(C) Alexey Guryev, 1997
On the threshold of New Year, and this is the main
theme. And as you know, the best anecdote,
this anecdote to this topic! ;))) Here, we present
Here are some New Year's
anecdotes. Maybe you've heard them, and
vozozhno not. In any case - you are at least
drop, but the smile! :))) We did not
a goal to create a second <XA-XA FON>,
I just wanted to please you! :)
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At the matinee comes drunken actor to
play Santa Claus. He tells the children:
- Kids! Guess the mystery! For each
matinee Grandfather Frost receives seventy
thousand ruble. How denezhek gets
Grandfather Frost, if the day of his ten
matinees?
- Seven hundred thousand ruble! - Screaming children.
- Fuck you! And taxes?
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Three hunters celebrate the New Year.
Began to brag to each other, who
Just last year, scored on a hunt.
- I'm in that year went into the forest. So I'm there
as a protein filled - you never dreamed of!
- Nonsense! I went to Africa - forty lions
flunked!
- Listen guys, you're talking about the Dead Sea
have you heard? Well I had a duck ...
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In most poor African countries
flies the aircraft. Children happily surrounded
him. Descends the ladder, and the plane leaves
Santa Claus.
- Hello, children!
- Hello, Grandfather Frost!
- Do you live here, children?
- Bad, Grandfather Frost!
- How do you eat here, kids?
- Oh, bad, Grandfather Frost!
Santa Claus turns around and goes back to
aircraft.
- Where are you, Grandpa Frost? And presents!
- And we who are not eating, not gifts
Gets!
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On New Year's party.
- Girl, can you dance with?
- You can just not smoke in bed!
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After the matinee father tells his son:
- Vovochka, you're already an adult, and dolzhen
understand that there is no Santa Claus no. This
I was ...
- Yes, Dad, I know. Because the stork is also a you ..
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Is a policeman on the street and sees a drunk
a woman sitting in a puddle.
- Citizeness, submit your documents!
- Yes, what documents ... I Maiden!
- Why sit in a puddle?
- Well, you do not see what? I melted!
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Drunken man goes home after
meeting of the New Year with friends. " Comes
in the dark staircase, knocking in the first
that came to the door.
- Maria! Discover!
From behind the door is heard:
- Yes, I am not Mary.
- Oh, Claudia, Klavochka, Open.
- And I'm not Claudia.
- Hey, my wife, whoever you are, maybe we are still in
City will play?
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A man got drunk on New Year's, became advertising
on the TV to watch.
"To feel good, I buy
<Tampax> "
- Tampax, Tampax, do not be shy, you put it
hurry! - Shouted as loud guy.
" - Ate, and order!"
- If "Snigers" ate one, then
think about Natasha! - Shouted gleefully man.
All the neighbors got sick of it, they caused
police.
Zvonik at the door.
- Who's there? - Asks the man.
- For you granted outfit uk, take away all
in a row!
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First day of January, in the morning, the plane is
Manager.
- Pulkovo! Board 315 requests permission to
landing!
- Who says?
- Yes, what do you care who says?
You told the Russian language - the side of 315
requests permission to land!
- Call the first pilot!
- The first pilot can not come - he was drunk
a fiddler!
- Call the co-pilot!
- The second pilot, too, can not come - he
drunk as a board! Listen, and let us do you permission
on posyadku!
- Who says it's something!
- Someone who ... Autopilot! Uk ...
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The policeman stopped the driver.
- You are exceeding the speed. Where are you going?
- Yes here, meeting with friends New Year.
Home food ...
- What New Year? On the street in April!
- So I hurry home. The wife is probably
Worried ...
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Well, perhaps that's all. Udachngo you years
Friends! :)))
