Jokes, with ...
(R) DeL
° ° ° ° °
Led by two Chukchi in the woods. One drags a column, and the
other telephone booth. One another and asks:
- What do you booth talking about?
- However, if the wolves will attack, I'll hide it. And why do
you column?
- However, if the wolves will attack, I'll throw it and it
would be easier run!
° ° ° ° °
Stirlitz tried to escape from pursuing his SS men, put his hand
in pocket. "This is the end" - thought the valiant scout ...
Voiceover: "This really was the end - Stirlitz wore
pistol in the other pocket! .. "
° ° ° ° °
Lieutenant Rzhevskii rides on the train. On the bottom shelf
hear the conversation: - You know, dear, never put your eggs
in silver - it's from This dims.
"Live - and learn" - muttered Rzhevskii, shifting
silver cigarette case from his pocket in his jacket ...
° ° ° ° °
Form:
Do you have a criminal record? - No
Were there any relatives abroad? - No
Have you had any mental illness? - No
Nationality? - Yes ...
° ° ° ° °
Telephone call:
- Can I Rabinovich?
- What you - older or younger?
- Elder.
- They both died ...
° ° ° ° °
Congress of janitors from around the city. Noise, discuss social
questions. On the podium goes Uncle Vasya. All were silent:
Uncle Vasya quiet, uncle Vasya.
Uncle Bob:
- Well, if # n # # b # # # # p - the hell with him for x #
d! - That's right, Uncle Vasya: without gloves will not
work!
° ° ° ° °
Teacher - the teacher:
- Well, the class I fell stupid! Explained by the theory - do
not understand. Explain the second time. They do not
understand! The third time, explain. Himself already
understood. And they do not understand ...
° ° ° ° °
Attending a lecture about the dangers of alcohol.
- We know a lot of cases - said the lecturer, - when his wife
leaves from her husband who drinks ...
A voice from the audience:
- And how to do this drink?
° ° ° ° °
At the bus stop - a pensioner and a boy. Retired:
- Aptchee!
- Stay healthy!
- Thank you.
- Please.
- Not worth it.
- What do you mean ...
- Do not get smart!
- Fuck you! ..
° ° ° ° °
Ensign paced front of the ranks of recruits:
- Remember, above all in the army - is the discipline, work,
study! Voice of the standing assents:
- Right! Learn, learn and learn!
Ensign:
- Who said that?
- Classic!
- Classic, out of standing up! Two outfits out of turn for the
chatter.
° ° ° ° °
- What is the exam?
- This is a conversation between two smart people.
- And if one of them stupid?
- Then the other is deprived of scholarships ...
° ° ° ° °
Runs along the corridor happy student. One of the doors of peace
talking three teachers. Student hurt one of them and not
seeing this, runs on.
Professor:
- Fellow students!
He stops and looks guiltily at the floor.
- Be, please be careful. We are here discussing a
problem whose solution would be to turn all our lives!
And you knocked me to thinking.
- Sorry, Comrade Professor ... I ... honestly ... not
like ... ... I accidentally, inadvertently ... I will not ...
- Okay, go. And next time do not run.
Rotated.
- The chem I stopped there? And, then, I threw ee feet
on his shoulders ...
° ° ° ° °
Student comes into the dining room fits the queue, extends
money.
- Two sausages.
Queue:
- Zhiruet!
- And eighteen forks, please.
