Literary Page
To your attention peredlagaetsya parody
story on the famous novella by Yuri Matveev
about the adventures of Captain Krenona that
was created based on the beautiful game
Rebel Star II: Alien Encounter.
__________________________________________
(C) 1999 by JEDI Provocative
-= Krenona Strategy: The Light of Truth =
Dedicated to the first creator of the
Spectrum
short stories in Russian - only to him about
it
not a word!
... He looked at the screen. Their ship has already
slowly entered the sluice gates docking compartment Venus - The
Center. "
Krenon thoughtfully returned the glance at the
his grandson, on whose gleaming eyes are not
it was hard to guess that he was mentally
continues to battle with those described only
that Sinister.
- You know - suddenly interrupted the captain thought the
young man - I have the feeling that you're told not all,
otherwise how can we explain the fact that ...
- Ah - suddenly interrupted the old man with a strong
sigh - okay, listen now, as it
it really is. You must znatat real life, although she is such
and not very much looks like ... - And, ignoring the surprised
grandson Krenon again immersed in those enlightening events.
This happened back in those days, when
people pretend that he is steeper in all
Universe. Naturally, under the laws of Great Murphy,
necessarily had to come someone has to prove that it is not so
...
*
With each passing day Krenon more and more
convinced that this wet planet, in
which was only one small marshy island sticking up in the
middle of overgrown purple seaweed ocean - the perfect
place for lovers of mud baths and mahozistov, adoring slowly
suffocate under fetid scent of raw jungle. Since k
these people did not take the captain, he
always strove to serve the premises,
Recalling his experience gained
in his youth at a lunar base of the Earth.
And it would be relatively good, if
not for this professor-moron, managed
gap in one of the most stinking areas of northern wetlands. But
now, thanks namely their bikes on the operation on the Moon
he was appointed commander of the rescue team as a specialist
in emergency situations.
A few hours after receiving
task force has to wade through laser sabers through the
pernicious thicket creeping vines and stiff reeds. Marsh
zhizhzha fun squelched underfoot rescue, extending a fragrant
smell of rotten onions, of which around his head were beginning
to flutter dear little birdies ...
- Do not - finally gave voice Lazarus Sharkey, when, instead
of fluttering birds around He began to circle the whole crow - I
Now go crazy ...
- Spakuha! - Encouragingly said Don Keyloni. - It's all
because of the intoxicating fumes that we will soon pass.
Krenon looked gloomily at his old
other since the lunar base. He's a
knew then what are generally solid
swamps.
- Guys, is it time to stop until
it was not a caw? - Sharkey pleaded.
- So true. Sharkey, MD, Hudson, Daniel Dar and Corporal Hicks
will remain here - will break camp and prepare dinner, and we -
Krenon glanced at the remaining nine Commandos - return hours
after pyatshest, wait.
The captain hoped to take a stroll along the river - a break
from the stuffiness, and left Only the most annoying of the
team. His idea realized Keyloni and said with glee enigmatic
phrase, to which nobody paid attention to:
- You have only this, do not let myself feed
mirages.
An hour later the squad was walking on a breath, finally, the
freshness of the river, but suddenly there came a sudden shot,
from which Krenon stepped directly into the fetid mud, under the
are masked meter pit.
- Damn! .. - He gasped, trying to
muddle through with the grinning Keyloni, who was walking
beside him. - Who was shooting?
- Captain, I ... - Heard the old woman's voice radio.
- And who is it?
- Sue Shaw! - Otraportirovala girl. AND
immediately added an altered voice: -
But here again, someone in the bush is busy!
- Who can it be? Beasts on this
No planet!
- More precisely, they have not yet discovered - with
a strange voice said Don ustavishis
somewhere behind Krenonu.
- Cheg? .. - Stammered the captain, turning round, when he
shot rang approaching him Henley and Kurt Lewin. They opened
fire on ... rat the size of a calf, which tried unsuccessfully
pushed his way to them through the vines. By screeching bullets
Henley and Levine were added sizzle of lasers - that came to
help Digriz and Zira Kama. While Krenon and his companion tried
to something to consider, the rat managed to progryzt
its filthy yellow teeth barrier, and
rushed to the captain, spraying saliva from greed. But at the
last moment, took off from the undergrowth new laser beams,
which still managed to hit a rat and it safely gone, leaving
behind a small body of ordinary terrestrial rodent.
- And who palil? - Grinned Keyloni -
the only one who had not looked like the image on the others.
