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============================================================================== * Forwarded by Valerij Kozhevnikoff (500:95/468.2) * Area : SU.HUMOR; (FidoNet) * From : German Gurkov, 2:5040/53.19 (08 Sep 03 23:23) * To : All * Subj: www.anekdot.ru ============================================================================== Hello All! === Cut === I have a friend. German. The German is the best thoroughbred, purebred, although a descendant of some kind of tribe Russian emigrants. Big fan of fishing, so big, that at the word FISH he makes a stand and with a misty his eyes begin to drool. His name is Kurt. We met with him in Germany, I had the opportunity to work there under a contract in early 90s. He knows Russian swear words perfectly (my merit), Russian colloquial with dictionary. And so he wanted somehow catch a BIG FISH. Well, we have enough fish, but about BIG... Fish, that is, but because of its sizes proportional to the years lived is so wise that catching it takes a lot of work (we are not talking about a fish weighing less than a pound). I went to pay my respects to a familiar huntsman. Grandfather in this age, which Napoleon probably still remembers, but nevertheless For as long as I have known him, he has always been cheerful and quick beyond his years. All my life he lived on the river and almost all the Big Fish by nameknows. Word for word, with a bubble on the table, I started talking to my grandfather. Grandfather wiped his mustache and said: “You will have a BIG fish!” I'm calling Kurt I bring you good news. Some time passes, he arrives. Studded like a hedgehog with thorny rods and hung all sorts of bells and whistles. We're going to grandpa's. Grandfather has a boat. Big the boat is the same age as my grandfather, but just as strong and durable. The grandfather floats on it, or as he puts it, he WALKS, he’s like that way; takes a long and strong pole while standing on the bow of the boat sticks the pole into the bottom and walks towards the stern, holding onto the pole. Yes repeats several times, and when the boat picks up speed, you can just stand on the stern and sixth, as the grandfather puts it `slip'. He can control this pole easily phenomenal and the speed of the boat is quite decent. Well, so, Kurt and I arrived at my grandfather’s place, the arrival was washed as expected and They began to set up the gear. Kurt is already “half-deflated” (he’s German and there is a German, what to take from him) is trying to create some kind of his understanding is SUPER TASTE for SUPER FISH. Grandfather looked said: Get the fuck out! and brought a rope as thick as a finger from the barn and hooks that look like an anchor from an aircraft carrier. Kurt's eyes became like saucers, but since the Germans are a delicate people, he remained silent. Then the grandfather turned all sorts of super-scientific baits in his hands and alsothrown aside. This is where it became interesting to me. Grandfather dragged ancient Karamultuk and, without leaving the spot, counterpunched the couple karkush. Having tarred them with a blowtorch, the grandfather fitted them to his hooks. About a meter from the bait I added a couple of bricks. The tackle is ready. Kurt is in a stupor. Grandfather gets a couple of cameras from the barn from the truck, takes the pump and drags all this equipment into the boat. Kurt is silent, but his eyes speak for the three of them. Let's get on the boat the grandfather, according to one sign known to him, finds a place in the river, pumps up the cameras, ties his gear to them and throws everything board, then calmly pokes his head to the shore and goes home. Kurt in thoughtfulness, if I had not known my grandfather, I would also already be quite puzzled. It's late afternoon, we finish the schnapps and bayinki. In the morning We rush to the river, grandfather holds us back. We do housekeeping and Kurt constantly pesters his grandfather with questions about who we catch. Grandfather remains silent. In the evening we take fishing rods and go just catch fish. Kurt catches a solid bream of 4 kilos weight and happy reports that he caught a big fish. After taking a photo with her, he plans to release her into the river. We take the fish from him. Law-abiding Kurt, having learned that we we are going to eat fish caught (oh horror!) without the appropriate license and what’s more, it didn’t pass sanitary controlin indescribable horror and with trembling knees, everyone waited for the appearance “policeman”, ready to immediately arrest and fine us. He trembled until the first glass, then he devoured the fried food with gusto. bream and praised his grandfather’s art. The next morning one of the cameras sticking out like floats in the middle of the river were not in place. The grandfather, with his eyes sparkling with excitement, rubbed his hands and said: “Well.” guys, a good pig has grabbed onto it, I haven’t seen one like this for a long time caught. Wow, he’s carrying a brick with him! Let's get on the boat, just a minute We will catch his adversary! We jump into the boat and begin the search. We've been circling the river all day, widening the circles, but the cameras are still not there. visible. Finally, in the evening, the grandfather got tired and decided to go ashore have a snack. I also stuck with him, fishing is fishing, and bite hotsa. Kurt, overcome with excitement, decided to search on his own continue. He discovered a camera directly opposite the place where We arrived after a hearty lunch (or dinner). He found her by visible just before our passage, and therefore all further I had a chance to observe the events from the outside. So Kurt saw the camera, swims up to it and grabs the rope. Catfish (as it turned out he was very angry) dissatisfied with being disturbed, immediately rushes away, simultaneously pulling Kurt out of the boat as cork from a bottle. While still in flight, he realizes that the fishI don’t intend to joke, and therefore it’s time to move on. To our shore (the width of the Volga in this place is 150 meters) he swam (or ran up, the dog knows him, at least during the swim he didn’t dive into water more than waist-deep) after 5 minutes, and that’s me I think it's setting a world record. Then it was a matter of technique. Grandfather rushed to his neighbor, grabbed the oars, jumped into his boat and all pairs rushed towards the camera emerging from the waves. From the water he I didn’t get it out, I just tied a rope to it, and the rope caught on the bow of the boat. We stood on the shore and watched the catfish rides grandfather along the river. Kurt forgot about his wet clothes, with with eyes like an owl he looked first at me, then at grandfather in the boat and incessantly asked: Was ist das? , sometimes inserting; No fucking way Sepe! After dragging the grandfather for half an hour, the catfish got tired and the grandfather began to slowly steer towards the shore. A neighbor came up, intrigued. by the unexpected agility of the grandfather, who dragged away the oars and the boat. All We couldn’t persuade the catfish to come ashore in a crowd, we had to for a neighbor to start his ancient Niva and use it to drag fish. They pulled it out. We measured 2 meters 70 cm. Weight almost 200 kg. Turnip like boiler Slurps. It drags its tail across the sand. Kurt is a little overjoyed doesn’t kiss him, I transferred all the film in the camera, the video camera I almost raped him, I tried to capture everything about this catfish. Som ingirth of more than half a meter, well-fed, and against his background Kurt is like chick looks. I see my neighbor rushing with a chainsaw. It turns out I was about to cut up the catfish. Kurt almost screamed, his hands spread out, catfish protects. He swears like a drunken cobbler, and pulls me closer. He didn’t let the catfish be killed, we let him go him back. Yes, and the grandfather shed a tear, he speaks as in his youth visited, there are almost no such giants left. We washed Somovo release, the next day Kurt with everyone I took a photo, gave all my gear to my grandfather and escorted him him to Nemetchina full of impressions about RUSSIAN FISHING. Amateur fisherman. === Cut === German Gurkov + Origin: Monday September 08 2003 23:23 (FidoNet: 2:5040/53.19) ============================================================================== Hello, All! WBR, Jason. /*e-mail: jason2000(scary dog)yandex.ru ICQ: 62235830*/ /np:/ *silence*