(C) Andrew Shkolnikov, Tim Spring, 1996.
END OF THE GREAT Russification
- It is your own?
- Uh ... Almost.
- What it means: "almost"?
- So, what is a poem
Thick, but I have distorted the.
NA Taffy. "The Forgotten Path".
Tongue hanging out of zeal, the Emperor of All
Galaxies surrounding nebulae, comets
And asteroids, As Well As A Planet Rakksla, Bodo she still
found to finishing his decree. Light Pen nasty creak on
holographic displays.
"236.12.7. And, last, sim declare
at all subservient to me planets, asteroids, space stations,
stars and comets beginning of the Great Russification.
Henceforth all my subjects are required ... "
Having added, the Emperor of All, etc. gleefully rubbed his
upper front pair of tentacles:
- Well, gentlemen, the rebels, let's see
you have to get out now?
*
And at this time on Lost in Space
very, very, very secret Rebel base Azaar, currently located at
coordinates [crossed out for reasons of privacy] is in full
swing it was a secret meeting of the Staff of the rebels.
- "Comrades! It dawned on me most unpleasant news! -
Nadsazhivalsya fat man on the podium speaker. - It concerns our
dastardly enemy, this vile despot! I I mean, His Imperial
Majesty. (He bowed in the direction of full-time imperial
informer. He raised his head from the pad and responded
casually nod.) He devised a new cunning plan! I know
hard to believe this, but ... he decided to start Russification
GREAT!
- No! - Choir students gasped. Even the informant took his
feet off the table and listened.
- Alas, yes! Not even worth talking to
what terrible consequences this may cause. Economy of the whole
galaxy will come in decline! Close down all factories that
produce furs Alloys, Narcotics, finally! .. Need to reorient
the entire production! And no one will never buy from you nor
ton elen itemsa! ..
He noisily slurped from the cup.
- But the brunt of Russification cause
for us, the rebels! Unfortunately, I can not convey to you the
tragic situation. But such is the will of the authors.
- Perhaps no authors do not exist? .. - Timidly suggested a
materialist skeptic. In space-time something blinked, and he
disappeared.
- So, - pause for a significant, continued the speaker. -
The authors, in all their ineffable wisdom and fairness, for
some mysterious reason for us to deem it necessary, that we are
all here expressed herself in Russian. So I can not in
fully clarify the situation. I will say one thing - in Russian
the whole problem and even the klyumpvistov concept loses all
meaning! Thus, we will automatically cease to be
insurgents, since klyumpvistah concluded
all of our disagreement with the infamous policy
Esteemed Emperor! (Another nod in the direction of the
informant.) Therefore, if the Great Russification carried out,
we will be forced to become law-abiding
citizens! And the next game will write about
someone else! What about the magicians ever! How can we prevent
it?
- No! - Again in unison roared hall.
- Fortunately, it was possible to take some
measures. Corporal Dzhonlan, I will ask you to enter the
rostrum.
The elevation went up a short, frail man. He nervously
adjusted his glasses and sighed into the microphone. It was
evident that he want to start with the command "Attention!",
and again can not, then he does not know how to be.
- Eeee ... - Dzhonlan said and paused.
The room applauded.
- We ... That is, I ... Well, yes ... In general,
I was patrolling a sector in the upper left corner of the
galaxy ... Yes, you know, there More cheap liquor! And stumbled
upon one planetke ... Nose cone, of course,
cake, but it's not about that. But on the whole brood planetke
clones - no, it is Blood is not, I already asked - translates
data on the planets! And all will Russification stem precisely
from there! So ... I I think ... In general, this thing ought
to stop. And then somehow wrong.
- Thank you, Cpl. Thus, one volunteer there. Corporal, close
your mouth! .. More volunteers?
*
- Yes, why do we need this android? - Fought back Dzhonlan.
- Do not argue, Corporal! For the price
it's quite a decent Android.
Yes its a little touch up - he did not wear
will! - Hot quartermaster. He has already suffered a major
defeat in a dispute with the paratroopers when he tried to
convince them how nice pass a mission with some knives and
without body armor. Now he is taking revenge.
