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WHY IS YOUR CHOICE-BEST
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(R) MDF HACKER
CHAPTER 1.
Dear girls and women that you've decided to marry a programmer
You made the right choice, indicating the presence of you
sharp mind and delicate taste. Try to justify this apparent
thought a few examples.
1. Programmer combines the best features of a person with Down
syndrome and sea captains. Every evening (except for nights
when he intelligently to communicate with other programmers),
it houses the computer, but at the same time, his thoughts far
away.
2. If he came home in a while you communicate with his or
a stranger, without a difference) lover, suffice it to say:
"Honey, it's my colleague. He knows nothing about computers.
"The only inconvenience you have experienced, is that the lover
will offer next time you meet him.
3. If you suddenly want to smoke or drink, he will not be
reported This ban, as he does so consistently.
4. It will never irritate you that when you are tired,
cook dinner, he lay on the couch, staring at a newspaper or
televizor.Programmist knows his place is better than any
trained dogs. LSA computer.
5. You will never have to wonder what to give him a holiday ..
In any event it will be insanely happy simple box Floppies his
beloved company.
6. You do not have tormented the evening on what to cook
him for dinner. Programmers are omnivorous.
CHAPTER 2.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR DREAM
If your partner passed all your test on the usefulness of
(Some of the tests are given in the next chapter, we get
it will be easier than ever .. But we dare to give you some
advice.
1. Having come to see him ask him to show you its archive ...
If he has less than 128 floppy disks, it is still too young for
marriage. If the disk had over 512, then it is either married
or already divorced. (Rule operates in geometric
progressii.Vladelets 1024 Floppies can be divorced twice, and
the owner 3zhdy 2048). If he You will show your streamer device
(that), then, in principle, to He can hunt, but know that
onmazhor .. Well, if he will mumble that his archives have
devoured viruses, gophers or moles, or say that his archive at
work, carefully read the following items _OCHEN_ chapter.
2. Find out when the mail-time at his favorite bibieskah. Then
you do not will be tormented on why he did not call time. You
always 'll know when he will call you (usually five o'clock in
the morning) ... and it will not be offended by you for your
children's resentment.
3. Night before his marriage unplug mikrorayon.Nichego terrible
no matter if he was at a wedding would be mrachen.Glavnoeon at
the wedding.
4. Try to spend their honeymoon in a place where there is no
elektropitanie.I try then do not be sad all my life,
remembering that month.
CHAPTER 3.
HOW TO DISTINGUISH Fakes
In recent years, the Chinese underground pirate firms produce
a lot of imitations of our products ... Some of these fakes
do not even have any visible external defects, and have a
normal section the eyes and quite systematic red eyes and nose
... Without revealing all the secrets of our firm will describe
a few tests to differentiate our product from the fake.
1. Girls without complexes can take a test for rejection of the
most serious poddelok.Poprosite man who claims that he was a
programmer, to show you your pisyuk. If he shows you something
different from the PC, can give him and podschechinu drive away.
2. Being alone with a verifiable uttered the phrase: "Mother
dear! "Or" native mother "." This programmer immediately say:
"Where? .. "And starts looking around in search of the board.
3. Invite your chosen somewhere where there is a computer
and put it next to a computer diskette. If the disk does not
prove directly in the drive or a pocket for your partner, or if
he even do not ask that on this floppy, it's fake.
4. In the worst possible moment ask him a question like:
"Yesterday And Hai disketaeto good or bad? "Or" My dear, to
you do if you were given Frack? ". This programmer
answers to such questions in any state.
5. If the answer to your phrase: "Honey, I want you to remember
my whole life! "he dragged you are not in bed, but to
skanerueto real programmer.
6. Somehow, being alone with him, ask him where something
scrawled on the floor of the three memory bukvint. If he wrote
INT-it systems analyst, if you write intprikladnik, And if you
ask: "Have You are the initials? "chase away.
CHAPTER 4.
INSTRUCTIONS
Recent study from scientists, the fact that programmistynatury
creative. Therefore, they are tender, thin-skinned, and to
treat They must be very careful .. Otherwise, you can ruin our
product, or be beaten itself, or may be dissolution of the Union
(Family, rather than the republics).
1. Never put your interests ahead of his interests. If
Do you want a mink coat, and he's going with the money to buy
expensive peripherals, it is not ustaivayte skandalovon
poddastsya.Luchshe not say: "Honey, let me buy a coat, and then
I'll put this coat and you'll do with my wonderful SIFCO!
2. Census programmer show Dendy, but the hands do not let
He just gets better, but do not let him break it to you Dendy-
more useful the next time.
3. Try to learn it yazyk.Naprimer, in programming, the phrase
"Are you ohrenel at his computer. How long can you wait in bed?
"sounds like:" You break that does not react now, I'm in bed
IRQ0 whole system will hang! "
4. If it works, try not to include both in one
rosette iron, electric kettle, plates, tongs, TV, washing
machine, etc. The programmer, unpreserved its program , Is
_STRASHEN_!
5. Try to memorize the sound konnekta (or, if your husband
sysop, then call sysop for spruce). It may be useful to you in
many situations. For example, the husband comes into the
kitchen and requires eat, but dinner is not gotov.Prosvistite
this magical musical phrase and you'll be pleasantly surprised
at how quickly it will disappear from the kitchen rushed to my
computer.
Text by Leo V. Mironoff
