Onigdod
ZXNet echo conference «462.talk»
Hello(s), All...!
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An own goal is a goal scored by a robot football player.
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- Milk has gone up in price! Price shock!
- This is not a new shock, this happened in 1998...
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With the best - Wlodek # wlblack()newmail.ru # http://wlodeks.narod.ru
[ZX] [500:95/462@ZXNet] [2:5016 Forever] [Golyanovo] [Old Russians]
*Hello, Wlodek!*
Catch my ideas about the subject “Onigdod”, which I talked about on 26 Oct 2007
your footcloth to comrade. All.
A woman screams heart-rendingly on the street:
- Help... someone... my child swallowed a ruble... he is now
suffocate... save!!!
Suddenly a man jumps out from the crowd of onlookers, quickly grabs the child by the legs and
starts shaking it this way and that until the coin falls out. Mother starts
warmly thank the savior:
- Thank you, doctor... if it weren’t for you...
- You're welcome, but I'm not a doctor. I am a tax inspector!
/That’s all, Wlodek, you can scroll further.../
Hello(s), All...!
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GKChP - Georgian Committee on State of Emergency.
Tbilissimo is an untranslatable near-musical term from the fall of 2007.
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With the best - Wlodek # wlblack()newmail.ru # http://wlodeks.narod.ru
[ZX] [500:95/462@ZXNet] [2:5016 Forever] [Golyanovo] [Old Russians]
*Hello, All!*
-Vanya, do you know anyone in the police?
- Yes, Vovan, my friend.
-What is he doing there?
-This is his second month in the bullpen.
/That’s all, All, you can scroll further.../
Hello(s), All...!
For Police Day:
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“I married a riot policeman. So that I would always have someone to cry in my bulletproof vest.”
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With the best - Wlodek # wlblack()newmail.ru # http://wlodeks.narod.ru
[ZX] [500:95/462@ZXNet] [2:5016 Forever] [Golyanovo] [Old Russians]
Rubber bullet - to a friend:
- When you grow up, you'll become a bludgeon!
...The sailors took Vovochka with them to the submarine. Upon returning from the trip
Vovochka talks in front of television cameras about her impressions.
...Finally the director can’t stand it, he approaches Vovochka and in front of everyone
whispers in his ear:
- A naval self-propelled projectile is called a torpedo, not a firecracker!..
...Stirlitz didn’t recognize anyone, couldn’t remember anything and just repeated:
“I won’t say anything!”... The doctor who arrived on call diagnosed him: “Acute
conspiratorial disease."
- Why haven’t you bought a car yet?
- I’m waiting for them to start issuing numbers for the 777th region.
P.S.: Muscovites will understand.
TV presenter after switching to work from one satellite channel to another:
- Somehow I feel out of place...
- How is Vadik, how much?
- Two hundred and forty by one hundred and eighty.
- ?!...
(faints).
- ...Fool, this is the size of the photo in pixels,
not blood pressure!!!
- Why is Count Suvorov eating and eating with us?
- And I, mother, don’t give a damn.
- Pussy to Alexander Vasilyevich Suvorov!
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From: Subscribe.Ru
To: funny.anec (13232915)
Topic: City Cat Jokes
Date: April 28, 2008 6:32
- Why is Count Suvorov not eating anything, not drinking anything, and not
moving?
- Yes, he doesn’t seem to be breathing, madam.
- What's wrong with him?
- Looks like he's dead, mother.
- Star to Suvorov Alexander Vasilyevich. Posthumously.
- Count of police Suvorov, Alexander Vasilyevich! I'll ask yours
rights.
- What rights?
- So there’s a post here, mother.
- Why doesn’t Count Suvorov eat anything?
- So it’s fasting, mother.
- Why does Count Suvorov have such big ears?
- To hear you better, mother.
- Why is there a hole in Count Suvorov’s lapel? Come on,
quickly send a star there to Alexander Vasilyevich Suvorov.
- Thank you, mother.
- Why doesn’t Count Suvorov smoke anything?
- But after the first one you can’t, mother.
- Star to Suvorov Alexander Vasilyevich.
- Well, mother. You're pampering.
- Why does Count Suvorov have such big eyes?
- So... uh... uh...
- God! Graph! Shame on you! Get out now!
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Diggers rule:
- What could be better than Ariadne's thread?
- Ariadne's two threads.
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...If in an "Emergency" someone (1) threw someone (2) out
windows (3rd) floor, then this is required:
1 - pedophile;
2 - teenager;
3 - starting from the third and above.
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From: Subscribe.Ru
To: funny.anec
Topic: City Cat Jokes
Date: April 15, 2008 4:43
Announcement at school:
From September 25th our school has a special promotion! Now instead of the usual
the call sounds a polyphonic melody! If you want after class
mathematics your favorite melody started playing, put 5 dollars in
teacher's room
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Fuck, I would pay who knows how much just for this electronic crap
(polyphonic melodies) stopped, and instead a regular bell sounded...
A robot comes to a tattoo parlor:
- I want the most fashionable barcode!
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Joke of the week :-)
In connection with the ongoing arson of cars in Moscow, the
patrolling Red Square, metro stations, under-street passages and
overpasses, protected forest park areas, water areas of the Moscow River and artificial
bodies of water...
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The funniest day of the week.
The man turns to the side of the road, opens the right door and characteristically invites
dressed girl in the car. This and that, two thousand for the whole night and the like...
Suddenly a man pulls out his ID and says: “Police. Control
purchase". And the girl answers:
- I'm not a prostitute.
- ? And who are you?
- I am a motor vehicle citizen!
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- Hello, rescuers? I'm in the forest, I cut my finger...
- Do you want us to come to you because of some finger?!
- No, thanks... I just wanted to clarify what needs to be done: piss on
finger or shit...
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St. Petersburg. G8 summit. Putin rises to the podium. Time
exactly 12 o'clock. Somewhere in the distance something rumbles dully, they tremble slightly
glass... The head of security approaches Putin, whispering in his ear:
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, urgent evacuation.
- Well, what are you saying, what kind of evacuation, this is a cannon firing in Petropavlovka, this
This is the tradition.
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, this is not Petropavlovka! This is Aurora!!!
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- Dear passengers, the plane has depressurized, we ask everyone to put on
oxygen masks. Girls with silicone breasts are also asked to wear
body armor.
- Why else?
- If the air pressure drops quickly, your breasts will explode within a minute.
The bulletproof vest will protect other passengers from fragments.
- Comrade student, what does the expression “Accuracy three nines” mean?
- Probably, accurate to the penny, calculated the amount required for
buying three bottles of Nine.
- Mr. Director, what does the expression “Accuracy three nines” mean?
- Probably, accurate to the penny, calculated the amount required for
acquisition of three VAZ-2109.
- Just imagine, a neighbor shot himself with a gas pistol!
- How is that?..
- He stuck the gun in his ass! And it burst!!!