- Well, tin, and what do you say? -
sour tone asked Dzhonlan in android.
- Are you at least somewhere serve?
- Deputy Commander for Research on
cargo ship Nostromo, "- began to creak
android. - Thereafter - Party Space Crusade. Personally
destroyed the detachment commander "Blood Angels" and was
awarded a nominal halberd from the clutches of very ... MMDA
... Well, you do not know.
- Not bad, not bad. Okay. Take.
This - er - androids we need. Only
podkinte then we still have a rocket launcher to
He was dragging her.
And the argument broke out with renewed vigor.
*
"Jihad", the only amphibious ship rebels, converted from the
captured Targonski the truck, running two pilots and a team of
commandos on board, was approaching the point giperperehoda.
The first pilot, Rosenkranz, lubricates the steering wheel
jammed and tried not to listen contradictory guidance
Monitoring Service, Flight Security, Coordinating Center for
the further transition and exercises on the flute of the second
pilot Guildenstern. Marines had nothing to do looked at the
window of outrunning them "Viper" with the proud inscription on
board the "Ace of Base ".
Giperperehod has already become a
to reality, as usual
Quark sublimation. But disputes about the nature of
subspace not abated since its discovery, and especially
aggravated when it was strictly proved its impossibility.
However, there was a hypothesis that subspace is quite possible
and even necessary, if we consider the whole world
as the volume data set in 40-50
thousands of bytes. But such monstrous amounts seemed absurd,
and the hypothesis was not very popular.
Whatever it was, the subspace
quickly mastered, stuffed, and there kontinuumokopateley
vakuumososov for tunneling and maintain them in working order.
True, at first often had failures, but with the advent of the
concept of channels and all flows returned to normal.
At last the tunnel opened into a subspace, and "Jihad"
slipped back to hitting lining the edge of the continuum. Star
merged in circles, jumped on the pilots and disappeared astern.
Atoms are twisted inside out, electrons to change the sign,
gravitons huddled in a heap on the starboard side, and one of
the most brash, showed Dzhonlanu language. Dzhonlan pretended
not to notice.
From all this cereal suddenly formed man in chain mail and a
two-handed ax. La-a-adril! C-and-igmar! Where are you
damn it! "- he cried plaintively and
walked away. On the left side sated licking his lips a huge
dragon, and on the right jumped a hefty egg with boxing gloves,
trying to look out the window.
- What is it? - Asked in surprise newcomer
Stone.
- Virtual worlds - do not understand explained to Rosenkranz.
- And it's not dangerous?
- Of course not! - A very honest voice replied Guildenstern,
trying not to watch dragon picking his teeth
strangely familiar piece of metal with the words "of Base".
Suddenly the screen turned black, it blinked and
missing vertical red stripes. Then the screen lit up even white
light. On the panel was lit red light blinked
and went out. Squealed siren. Blocking it,
rusty voice muttered: "All systems are functioning normally
been operating normally ... ... been operating normally ... "
- Something is spoiled? - Vied with each other
shouted the paratroopers.
- Do not worry ... - Began Rosenkranz,
jumping up from the pilot's seat.
- ... All in full ... - Continued
Guildenstern, rising from his seat.
- ... Okay! - Graduated Rosenkranz,
putting Guildenstern bandwagon. He fell to the filthy floor.
Rosenkranz fish jumped into the only escape pod. With a soft
rustle of the capsule has moved away from ship, and its further
fate is unknown even to the authors.
Rubbing his knee, and muttering something clearly
fuck about someone's mother, and Rakkslu
power supply, Guildenstern took the pilot's chair, rummaged in
the glove compartment, pulled out a huge wrench and hit them on
the dynamics. Mutterings ceased.
- Are you sure that it is not broke? - Hard-bitten again
asked Anderson.
- Well that you, as you can! - Answered
Guildenstern, and all were silent.
Took a couple of hours. Marines were dozing.
Guildenstern swore under his breath, something
gained on the ship's computer and the time
occasionally tossing a coin. For twenty minutes the ship had
already fled the white rabbit, looking at a huge pocket watch.