- I! I-ya-ya! - With joy ran Luc
Solo, until he saw his prey.
- A. .. ah where svamper? - He asked
idiotic views, looking at it
dumb friends, the helpless little body.
- A netu, dear! - Finally threw Leo
Trotsky, who spoke in Russian, in this
traditional language of space explorers, with a strange accent
unknown origin.
- Guys - said Krenon, trying to speak reassuringly - we are
the first ones found on this world of animals!
The commander looked around at his men and
in the eyes of each saw ezhsh one thought:
"And the hell?" .. "
- In general, - he continued - if you
meet a monster - it's really not
monster. As the saying goes, all the way around.
- Curious - sarkaticheski Keyloni noticed - and if there was
now a young one - Does not it mean that ...
- This means that there are too many
pair! - Angrily interrupted the captain.
- Yes, but ... - Quietly agreed Keyloni,
enjoying some hill - a couple here too much ...
Krenon hopelessly looked in the direction of
his eyes and opened his mouth - before it
was a rectangular rock with eerie yeroglifami depicting some
lizards in various threatening poses.
- Que es esto? - Murmured Zira Kahn.
- I don't know ... - Distractedly answered
Henley.
- Do not swear foreign words! -
roared the commander, trying to figure out how
they do next - continue searching
Professor or blame everything on the shoulders of the
researchers.
- Well, according to the instructions we have the right to
return, if you encounter unrecognized danger in the form of
active elements - Krenon and he could not understand how his
mind This phrase stuck.
Then came the mocking voice Keyloni, and the captain
routinely prepared for the worst:
- In that case I congratulate you on
the right of return.
- What do you mean?
- Yes, in principle, a lot of things, for example ...
- Don!
- In general, on the other side is like an "active cell".
Krenon stared at the purple vegetation:
- Where?
- There are bushes - they are moving.
The commander stared at the specified
strangeness. Finally he realized:
- Yes there is a breeze!
In support of kapitanovskim words
a sharp whistle, and stuck into the ground iron arrows, covered
with rust.
- Hmmm, the wind here nehily not you think?
- Said Don Keyloni.
- What is it? - Krenon blankly stared at
incredible thing.
- Boom - followed by a polite hint.
- Ah-ah-ah ... - An understanding reached with the commander
of the idiotic kind, and immediately buried nose in a fragrant
mud - his friend pulled Krenona down to save from the second
boom, which with a horrible shriek flew over rasporstertym his
body.
- All lies! - Barely probulkal captain
trying to crawl out of puddles. Detachment rapidly
thrown on the ground - at the same moment
air cut a swarm of arrows, with which
disappointed with the sound pierced the blue standing near palm
trees. Replaced followed by the deadly clouds. Soon the trees
Nearby turned into vegetable urchins.
Through the wild noise of flying arrows Krenon
dokrichatsya managed to Keyloni:
- Listen, maybe it's an illusion, as
svamper? ..
- Stand up and check - but heed the advice
commander did not, as shelling suddenly stopped.
- Cap, what shall we do? - Shouted some one when they have
lain for half an hour without moving.
- Sky admire! - Came the response.
- Yeah, because it is ... zvezdastoe! ..
- Conversations - muttered irritably
Krenon painfully deliberating how they should proceed under the
statute. On the one hand, there is the presence of unexplained,
and therefore it's time to mosey, but on the other hand, retreat
they have the right only when
can form an idea of the danger - that is to perform the work
of researchers.
- Bureaucratic Idiots ... - Powerless
hissed the captain, taking the decision to ask
peppers all Aborigines, whether at least ...
- Oh my God - he heard a frightened voice
Henley - what is this ugly mug?
Krenon and several commandos jumped,
grabbing their arms and almost dumbfounded -
on the other side of the stream stood a something resembling a
mixture of toothy frogs with shabby pangolin and, moreover, in
his appearance was something cockroach. Dressed in dirty skin,
it was not armed with bow, as befits normal savage and
Ultraluminous blaster "Terminator." In addition to all monster
looked as if a child had stomach problems.
- Down! - Mechanically ordered the captain and first
buhnulsya, but now not in a puddle, and in the pit of stale
water, which saved it - the laser beam clean-shaven all
was at ground level.
- Well, what we do now, Cap? - Again
came the voice of a soldier.
- What's that, we'll shoot! - Snapped him
another.
- Shut up both of them! - Roared Krenon, wondering to what
kind of creatures include - their contacts or not.
