(C) Player 2000 year
A N E K R O T S P a e t a
Ivan, having decided to buy a car, finds that money is not
enough. In the evening, said ruefully to his wife about it.
-Not rasstraivaysya, "she comforted him.
-I have in the account of fifty thousand rubles.
-Fifty? "How kind of money, Len?
-I put out every time we're making love,
50 rubles.
-Lord, "said the astonished husband,
-If I knew about this before, I would have long ago quit his
job and you took up in earnest.
*
Came the conductor domoy.Tsely day washed, cooked ... And, of
course, ustala.Vecherom asleep, and her husband began to stroke
and: "Come on!"
She dreamed:
"Wait, wait, now the train will begin to move, then ..."
*
Man comes home, and his wife:
-Bought bread?
-This is not a male thing!
"Well, then do it man!
-Are you kidding did not you understand? Let's bag.
*
One woman tells another:
-How to hang clothes, rain is always wet.
-From this is a sure remedy. I wake up in the morning, look
under odeyalo.Esli member of the husband is
left-to-dozhd.Napravo not. "And if a member of it?
-Dura! Who on such holidays wipes?
*
Husband asks his wife to remove a wart on their private parts.
-What hinders?
No, just all my friends laugh.
*
Jealous husband complained to a friend:
-I can not get to the end of follow up his wife. Yesterday
comes with friend to our house, I silently behind them. Rose in
apartment, I climbed a tree naprotiv.Smotryu, all decent, sit,
dinner. And then the lights went out, nothing is visible.
Again, damn suspense!
*
A guy invites a girl to dance:
-Girl, you can be?
-You can, but first dance.
*
The girl asks, "pitching", looking at him with admiration:
-What kind of weight you interested?
One-hundred-kg without small.
-Well, with a small-how many?
*
Honey-edition "My husband is constantly pestering me and the
aisle is not That gives ... ... and now ... sorry ... for ...
clumsy handwriting.
*
-And remember, my grandmother teaches her granddaughter:
-Every woman in my life should be only one great love.
-Who was yours?
-Mariners!
*
In one of the Caucasian campuses holiday. Dancing people. K
one pair fits a man and a gentleman said:
-Jig, allow your beauty on the dance invite.
-No!
Thy-queen ...
-No!
She is taken aback:
-Why do you refer to it. I myself can not decide!
-You shut up, shit, when two brave talk!
*
Boy and girl making love in a car. In the glass tapping
element:
-What do we do?
Trahan his girlfriend.
-Well, I'm next.
-I like it, I've never fucked a cop ...
*
A man returned from a trip ahead of time, looking into the
keyhole well and sees his wife in bed hugging a hefty "kachok"
And when he hears how his wife asks verzily:
-Tell me, what would you do if you come here now is my husband.
"Yes, I would have beat him to death, otsadil in the ass to a
cruel and threw out the window, bitch!
Hearing this, her husband rushed to the stairs, whispering:
But x-.. you .. x you, I am still on a mission!
*
Appointed a new boss in the firm. Causes secretary, looked and
says:
-Bangs at 2 cm taller, and her skirt is 3 cm koroche!
A nipple breasts salt do you want?
-Why?
Well, just in case you want to beer!
*
-You promised to marry me!
-Never mind what I promised you!
*
Bought the old overshoes, wrapped not in that. Went to the
pharmacy, asked for a box of condoms she had been given. Side
the inscription:
"1000
pcs." Riding the bus, youth laughs: "How much to you, granny,
that's enough this box? "
"How my grandfather Shuffle, if only for a week was enough ...
*
The clinic turn to a gynecologist. Suitable man and asks,
-Who is the last?
-You know, it turn to a gynecologist.
Yes, yes, I know.
"But it ... Female doctor!
-Tell, and he puts a spiral?
Yes, of course, he said.
-So, he shoots!
*
One doctor has boasted that the composition of urine detect any
disease. And his neighbor is suffering from a nagging blisters
on his hands, was angry at doctors and decided to make fun of
vrachom.Nalil urine in a bottle wives, daughters, his, dog,
added sperm and carried. The next day doctor says:
-My daughter is pregnant, the wife of chlamydia, sick dog
distemper in the early stage, and you, if you do not
masturbate to quit, corn will not go!
*
NOW finally, some old hits PERSONAL FROM MY MEMORY:
To the doctor-patient psychiatrist comes and says:
-Doctor, every night I dream that I was pushing the train via
Moscow on the morning of Bologoe.K forces do not get to work.
Doctor prescribed sleeping pills, but after a couple of days,
crazy at it: A doctor, it's just flour! Sleepy, but cars do not
stop, until dotolkaesh.
The doctor thought a moment and says:
-Okay, let me take you pomogu.Vy push to Moscow, and there too I
to Bologoe dopru himself.
A week later the patient comes to a happy and thanks:
-Thanks, now I have time to two dotolkat to Moscow, there
grab you, but I fell asleep, and in the morning to work as a
cucumber! Comes next.
- Doctor, to me every night, come 5 women. Hugs, me
caress, love, and by morning I can not get out - for them to
work. All forces have given them.
-Do not worry, drinketh tabletochki, pass!
After a week of crazy complains:
-Well, hell! I want to sleep, but they do not help!
-Okay, okay! "Imagine that you are only three women and two
turns to me.
A doctor, or maybe better than three to you, but two to me?
X's .. on .. x ! I still have cars to push Bologoe!
*
The clinic at the office venereologist sad sitting wolf, fox,
medved.Po corridor is a hare:
-Hi, "tripaki!
-Hello, Bunny! Yes, paying the price for his stupidity, and you
that here?
-I glaznomu.Kak to piss, so your eyes on the forehead climb!
*
Attending a lecture at the institute. Suddenly in the audience
bursts into student torn jacket and shouted:
-Guys! There with our fag fight!
Professor:
-How was it ours?
-I do not know yours, but we still hold on!
*
The old woman badly lives with his grandfather in the morning
and says in spite of such a dream -A dream to me, grandfather,
meschok waveguide with gifts, but instead of gifts h.i.Takie
young, standing, already ringing! "Well, my out there hoo rang?
-No, your bag was tied.
The next morning the woman's grandfather says:
-Oh, the old, that I had a dream! Miracle!
-Oh, Grandpa, tell us!
-I dreamed a Christmas tree, but instead of toys for her p.z.y
women: and black, and ryzhie.K bottom hung broken-down, wide,
and up all narrower and narrower.
-Well, I guess, my, like a star, shining at the top?
No, in your tree standing ....
*
That's all if you like, write more!