Suddenly, the overview screen again covered with circles,
behind the rabbit, and "Jihad" was back in the good old familiar
Space, a few light-bytes ...
sorry, minutes away from the planet of destination.
- Phew! - Wiped the sweat from his forehead Guildenstern.
- Profit! And then I already thought ...
- Show What? - Asked
Dzhonlan, as if by chance driving a clip
its Marsack.
- It does not matter - waved Guildenstern.
- Just when all the worlds mixed up ...
Glory to the authors, that all this is behind us.
But he was mistaken ...
*
Next to the imperial base stood a huge, downright monstrous
robot, frozen in a grotesque pose with the raised left foot.
- What is it? - Stone said.
- "Assassin" - explained Dzhonlan. - Robot-invader of
unknown race. The fastest of their robot. Say, a hundred years
ago, he was in-about-it's there.
- Wow - "Turner said. - And this
base, he does not want to take?
- Wants - Dzhonlan answered, and they went on.
- Well, tin - announced Dzhonlan,
when they approached the gateway - it's time you
display their talents. Be able to silently
open this gate?
- A couple of trivia, Cap - cheerfully gritted
android and limped toward the door.
- Only look, so no sound! -
Dzhonlan never trust robots.
To everyone's surprise, the android fulfilled
the job quickly and clearly. For some pair
minutes, he figured out the lock mechanism, yet
for half a minute, opened it, oiled hinges,
so as not to creak, very slowly so as not to hiss the air,
opened the gate and threw a grenade.
Sound deafening explosion. Dzhonlan
rose from the ground and spit out the sand. At the android, he
tried not to look.
- I'm just wondering - quietly and sincerely he said - what
a beast gave him this grenade? I beat him I will not, I told him
just want to look into the eyes.
- This is it! - Stone and shouted in chorus
Anderson, pointing at each other, as Turner suggested:
- Quartermaster, perhaps?
*
Ironically, in the airlock to
no one expected. Only from the barrel, cracked from the
explosion of a grenade, flowed a river of molten lava. Marines
carefully skirted the lava and deep into the corridor of the
base. Forward with an almost common consent allowed to android.
At first glance, the corridor was not
anything suspicious. Only the bold and
slimy artang with gravimetry over the shoulder
hotly argued about something with arksinom. Marines immediately
guessed that it was arksin, form the second joint middle pair
of legs, though they saw it the first time in the past were not
even aware of their existence.
Passing got excited disputants,
Dzhonlan deftly pulled gravimetry artanga shoulder and could
not resist to immediately it does not try.
He directed the muzzle directly on artanga and pulled the
trigger. Nothing happened. He shook gravimetry, clicked some
levers and pressed again. Again nothing happened.
- I always suspected that they were bluffing - Dzhonlan
sighed, hanging gravimetry in place.
After the turning screams. Tossing
Marsack, Dzhonlan hurried there. But anxiety
proved to be false. Anderson simply by opening
next door, found her a huge moss-covered trunk. Knocking the
castle, he put his hand into the chest and proudly showed the
rest of the handful of diamonds.
To its misfortune, the detachment was airborne
Woman - Harris. With flushed through the eyes of Harris rushed
to the chest. Anderson, certainly knew how unwise it is to
become between a woman and what she wants, but
relied on the vest. When ran
Corporal Harris, Anderson has put her head in the chest and
measured processed his pistol. Others stared in fascination, as
the android mumbled something about the laws of Asimov.
With the utmost gallantry Dzhonlan
she placed the barrel to the back Marsack, persuaded Anderson
to release, and took the diamonds "to the needs of the
insurgents."
- We know your needs! - Muttered Harris and Anderson gave
the cuff.
- If I was a clone and led the Great Russification, I would
have kept the data banks here - Anderson said, opening the door
to a small room. No Banks was not there, and there was only
small box, sparkling with multicolored
lights.
Anderson angrily kicked the box, and lights
extinguished. Suddenly there was a headset paratroopers
powerful bass:
- Krenon! Krenon! Can you hear me? Kurt Lewin said. They all
stopped! You Do you hear? All the robots rose up!
