Okay, then tell budyam ...
Chose was listed frigging kill yourself fatter enclosure, rear
get a job has become ... Villainous his robbery accomplishes
... Yes on he spotted trouble Programmer our glazastenky
maneuvers EVOH Yes, and realized what was happening ... And he
fell in his tail. And tokmo kill nasty claw their skukozhennuyu
a stranger offered good as he slammed on his paw programmer
drukarkoy in battle tested! Paw-and shrumkalasya ... Squealed
kill trash, ran away, but with a fright into the oncoming lane
left, There's something an end and come ... But enclosure,
programmers saved on roadside Srul, braked in front of there
and let programmers in acknowledgments speak ... For the night
so dinner in paragraph zazval his destination, saying there
helluva lot of hospitable host, the zagorbok himself seated and
even ran with all his ...
That's how it byvaet - do not get caught this kill malicious
long would More programmer feet a squab to the house would have
... Like so yeah not so, since the incident turned out not near
as the long road ...
Oh! Does mail event struck? That's right! Rinky-dink with you -
message of roaring heard from here! Escape is released back -
doskazhu!
Phew, managed to barely! Give a sip of beer, a dry throat ...
Oh, good beer overseas, Tuborg prozyvaetsya other day message of
Pribluda with three drawers ...
Well, domchal enclosure programmer, owner of heroic
exploit all povyskazal - surprised the host, in the inn
zazval, seated at the table, began to regale yes to question ...
He told his master programmer without reserve all their
incident - zelo porazhalsi owner! So all of a startled and took
Programmer laid to rest. And the bad service rendered a
The master programmer infestation so forgetful! For in
thoughtfully laid to sleep, he Programmer OUT-directory, and
barely slept programmer bedtime strong oposlya works righteous,
as pinned in entu most directory of mail-robot tupovatenky yes
and packed all content (for it is said he was - *.*) in the
solid ZIP and even send the entire package on a sturdy
enclosure at the edge chuzhedalnye ...
Verily I say unto you - be afraid *.*!
That's it. Woke up our programmer, you look - and the place-and
unknown at all, circle hold message of lying, a mess, no
a living soul ... Somehow from ZIP'a got, got, komputer
its picked up, fumbled around - found a bag with sturdy
shoulder straps, rukzak be nicknamed, Zatar it komputer - and
went to his out ... On the way out, and saw a column verstovoy
/ index, looked at the labels - and zakruchinilsya ... Because
it skidded to the edge distant, unexplored, and yesterday
evening he was a stone's throw from his house ... But nothing
to do, under a still file bytes are not teket, he started the
journey arduous ...
And it was way too heavy and full of exploits yes
accomplishments, but this separate tale must say ... It will
tell about the little things. He met on the road as a message
of small, sirotinushku by the road disappeared. And he picked
it warmed / foods, and became the message of one of his most
faithful servant. For a message of samurai / kamikaze and could
serve as sparing the stomach of his ... And there was a message
of small cargo a secret - a terrible bomb / destructive, angry
vorog Kowa Lion suprotiv Vladimir the Red Sun sends the message
of greetings in the guise of friendship. And was message of a
small devoted body and soul, our programmer suffering, and
revealed to him the secret of his burden. And he said
programmer, a bomb this very beholding - this terrible thing!
And it will be better throw it in a remote corner so undermine
- because a lot of evil to cause can ... And they decided to do
so, and walked away from the road carriageway in gluhomanny
angle. But it so happened that runs through their path near Wow
Olkina lair, bandits known to all so bloody. AND When he heard
he speeches of their negligence in the darkness of night, and
he zlomyslil villainous attack on the pilgrims of peace. Wow
jumped Olkin due angle in the middle of trails, fall vicious
razzyavil ... Worth, bludgeon poigryvaet, his hair svivaet /
razvivaet yes uttered speech nasty, scary ... Like, let's,
traveler, here with a sack good - maybe still alive ...
Storopel here was a programmer our sights on this
straholyudnogo but true message of the sleeve it pulled da bomb
slipped. Usmehnelsya our programmer undaunted, white ruchenkoy
waved - and vpendyuril entu bomb into the jaws gaping Olkina
Wow! Wow Olkin, crud / roach, jaws of some of the greed and
snapped - then that bomb and the @ # $ 'la! Ah, itit your left,
blown to pieces Oh Olkina on zakoulochkam! AND have not heard
from that time no one on entom robber ... And travelers ours
veshchichki gathered back into the path / road empty ...
So, ogloedy! Such are the heroes that lived in the old days!
And you only the message of the tails to wind a lot!
*** End (tale) ***
