Selected fidoshny humor
Ilya Fomin
Gorbuhi by Fomin.
Part IV (2).
DICTIONARY Lamer (END).
Annie Kay (from the English. Any Key) - Virtual
key on keyboard (in the sense lamer can also be found on the
computer) is actively used by the majority modern software.
Usually used to confirm the completion of any action.
Skillful use of EK can be used for development in lamer skills
of investigation. Experienced computer guru EK sometimes used
for quick training of mental abilities lamer
(As a rule, this creates a virtual map of the keys on the
physical, mostly on RESET).
"BAD TSOMMAND-OR-FILLET-Name" (dobukvenny
translated from the lamas., see also "REPLASE-ANDSTRIKE
Ana-KEY", "OUT-OF-Memory", "TSAN'T READI Maid ... "etc.) -
magical phrase lamer dla incantations of computer guru.
Origin of the spell has its roots in
centuries of antiquity, hard-to phrase carefully lamer passed
down from generation to generation. Each spell has a strictly
defined purpose and is used in strictly defined situations.
Often just a ritual incantation is as follows:
caused bodily incarnation of a guru, then give the face a
mysterious expression he blurts out the syllables spell.
Depending on each particular spell, the guru after this comes in
rage, or falls into a trance, and after a particularly
powerful impact may zombifitsirovatsya.
SOLITAIRE (lam., from the distorted human Solitaire), Miner
(lam., wrong translate MineSweeper - MINE SWEEPER) -
traditional entertainment tribe lamer. For unclear reasons, the
skills of handling S. and M. lamer owned initially (apparently
this knowledge it receives from the mother's milk
or as a gift). It is only known
that the launch of S. and M. accessible even Lameroo
when to start the rest of the
required the ritual incantations of computer
guru (see above). Despite the fact that the game instruction is
standard practice in any Homo Sapiens, quickly leads to an
abrupt increase in mental potential use of S. and M. does not
make any noticeable changes in the nature of mental lamer. This
gives rise to some researchers attributed to the isolation of
mind lamer Homo Lamerus, which, apparently, is lost
branch of human evolution.
Work With a floppy disk: (for complete lamers) to do anything
with the floppy disk on a computer. Such as: zasynyt, vysynyt,
povertet in pykah with ymnym view. For the not quite complete
lamer: zasynyt diskety, Press ALT-F1, a few times strelochky
right. At the end of neydachnom contact pynkty "Kompyter
frozen. For prodvinytyh lamer: otodvinyt zaschelky records if
zadvinyta and zadvinyt if otodvinyta, insert diskety, then
press ALT-F1, a few times strelochky right.
When the operation is completed neydachnom appeal to pynkty
"Kompyter frozen.
WORK WITH KOMPUTEROM: sit down
look at kompyter, require a blue (cm), type lex, when neydache
cm pynkt "C kompyterom something wrong." Zapystiv
Lexicon, type text, click slychayno
PgDn, not yvidev text, begin to get
drygih lamer question: "delos Kyda is
I'm typing? ". Poslyshav" ymnogo "Board
prodvinytogo lamer come in a blue and
enter again in the lex. By doing this, I do not understand the
question of preservation of the text to answer "None" (just
slychay) again to print lex. Not obnaryzhiv text to go look for
the next user. Obnaryzhiv user, to break his dispute with
drygim users, wedged in frazy "plasma sax, befega pylez" and
say emy "C kompyterom something wrong" (sm)
Citing the user to kompytery, propystit
by yshey mat thereof through zyby, and the remembrance of some
Mazaya, and the question-ytverzhdenie "There is no text tyt!
answer: "It can not be, because I did it published!".
Again propystit quiet remembrance Mazaya,
registrar's office (probably bad nick y wife), and other
incomprehensible words, vyslyshat explanation user to use the
recording. After yhoda user to look at kompyter and podymat:
"What a complicated shtyka ..."
COMPUTER broken. Kompyter, which is not
wishes to display a blue (cm) for any
What ysloviyah. Possible causes: inability to find knopky
POWER, nevstavlennaya in stevyyu rozetky plug not included
monitor, forgotten in dikovode A floppy disk, the need to
recruit two bykvy NC after zagryzki, otsytvie Norton and
similar shells at kompytere, otsytvie Norton in the directory
PATH, slychayno pressed the last time "Ctrl-O" when the
recording settings, and etc.
COMPUTER SOMETHING wrong. Very similar to "Kompyter
dependent, with one exception. Namely: a blue remains on the
screen, but _kompyter_ trebyemogo actions are not performs.
Printer does not print: Indicates lyubyyu
inability to print the screen contents on bymagy. Namely: the
failure to include Printer otsytsvie bymagi, inability to
search for a word PRESS in the menu, just otsytstvie printer y
this computer slychaynoe rubbing source code, etc.
Winchester - (Hard) - Davis, the computer, which sluzhaschit
storage 1C and Toys "Aladdin" as well as shell VYDOVZ (see also
Beal valve, suks), established to run the tapeworm and
minerals.
Beer - bad pahnuschaa fluid, direct
relationship to komputeru not have, but is a necessary product
for life hacker (see hacker) and some are rumored to replace
the blood.
System unit - part of an extra computer, which is a vertical
or horizontally standing box in which
are cords that connect the monitor (see
monitor) with keybordoy (Claudia) (see Claudia).
Sometimes it can be used for industrial purposes,
napimer, killing cockroaches.
Uncle Peter (a blue, NC) - an important program in a
computer, providing it works. With the lack of it on the
computer screen is inoperative and must be repaired.
Suks, mastday - favorite expressions of hackers, often
express their approval of your action ...
Hacker - a strange creature, speaking on
unintelligible language; can run on virtually inoperable
computer, ie, a lack of "NC" (see Uncle Peter). In captivity
does not breed, the main diet
consists of beer (see Beer), which Absorb them ogoromnyh
quantities.
Bill Geyts - (Beal valve) - a mutated
hacker, creator vyndovz (see suks), often used in conjunction
with the words of hacker mastday and suks.
Osdva - is unclear why suschestvuyaschaya on
light prog (see prog) absolyutno unnecessary to komputere
because, unlike vyndovz, _not_ pozvolyaet_ run miner and
tapeworm.
To be continued ...
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