Marines looked at each other in surprise.
- Well, here already, you probably need to be
Databases! - Anderson announced, opening the next door. Here in
the stomach it Bound by the barrel of a heavy laser in the
hands of Nelson, an officer-clone.
Standing on the sides of two clones simultaneously wince
Marsack closures, and more one behind the check pulled out a
grenade.
- Ambush! - Anderson yelled, throwing
rifle and raising his hands. Stone, muttering:
"We have to work around them from the rear, quietly slipped into
the nearest corridor. The remaining Marines
threw down their arms in unison.
Only the android is not lost. He
squeaked a dull voice:
- You are surrounded, resistance is futile, throw their arms
and leave one with hands raised - and raised his phlegmatic
pistol.
One clone hastily dropped the rifle and
raised his hands. Dzhonlan cried in horror:
- Do not shoot, you idiot!
Android as phlegmatic dropped pistol. Everyone looked at the
clone, frozen with his arms raised. He blushed and bent over
his M-4000. That's when it all started.
A wild shriek, paralyzing all life and
dead within a radius of ten miles, filled
room. "Assassin", a robot-invader
unknown race, ran from the base of heels
(Although this is only noticed after fifty years). Troopers
threw back into the corridor, but more sensitive clones fell to
the floor, clutching his ears with his hands.
Harris, continuing to scream, backed away,
otshvyrnuv her purse and taking from it
sight. In her eyes froze ineffable
horror. From her purse and was peeping shabby
extremely dissatisfied with the rat snout.
First came to his senses Dzhonlan. "Run!" -
he cried, grasping his Marsack. Over the screaming no one
heard, but the same idea visited all the paratroopers at a time.
All bravely took to their heels. Newest
Dzhonlan running away, dragging the still
screeching Harris. Anderson, running the first
disgusting smirk and quite rubbed his hands.
The rat was his joke.
*
Tightening once again, they reached an impasse, ending the
door. Anderson opened the door, but then shut again, and fell
on her back. For the door was a Soul Separator - a hefty
predatory Monster in the strongest chitin armor. Y
Murderers had their scores with humanity
since the days of Space Crusade.
- Oh my God, that something like this was!
- Anderson panted, struggling leaning on the door. Behind the
door groaned Soul Separator:
- Oh my God, why me these glitches ...
Amazement Harris stopped screaming,
and paratroopers finally caught their breath.
- I think the issue has been exhausted? - Asked
Dzhonlan. - Let Russified, eh?
- Generally, Marines Laser Platoon fearless and never back
down - Stone said, again joined the
detachment.
- Who says a retreat? - Outraged Dzhonlan. - But if we do
not appear Deus Ex Mahina ...
Corridor ceiling above them sag a huge bubble. They jumped
and opened mouths, watched as the bubble bursts, leaving the
molten hole in the ceiling, and how through that hole right in
the corridor space boat sinks very unusual shape.
- Deus Ex Mahina ... - Reverence
whispered Turner. - Nakarkali ...
Luke strange boat was flung open, and fell out ... mermaid
not a mermaid, but rather poluzhenschina-poluzmeya, and both
halves can not be called thin.
Smartly twisting, she crept down the hallway past the
troopers. But Dzhonlan at critical times always had fast
reaction. Less than a second, he put Marsack to fuse and
delicately held the snake, a mermaid in a place where,
Judging by the belt, it implies in his waist.
- Excuse me, madam, - politely but firmly said the corporal,
- but there can not be. There can be dangerous.
- My name Traum! - Hissed a mermaid and a deft movement of
the twisted poluobyaty Dzhonlana. Gave him look from head to
toe and snapped: "namby-pamby!". Looked back at the others and
sighed: "And these are no better ..."
Then pushed forward an android. Pointing at Traum elongated
finger, he asked: "Sarah Connor?". Ignoring it attention, Traum
crept along the corridor.
- A thousand pardons, madam! - Shouted
after her coming to his senses Cpl. - But there
clones! They, you know, shoot first, and
only then look ...
- Ah, the clones ... - Dreamily held out
Traum and licked her half-meter forked tongue. - They are so
strong! .. Beautiful! .. Brave! .. Not what you are!