- You know, - said Keyloni like reading thought the commander
- I do not think that It was here in the mission of the
contactee ... Especially because the muzzle of his "Terminator"
is now looking at us ...
The captain silently swallowed invigorating
information and felt blaster, translated it
in battle mode.
- Arschs ugrh-x? - Asked suddenly a monster.
- What? - Automatically answered Krenon,
blankly staring at a suddenly appearing
in front of his nose, an elephant foot.
- Hmm, it seems to be surprised - thought of Dawn, which lies
behind. - Wait a minute, Now I'll get lingvichesky device.
- Come on - with a shock calm agreed commander. In a moment
of surprise being shattered into thousands of charred pieces -
blaster has done his job.
- Oh no .. - Don gasped furiously, looking at the display
device. - He said: "You Is reasonable chunks of protoplasm? "-
Then have tried to make contact!
- Really? Then let's apologize
Before detachment, - said the commander,
Nodding toward the gray thickets of vines - there
stopped a small group of natives who
puzzled pyalilas to the place where you just stood their
brother.
- Commander - suddenly started chrevoveshat
portable radio voice of Leon Trotsky - do it
fun packed, yes ... Teper see how
dealt with entimi creatures we are!
- Leon! - Progrymyhal Krenon so that
relationship broke down and go haywire: - Do not
shoot!
- Do not what?
- Shoot!
- Yes!
The captain sighed with relief. Photon
Blaster was available only from him, and the rest were just
laser guns, which were good except on the downing of local
butterflies, what chance the soldiers, apparently forgotten.
Vykarabvshis of saving the well and enthusiastically picked up
miraculously survived the "Terminator" Krenon cried, handing
the trophy Keyloni:
- We are crawling to you!
- Zachem? Everything is ready. Rebyata, fire!
- WHAT?
There was a volley of shots and Krenon saw
as in the lumina of palm forests appeared
monster ten times more than before.
- Pohozhe, they ambush there, - said discouraged by Trotsky.
- What teper delat? ..
- Hey, that's no longer on our line!
- He remembered someone statute. - What is the meaning stomp on!
Krenon just gritted his teeth, Aware
paragraph about their powers. Gathering all his
will, he believes, said:
- It is necessary to stamp! We must show that
Papuans to their best people.
But what they can, Captain
did not specify why his words Bolus
Commandos have not added.
- So, - continued Krenon, taking out the radio - your group,
Trotsky, go back all. All others will join us
as soon pass the local muddy creek.
We must avoid these cockroaches party
shots without giving them razbrestis. Clear?
Instead of answering, heard distant shots.
- Forward - with a sigh, threw the captain.
- Sorted out - said Don soon myself, looking at the different
colored button on the "Terminator". This weapon
included all modes of fire from
classical acidic exploding bullets and
worms poisoned darts to
Contemporary annihilator. The most interesting thing is that it
izobrela in antediluvian times unknown now extinct civilization,
strange fruit of which is now met
in all corners of the galaxy. The price for these weapons was
astronomical ...
- So, - interrupted Krenon thought satellite
- The situation was pohlesche than we thought. After some place
just to get here "Terminator"? ..
- This is the problem of scientists - said had joined the
stream Kurt Lewin.
- While it is our problem, since
smart guys it has not already know - said Keyloni.
The captain looked at the sweet and podkalyvatelya
impatiently ripped a laser saber
another veil thorny vines. Seeing opened her landscape, the
unit froze in ostolbnenii. In front of them stood a massive
building, the architect of which, probably was the local
Picasso.
In Krenona somehow the sight of immediately
there was the toilet. After much deliberation
over symmetric phenomenon came hunch: the wall
composed of this item! More precisely, it
fragments resulting from the sawing of toilets at various
angles, which and were bonded to each other marsh
mud on pikassovskomu principle.
- Hmm, impressive ... - Don Keyloni finally confessed.
Shocked soldiers were smoothed by the fact that they were able
to during an involuntary stop watching
the rest of the squad, which lagged behind
because of the clashes near the stream. At the sight of the
local attractions every awesome first set with a wall, then on
the face commandos appeared philosophical expression, and then
it becomes like a smiling porcelain idol. Soon unknown, the
building was going to the entire squad - Strangely enough, all
survived.
- Interesno why the builders chose
such material? - Distractedly asked Trotsky.
- Curious others - said Henley -
how to get here, these toilets? A building
always of what is at hand.
