:)

*Hello, All!* DRAGONS OF OUR TIME (Remarkable in style, but at the same time very practical text from Vasily Grigoriev, known under the pseudonym Vasily the Cat. Unfortunately, I don't have there is a link to the original - but it is also probably present somewhere in Networks...). "...and a column of fire hit straight from the primus in the tent. Like a gaping maw with black edges appeared in the tent and began spread out in all directions..." M. Bulgakov "The Master and Margarita" It is well known (for example, Jerome K. Jerome wrote about this) that the Primus works only when you don’t need him or when you pretend that you don’t need him. In all other cases, the Primus does whatever it wants: hisses, puffs, spits burning gasoline, makes a "little dragon", flies around the tent, imagining himself incendiary bomb, or simply does not work, without motivating its behavior. The usual procedure for lighting an average primus stove represents something similar to an orgy of fire worshipers with sexual actions with a pump, sniffing gasoline, volumetric explosions and others bells and whistles. All this made the Primus an object of all sorts of worship from persons who using. Based on personal and social experience, I can do the following conclusions: I. Primus is a living being; I.1 Primus is not only a living creature, but also possesses intelligence;I.2 Primus is of an extremely harmful nature, which seems to incurable; I.3 The anatomy of the primus is a mystery, as is the diagnosis diseases (“Everything is fine, so why... it’s not working!”). Any instructions for use are powerless; II. Primus has means of defense and attack (the product of volumetric explosions, creation of flamethrower jets, turning a primus into a rocket); II.1 Primus can be considered a WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction). Documentary evidence of this is the film "Ska-la", in which bad guys throw sewer of a typical "Shmel-2", saying "Oh, and it's going to explode right now!" (after this is shown by such a good volumetric explosion); II.2 According to unverified data, the Primus is an unfinished development sabotage weapons from the Cold War; III. For fruitful communication with primus stoves, a special person is needed - "primusologist"; III.1 Primusologist - a person endowed by nature with the skills of fruitful communication with Primus stoves, which is comparable to the abilities to: calling and taming spirits and demons, hypnosis (including mass), communication with the otherworldly peace and healing of the terminally ill; III.2 On a hike, a primusologist is easily identified by his face, which is constantly black with soot and hands, the smell of gasoline, from which horseflies, mosquitoes, midges, midges die in flight,Gadfly and vampire bats, gloomy facial expression and absent look; III.3 The following is not recommended when working as a primusologist: a. Asking him distracting questions like: “Well, when will it be ready?” devour?!"; b. Sitting opposite the fire outlet (safety valve) Primus stove and storage of valuables there; c. Making sudden movements that could lead to: overturning the primus, gasoline, food, water and getting hit in the face by a primusologist; III.3 The most important quality required to communicate with a primusologist is understanding that the primusologist is also a person and he is also very interested in speedy preparation of food and tea. Unfortunately, a primus stove is a necessary attribute of any a serious hike or outing, and on a big hike there may even be several of them, which is a serious obstacle to the implementation of any measures, related to the preparation of hot food and drinks. Therefore, based on Based on the above facts, when working with a primus stove it is strongly recommended: I. Find a primusologist and make him prepare food; II. In the absence of such presence, proceed to independent actions, namely: 1.Remove all things and people that could ignite at a distance of at least 100 m from the place of action; 2. Wear an asbestos mask and suit; 3. Outline and remember possible escape routes;4. Prepare gasoline, matches, glass, anti-burn ointment, stretcher. 5.Read the prayer; 6. Sprinkle holy water on the primus stove; 7.Open a bottle of gasoline; 8.Open the Primus tank; 9.Add gasoline to the Primus; 10.Close the primus tank; 11.Pump up the primus (if you have something); 12. Pour gasoline on the burner, tank, yourself and the surrounding area; 13.Close the bottle of gasoline; 14.Cross yourself; 15. Set fire to gasoline; 16. Having come to your senses after the volumetric explosion, knock out the flames and remove the primus from puddles of burning gasoline; 17.Wait until all the gasoline has burned out and light the primus stove; 18. Put a can on it; 19.Look at the primus stove, don’t breathe, don’t move, pray to yourself; III.Depending on the model and nature of the primus, the following options are possible developments: a.If the Primus is called “Death of a Tourist”, it may start spontaneously to low-Earth orbit; b.If the primus is called "Bumblebee-#", then it is possible to emit a flamethrower jet from fire outlet (safety valve); c. Possible cessation of combustion of the kerosene stove; d.The Primus will quietly “die” for several hours without heating up product to a temperature above 50 degrees, starving its owners, bringing them to cannibalism or, even worse, to uncontrolled eating of folding products and caretaker; e.An unlikely outcome: the Primus will burn properly, without tricks, and will cookI'll send you food as soon as possible. In this case, you are a born primusologist! WARNING: Following these instructions does not guarantee safety or health! The author (Cat Vasily) does not accept complaints and claims to his address, like: “But everything exploded, they searched for the head for three hours, but still didn’t find the right hand.” found!" /That’s all, All, you can scroll further.../

Hello! I live in the city of Shchuchye in the Kurgan region. We have many lakes rich in fish, and salt lakes where nothing is found. I sometimes get into fishing. Would you mind if I Shall I join your conversation?

AREA:ZXNET.FISHING Hello Tatyanka! July 13, 2006 (it was 11:53 pm then) Tatyanka in his letter to All wrote: T> I live in the city of Shchuchye in the Kurgan region. We have many lakes T> rich in fish, and salt lakes where nothing is found. T> I sometimes enjoy fishing. Would you mind if I T> will I join your conversation? No, of course, new people are always welcome :) FIDO: 2:5030/1512 ZXNET: 500:812/19 E-mail: vega56@mail.ru ICQ: 144932679 Moderator of Ru.Baika, Moderator of Ru.Etymology, CoModerator of Ru.Masyanya

*Hello, All!* Three men are sitting in a boat, fishing. It’s night, it’s starting to get light. One says: - The sun is rising! Second: - I haven’t seen such a beautiful sunrise for a long time! The third throws the first two out of the boat with two kicks. The men emerge: - For what!?! - The first for offtopic, the second for flooding. - Have you gone completely nuts???! The man takes out an oar and hits both of them on the head: - And for insulting a ban!!! /That’s all, All, you can scroll further.../