Damn laws...

*/───────────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────/* * Forwarded by Alexei Bugai (500:572/110) * Area : RU.COMPUTER.HUMOR (RU.COMPUTER.HUMOR) * From : Michael A. Kangin, 2:5020/52 (Sat Dec 02 2000 14:47) * To : All * Subj: Laws, damn... */───────────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────/* ||*()*|| Good day, *All*! From: Computers #42 [371] November 28, 2000 - -------------< Windows Clipboard file inserted >-------- Yuri Sakun, ysakun@computerra.ru WHY DOES A PSYCHO NEED A REPRODUCTION TOOL? They say that ignorance of the laws does not exempt you from responsibility for them. violation. This universal formula is valid in all countries. And that's right: in fact, what can you do, hiding behind ignorance that there is a punishment for this. However, there is another formula that, along with the first one, works not everywhere, but only in “selected” countries. It goes like this: "The stupidity of the laws is compensated by the non-obligatory nature of their execution." That is, it turns out You can break the law, but only if its stupidity is obvious to others. But as I already noted, this formula does not work everywhere: there are still “backward” countries where the stupidity (in our general opinion) of the population is multiplied by stupidity (again, in our opinion) of the authorities, and in the end it turns outcompliance with all laws. Even very stupid ones. For example: we love very much make fun of the laws of the USA, or rather, of some states. Not allowed in one state kissing on the street, in another - wearing squeaky shoes (seriously, such there is a law), and the third thing... Very funny. And what's most comical is these laws are observed. Stupid people. Not like us. We're not just stupid - we're "normal" We spit laws with relish from the “high bell tower”. Hoping for the “wisdom” of the authorities, or rather, representatives of those same authorities. "Comrade inspector, well, I exceeded the speed is 100 km/h, but maybe we’ll separate somehow..." And two minutes later We disagree - we have the rights in our pocket, and the “wise” inspector has the amount in several times less than the amount of the fine. It may be smaller, but it is one of its own. God, what would have happened if it weren’t for the “wisdom” of such “workers of the whistle and rod" and their colleagues... I close my eyes and see... Soooo... And your printer, young man, will have to be confiscated. Yes, yes, and you will also have to pay a fine. Why? Well, what does “why” mean? Not it’s registered with you, it’s a mess..." And then I find out that, according to Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation dated October 11, 1994 No. 1158 "On the procedure for accounting and storage of color copying media in the Russian Federation Federation" my old Hewlett-Packard (which suddenly turned out to be "color copying tool") must be registered and supplied registered with the police...And it begins: running around the authorities, signing some papers, certificates etc. And they send me to a mental hospital and to a narcologist: without the fact that they will prove that I am not crazy and not a drug addict or alcoholic, I should work with The printer cannot be used under any sauce! You never know what I can do with this make it with a printer? What if I use it to kill someone... or rape them, no? God forbid? Then what? I open my eyes and sigh with relief... All the same faces around: “comrade inspector", a district policeman with kind eyes, an official who is ready to do for everything for me - in exchange, however, for a certain amount. In a word, everything is around "our own". "America will not pass, victory will be ours!" And my fantasies are completely not fiction or nonsense, but a very real story told by a person, caught in such a situation. Before telling this cautionary tale, I’ll skip straight to morality. if you broke the law, sit down and keep your head down. So here's his story. About four years ago, a certain commercial organization rented premises in one large government agency. And I bought myself a colored one inkjet printer. And then the registration order just went through the entire building "color copying tools" And the businessmen made the main mistake - they decided demonstrate law-abiding behavior and register the printer with the special police. Good The registration process itself took very little time - about a day. But,as it turned out later, the registration paper is just the beginning an exciting "attraction" organized by police officers It turned out that all registered printers are subject to quarterly inspection with drawing up a report on the correctness of their operation and condition. "We it took a lot of effort (color cartridge) to prove what to reproduce banknotes on our printer is impossible and even unprofitable,” - our hero tells. However, we quickly managed to come to an agreement with the inspector: a young police officer agreed not to be very zealous in checking the execution all requirements for operating the printer. For this, a commercial organization (a small publishing house) regularly gave him what it produced - books. But then “a terrible thing happened”: a new inspector came. All certificates, which had been collected by that time, turned out to be clearly not enough: it was necessary ten more times that amount. And so - at every check. The inspector clearly recorded each violation and “reassured” the businessmen opening "prospects" - fines and criminal punishment. When will finally, he condescended to give a list of all the requirements for legal operation of a color printer, publishing staff for a long time laughed... However, soon their laughter turned into nervous - when everything had to fulfill these requirements. This is what is needed, according to our hero, forlegal use of "color copying equipment": 1. A person responsible for the color printer is appointed, who is responsible for exploitation, including from your own pocket. 2. A complete list of persons is compiled (with last names and passport details), who are approved (including for health reasons) to work with people of color printer 3. You must have all the documents for the color printer: passport, check purchase, hygiene certificate, etc. in full and in accordance with rules. 