Jokes
Run rabbits in the woods, they saw - losi.Okruzhayut
moose and they ask:
- Tough to eat?
- No.
- Then, from each of five and free.
The next day, running rabbits, meet
All the same moose.
- Tough to eat?
- No
- From each according to five and free.
Zamayalis moose and went to the wolf.
- Wolf, we'll be cool?
- No problem, guys, I will.
The next day, running rabbits in the woods,
encounter moose.
- Tough to eat?.
- Yes!
Elks rastupayutsya goes wolf. Rabbits make way, goes the bear.
- So, with a steep steward, with the rest of the top five!
*
A man a fish float lovit.Vidit Steels fluctuate. "Sooner
podcekat, puct swallow," thinks muzhik.Poplavok Steels has a
strongly kolebatcya. "Sooner, puct probably swallow," thinking
man. Poplovok ckrylcya under water, Rod - arc. A man excitedly
podcekaet and drags the bait on cebya. Worm flies out of the
water and yelling: - Man, are you stunned? I was a little fish
not celi!
*
Konchilic a peasant worms. What should I do? Found a sliver and
it napical: Kracny worm. " Only zabrocil bait - immediately
bite. Napryagaetcya guy, drags ... Look, and this log. And it
nadpic: "awesome bream.
*
Chapay Petya and drink vodka. Suitable Furmanov:
- Wow! Vodka! I would be the third!
- No - the fourth. Three we have already sent!
*
Chapay Petya and wash in the bath.
- Well, you have dirty feet, Vasily Ivanovich ...
- So I'm older than you will!
*
My wife tells her husband:
- I'll go wash my pocudu, but you still ickupay
daughter.
- Okay.
Spuctya some time out of the bathroom razdayutcya wild cries of
her daughter. Wife vce brocaet, runs into the bathroom and sees
a picture - a husband for volocy whips her daughter in the
bathroom, and she yells ictoshno. - What are you, a monster,
doing? Why should a volocy?
- Yes! And you porobuy The record in this boiling water!
*
Sit Petka and Vasily Ivanovich on the tree.
Suddenly, the tree fits and starts elephant
shake him.
Vasily Ivanovich, could here his nest?
-You're a fool Petka, they live in caves!
*
- Girl, you go out?
- Yes, get out.
- And you go ahead?
- Yes, go.
- And you were asked?
- Yes, ask.
- So what are you saying??
*
- Doctor, my head spin!
- Yes, I see myself ...
*
- You do not know what kind of monster?
- This is my wife.
- Oh, sorry, I did silly!
- No, I did that stupid.
*
Reaches into the packed tram girl:
- Skip, skip, skip to the pregnant woman.
- Excuse me, but where it is clear that you are pregnant?
- Oh right, what do you want me half an hour to be seen.
*
Jealous wife daily inspects the jacket of her husband, and for
every hair, found it, happy with his jealousy. Once she found no
hair and cried out:
- That's what you came, not even brezguesh
bald women!
*
Husband returning home from a hunt, call
his wife from the station:
- Mary, it's me. Going home.
- How to hunt, my dear?
- Everything is normal, the month will not buy
meat.
- You killed a moose?
- No, propyl salary.
*
- Johnny, why do you wear shoes in three
sizes smaller than needed?
- You see, my wife is ugly, sloppy, also poorly prepared, the
son learns ugly mother-in-law grumbled incessantly.
The only joy in my life
when I take off shoes in the evening.
*
Go to train two women: one young, one old and three men. Calls
in of the tunnel, the sound of the kiss
and after him - the sound of slapping.
Young thinks:
- That's it, old woman, kiss ... No to me
kiss!
Old thinking:
- Oh, you young people went. Kiss to the first counter!
The first man thinks:
- Once again I'll drop into a tunnel - once again a kiss!
Second thought:
- Once again, a kiss - once embedding!
Third thought:
- Once again vrezhut - at the next stop
I will go down! "
*
Sitting on the fence in two cocks: urban and rural. Bored.
Rustic here and says:
- Come on, is that it pokukarekaem?
- Let's go down to the cooking - at
naked chicken look.
*
Walking down the street granny, and she to meet completely
naked girl. Grandma was indignant: - What are you, my dear,
mad? - No, grandma, just in my erotic dress!
- So you have to first iron to iron
*
The husband comes home hungry.
- Wife, give me to devour!
- A magic word?
- Run ... your mother!
*
They sailed on the same ship, and a student dean.
The ship crashed against the rocks, and the two of them
stranded on the island of cannibals. Lead them to Leader:
- What to do with them?
- Students to feed, drink and sleep
lay, and with this I'll talk more about his
distribution!
*