Krenon looked at Don, out of habit
expecting from him tag phrases, but he remained silent. Then,
the commander inspected the unit and loudly to dispel
vpechatlenie from local Architecture, praised the team for the
excellent assignment.
- Now we can return as
an idea of the danger - that
has complied with the statute of the desired item.
- And even more - growled Henley
glancing at the wall.
- So, back - to the camp! - Followed by
order.
Despite all the trouble, Captain
now felt the joy of an early return home. Krenon took out the
radio and only had opened his mouth to report on the surrender,
she suddenly ahead of him:
- A team of rescuers, said an administration official of the
planet. Professor found. He is on our ship, which after a few
hours to arrive and for you. On the planet discovered a colony
of mutants that are hazardous to the galactic community, and to
be physically destroyed. Give us your contact information. I
order you to stay in place. I repeat: a team of rescuers, wait
for us to We could save you. Your information is very
valuable for operations "Fight with strangers."
The commander coordinates and automatically named
confusedly staring at his soldiers.
- Nothing, - he said Henley. - Rest
though.
- Yes, - said the nasty voice Keyloni, rising from the mud
rusty arrow - in the role of targets.
- Everyone on the side of the object,
for cover! - Ordered Krenon.
A few minutes later a detachment, forced his way
through the undergrowth along the wall, heard the sound of a
pierce in the structure of iron arrows. Speeding up the move,
people have suddenly jumped on rammed a dry area where wall
yawned a dark passage, overgrown with vines.
- That cover! - Some one said happily.
- And not a trap? - Henley replied, looking suspiciously into
the dark depths.
- Next to go we can not - we
ordered to remain in place - said
Captain. - It's better than hanging around in plain sight.
Include lights, people went into the unknown structure.
First, as always, came Keyloni:
- Hmm, a good collection here, "Terminator" ...
Indeed, there was a store of this legendary weapon - for each
person for five or six blasters. Now the squad could turn to
ashes the entire planet - surprisingly, this did Aborigines.
- All reservations blasters and take on
one "Terminator"! - Ordered Krenon when nepereryvnye shots
reached Finally the walls of their asylum.
- Yes, - said Luke Solo, picked up a new weapon last.
- Now proceed ... - Began to Commander,
but did not finish in time - in the aisle suddenly
there was a monster, waving a spear. Krenon with shock
composure drew photon blaster and blew the uninvited guest at
the pieces.
- It's ... - Continued the captain in the clubs
foul-smelling smoke - begin the shooting of foreign elements,
which will be appear at the entrance!
- Um, most foreign elements we are, what
They - in fact a planet, then they - could not resist
Doi, translating into battle mode your trophy, "Terminator" and
the first opening fire for the next visitor.
Soon after the passage was blocked by the remains of
Aboriginal people, but to replace them are all new and new
enemies, who immediately passed in gas and porridge state. In
the heat bout one for some reason failed to notice that the
target fell only Krenon Keyloni with the rest
were disgraceful Mazilu. Meanwhile nepereryvno shelled rear
wall broke down and collapsed. With by Viktor entrance
immediately stopped. There was a deathly silence ominous.
- What are they? - Vstrvozhilas Zira Kahn
offensive mind.
- I think I'm starting to understand what it was - Keyloni
muttered, looking at the pile rubble walls. People stared
glumly at the ruins. Kurt Lewin, standing closer to them
all, even kicked a lump and she retreated, revealing a small
object with a dial on the side, in which the entire squad with
grim satisfaction instantly recognized ultra-compact TNT bomb.
- Oh .. - And said only Krenon seeing
before the explosion that left seventeen seconds.
Recovered, he ordered briskly sweep away blockage
and away from the refuge. The order was
performed instantaneously.
Again on the open rammed clearing kashitan just noticed
in the spaces between the trees a new wall.
- March to the object!
Running up trees, the detachment heard the
a deafening explosion that is comparable to
while smashing a couple of hundred bulbs in
close the premises. Air Wave, skirted
lying commandos destroyed the front wall, which showed a dark
corridor, stretching into the darkness.
- And here's a new shelter - said cheerfully
Krenon.
- In which we will have known that -
maybe something worse than run hither
here cockroaches - not slow to respond
Don.
Meanwhile in the jungle resumed
firing, and some people whistled a few arrows.
- Alive in the aisle! - Shouted the captain, opening fire in
response. He waited until the last soldier crawl through the
doorway, Krenon produced a series of volleys, and started in
pursuit of others.