4. Everyone admitted to the color printer must undergo a medical examination and obtain a certificate stating that their state of health allows them to work for color printer. (Imagine the picture: a man comes to the doctor and says: “Comrade doctor, I need a certificate that I can work with printer..." It will probably take a long time to explain that you are not at the wrong door and don’t go see a psychiatrist.) In addition, you need: a) a certificate from a mental health center; b) a certificate from a drug treatment clinic. 5. A journal (necessarily bound) of printed accounting is drawn up products. 6. The room where the color printer is located must be equipped alarm system, steel doors and other security measures, and the printer itself must be kept in a safe. (Brilliant. This is called "keep it like your apple" oka".) 7. In the absence of a hygiene certificate, you are required to obtain a conclusionSES, which conducts an examination to determine whether the printer emits harmful substances. In short: people come, take air samples for analysis and give conclusion. For commercial structures this costs a pretty penny... (According to the story people who know, this is done like this: they bring a huge fan into the room, which is connected to devices that record the air composition. Include fan [although, rather, it can be called a vacuum cleaner - it sucks air], start the printer - and leave it for a day. And then they determine what substances the printer emits and how harmful they are. The problem is that Not only the printer, but also the computer can emit certain substances, however, it is impossible to determine “who is to blame.” 8. The special police conduct quarterly checks for compliance and draws up an inspection report or a protocol of violations. 9. Application for registration. People who do not have the listed documents and do not included in the list of users do not have the right to work in color printer. If violations are detected, a protocol is drawn up for the person responsible. person (consequences: fine, criminal liability, etc.). These are the rules. "The law is stupid, but that's the law." Where does all this strictness come from? It turns out that the registration of printers is in charge of the special police, or the so-called permit system. It is she who registers weapons and issues them permissions. And so as not to strain and invent new rules specifically forprinters, the police decided to automatically transfer the scheme almost completely registration of weapons on printers. So now printers must be stored in reliable safes so that the “enemy” cannot take possession of them. All that remains to be done last step: declare printer cartridges as ammunition with all the ensuing consequences for stores selling them and users "weapon" called "copying tool". However, people who work in the permit system are not very talkative, so when I called one of its departments and asked: “Are you registering color printers?", at the other end of the line they thought and said: "In my opinion, no." And they hung up. How did this story end? And it ended quite happily. The next inspector accidentally touched the ill-fated printer with his elbow, and he flew from the eighth floor. The new printer was provided by a government organization, which rented the premises. When trying to register a new one printer (see order), the police did not encounter some “private entrepreneurs", and with a government organization. Then it began "football": policemen were "footballed" from one boss to another and back. And so on endlessly. So the new printer is still standing unregistered, without a safe, and anyone working on it - without certificates... In fact, there is nothing to be happy about here, since no one is registering printersdidn't cancel. It all started back in 1982. It was then that the Government issued an order on the registration of color copiers. And four years later - an order to register color printers. Another one came out in 1994 order - N1158 mentioned above. In 1998, they wanted to cancel these orders, but then the crisis struck, and there was no time for printers... So, buying a color printer, figure out if you have money for an iron door and bars on windows - without this you cannot use your purchase. And it's not necessary brush it off: “Oh, no one is interested in this.” Residents of Stavropol and Podolsk near Moscow also thought so, until the police decided to "inspect order." The police went shopping, recording who bought the colored printer, and came to the happy owner of the “copying tool” at home, forcing you to register your purchase. It’s all over, according to one of the employees of the company that produces printers, because now sellers write in invoices and sales receipts just “printer”, without specifying which one. To prevent users from problems arose. The same thing, by the way, is done by importers who import colored printers, because when imported into Russia, they are also required to register them! Yes also prove that they cannot be used for criminal purposes. Vladimir Svetlov, technical director of the Moscow representative office of Seiko EpsonCorporation, in this case he ate the dog: previously his responsibilities included draw up a statement for each printer stating that it is impossible to print on it money. It's good that we don't live in America. Or rather, it’s good that our police are not police in the States. Otherwise we would have to live behind iron bars... - -------------< End of file... >----------- PS: this is, of course, almost off-topic, but for some reason lists of idiotic American laws regularly fly through humorous places. Are we worse? 02 Dec 00, with bests and ratings, Michael A. Kangin aka MAK e-mail: mak@complife.net, UIN:730578, HP: http://www.plugcom.ru/~makh -+- Written down from MAK’s words is correct. Microsoft GoldED+/W32 for CP/M v. 1.1.3.1 + Origin: The day will not be wasted in vain!!! (2:5020/400) (2:5020/52.0) */───────────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────/* _/Peace unto you, All!_/ In Rus' as in Rus' ;) _/With best wishes, Squizer!/_ >>> [xproject@softhome.net] [icq:17425411] [ZX] [Ukraine RC5 Team]