- But, dear Traum! The same clones were not
Captain Blood! I specifically asked!
- Oh, what a difference! - Dismissed
Traum tail and disappeared around the bend.
By Dzhonlanu came android.
- Sarah Connor? - He asked again,
pointing in the direction in which
disappeared Traum.
- Listen, tin, you do not have hidden
of his biography? - Asked Cpl.
- Sarah Connor? - Insisted android.
- No, it's Traum. She is from a race
Ondonayte. They've got some women. Remember
once ...
On the other side, where crept away Traum,
came a cry, a few shots and
roar of the fall of something heavy.
- Poor Traum - Anderson sighed.
- Poor clones - corrected him Dzhonlan. - Come take a look?
..
*
The room where clones are ambushed them a bit
earlier, looked like a dragon's lair,
awakened earthquake. Two clones
flattened in the mats, lying on the floor.
Traum painstakingly pounded the third to narrow the gap between
the data bank and a wash basin, and the remaining clones were
looked on with horror this with the cabinets. In the corner,
tied to a chair, long-bearded old man was bored.
- And this man for what? - Asked Dzhonlan y
nearest clone.
- Sabotaged Great Russification -
said the clone from the top of the cabinet. - Wrote
on the wall "Old man was here".
- Save me! - Oral clone, dodging Traum. - Remove this fool!
I never in my life I will not do Russify!
- It's for sure! .. - Bloodthirsty Harris grinned.
- A robot may not harm humans or through inaction, allow
If a person is injured - muttered android, raised shoulder
rocket launcher and fired at Traum.
Databases in the corner turned into a pile of trash.
Accident clone spread across wall. Traum looked a little
stunned, but did not upset, especially because of the
concussion two clones fell from cupboards.
Harris looked at the android with respect.
- And do not try - said Dzhonlan. - Her
Planetary annihilator not take.
Meanwhile, Stone went to the wreckage
data banks, rummaged through a pile of electronic
giblets and fished very long tape. He looked her in the light.
- Wow! Wow .. And I wonder how
They moved ... Fu, vulgar!
He threw the tape on the floor and released on
fragments of the queue.
- I think that clones us some time
will not bother - said Dzhonlan. -
Come on, look for where there is more data banks.
They moved, carefully avoiding Traum
party. Following them came the cry from the shelf:
- Just do not shoot in a room where
a lot of drums! These same two hours will explode!
*
- In which the editor did this maze? - Indignantly asked
Turner where corridor along which they walked, ran into
edge of the screen. - Again, have to return ...
- Wait, wait! - Suddenly shouted
Anderson. - Look here button!
Before anyone could stop him, Anderson pushed the button.
Camouflaged hatch swung open.
- What a mess! .. - Exhaled paratroopers. Before them stood
a huge skimmer, hung with a mountain of weapons, and
obessmerchenny Russified to indecency. On his board was still
possible to discern nameplate "CRL". Over it in bold red
letters, was hastily daubed "THD".
- And can we take him instead of our
pan? - Timidly asked Stone. - Suddenly
There can disable immortality ...
Dzhonlan threw a grenade into the hatch skimmer.
- Heard about the Fifth Galaxy? - He asked. - There's one
here, too, because - let's get, let's take it! ". And now They
polgalaktiki supernova! Better let's see if we have not missed
any Bank.
*
Guildenstern was sitting in the open hatch
"Jihad", his legs dangling outside. He gazed thoughtfully at
the sun, sitting down in the east, and humming an old song
Programmers: "STEP STEP circle yes ...".
- Already? - He asked.
- Already - nodded Dzhonlan.
- Then, climb up.
The last thing they saw Marines in
this strange planet, where the "Jihad" has already
raised, was a huge worm, quickly crawling underneath. For worm
chasing a man with a half-eaten apple in his hand, and for man
- a gigantic monster, similar to the hippo, masquerading as an
armored personnel carrier.
*
The Emperor looked up from a crystal ball and crunching
squared shupaltsa.
- Well done, - he said. - Mission
completed. Load next mission?