Once in the corridor, the captain said:
- Now we seek a safe place
there to wait out the arrival of the ship.
Suddenly from the dark depths of the corridor
were made by two monster with Trident.
- Are you hoping to find it here? - Sarcastically asked
Keyloni, opening fire.
Easily vary the dust guard, Don
turned for an answer, but Krenon
ignored the question. Include a lantern, captain confidently
moved forward through the tunnel, carefully stepping over the
remains. Exchanging glances, people followed him.
Soon the team noticed several small Aboriginal - probably
young. Barely when he saw people monsters suddenly rushed
away.
- Davie snakes! - Bravely shouted Henley and
with solo, they rushed in pursuit of
uleptyvayuschimi enemies, leaving his comrades
in disbelief.
- Back off! - The commander barked, rushing
after gambling subordinates. Soldiers
nothing to do but follow the example of captain. A few minutes
later heavily running squad suddenly pounced for two fugitives,
who knocked down Several people rushed back.
- What a surprise? .. - Muttered irritably Krenon, but the
explanation did not take long appear - in front appeared a
dozen razyarennyh Aborigines.
- Fire! - Shouted the captain, raising his
a photon blaster.
- Commander, - was suddenly embarrassed voice Trotsky - it ne
strelyaet! ..
- Do not shoot!
- Yes "Terminator" also! And there was a vseh -
blank cartridge!
At critical moments Krenon always found
ingenious solutions. So it was at this
times:
- In that case - for me! - And the commander rushed into the
side passage of the tunnel.
Begya struggled to close the corridor,
People soon noticed in front of two uncertain
silhouette. Before someone had something to figure out a
detachment from all overclocking crashed into them, which
turned out to Henley and Luc Solo. Whipped commandos with abuse
rose, but then fell silent, seeing facial expressions Krenona.
- What the ... - Opened his mouth to the captain,
suddenly somewhere nearby was a terrible
roar, so strong that one of the walls of the tunnel
trembled.
- If only it was not destroyed ... - Muttered Keyloni.
When a prolonged roar stopped, all with
relieved. However, the buzz has not stopped. Sensing something
was wrong, Krenon looked up and saw the stun,
as the ceiling is covered with cracks, which began to break
through the blinding daylight.
- What's going on?! - Proleptal Henley.
- No lo se ... - Zira said Kam.
- Shut up! - Shouted the captain, peering into the gloomy
darkness of the corridor, where he noticed some strangeness.
After a moment the strangeness has become
to clarify - that was a huge creature, which was similar to the
Aboriginal only with excessively large belly and a very
large head. While the squad was thinking how
them to be around people suddenly poured
bright light, which drowned all ...
*
Old Space Wolves silent. His grandson
sat with my mouth open - the truth was
pohlesche former drama fiction ...
- Grandpa, so what was all over something?
- What? - Vstrepnulsya Krenon, waking
of the glamor of those days.
- Have you met the queen-queen - that was
Next? - Reminded the young man eagerly.
- Ah, yes ... So, these idiots Rescue sat right on our heads,
that is, the roof of the fortress of Aboriginal people.
Fortunately, we survived, but the queen ... - And the Captain
sighed.
- The ship that crushed it?
- Exactly. As it later turned out,
Aborigines were reasonable race, only a few aggressive and,
moreover, has not yet come into contact. Long then washed
Government ...
- By the way, but where still on the planet appeared
"Treminatory and toilet bowls?
- Yes, it's just antiques dealers
forget all this stuff for fifty years before
appearance of the colony.
- Clearly, - with some disappointment
said the young man, who was expecting at least
exposure of any secret organization ...
- Although, - grandson of thought interrupted by his
grandfather - these things very interesting ...
- What is interesting?
- The fact that, according to the official report of the
administration of the planet, someone in the colony knew about
the legendary weapons and was going to prikarmanit. For this he
gave to Professor incorrect coordinates to rescuers in his
search found a treasure - thoughtfully Krenon muttered, looking
out the window. At the launch site appeared a familiar figure
of the old Keyloni, who waved his hand in greeting.
- And then found this byaku? Who is he?
- And this - the captain said Krenon, surprisingly vindictive
smile - you Ask Uncle Don ...
__________________________________________
Notes edition.
Que es esto? - "What is it?" (Ispan.).
I don't know ... - "I do not know ..." (Eng.).
What's going on?! - "What's happening?" (Eng.).
No lo se ... - "I do not know ..." (Ispan.).
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