How to educate parents
(R) TB Makarova
Illustration: (C) Alexey Antipov (Goblin)
"If your parents are still alive -
give them Labre Just ".
(From the TV ads).
ak educate parents
(A brief guide for children from 5 to 105 years)
The author, a young psychologist, let alone educate their
parents, shares with the reader tips on their upbringing. Book
useful not only children but their parents, if they already
know how to read such things.
*
My mom Irishenke,
Sasha and my dad
my grandmother Polinochke
dedicated.
From the author
We often hear: "I have such bad parents! They
completely trained, they do not know how to behave, they talk
back, considered neither of whose opinions, make outlandish and
causing actions, do all to spite and continually provoke me to
anger by their behavior. "ideal parents are not - I say - and
how many time you take the education of the parents? Have you
tried to understand them? Have you tried to find out how to
live your roditelenok what his problems and dreams of what he
wants to achieve in life? ". If not - so what do you want?
Educating parents - is long and painstaking work, parents
should not bring one day. Education of parents can not deal
with fits and starts - on the weekends or in the morning before
going to school. This important matter should be devote much
time to be invested his heart and soul in the education of
their parents, and only then you get feedback and you will not
regret the time spent. How to do it in practice? That's what I
tell in his book.
Again Psychology roditelenka
Roditelenok - impressionable and vulnerable creature.
Practice shows that roditelyata poorly adapted to life, they
often do not understand its laws, they are naive and shy.
Roditelenku help cope with their fears - your main task. For
example, you want to leave roditelenka for a couple of days to
go a hike with friends. Often roditelyata thus begin to act up,
shouting, stomping feet, even crying. Do not be afraid - it is
very common reaction. Rare roditelenok is independent so that
for a long time to be alone without you. Very bad if education
roditelenka you decided to start at this moment - a frightened
and stubborn roditelenok completely deaf to reason. Excitement,
mixed with a desire to infuse at its close up his mind from the
world of a blank wall. What to do in this situation?
First, you should never cry in response to roditelenka,
stomp your feet, or even what was missing, crying. Be mature
and respectable! Behave with dignity, your speech should be
calm, confident, legible, clear and simple roditelenku. You
should not use complicated terms which values your
roditelenok may not yet know: "nishtyachnaya party", "retard
golimo", "breaks off high" and so on. Talk to roditelenkom on
his tongue, then it will be easier for you to understand.
Secondly, in any case not to be rude roditelenku not call it
bad words - is nepedagogichno and does not give the desired
educational effect. In addition, he may remember these words
and start using them in a conversation with you to the place
and not to the site - such cases are not uncommon. Be very
careful and friendly to stubbornly roditelenku. However,
remember that excessive syusyukanya should be avoided. If
roditelenok begins to boast his age and a hint to your less -
explain to him that he was wrong. Tell us what Gaidar 14 years
have commanded the regiment, and the age he did not interfere,
while roditelenok in his later years still does not command the
regiment. (If roditelenok - Colonel, come up with another
argument). Remember that roditelyata roditelyatami always
remain, and even if you are more than forty years, they still
behave like roditelyata, of course, if you have them properly
educated.
Thirdly, we should well understand that at the moment is going
a fellow roditelenka which they are driven by motives - and
proceed precisely from this. For example, if the departure of a
couple of days often roditelyata are afraid that with you
something happens and they will remain all alone. Roditelenok
can also stubborn just to insist on his and assert themselves.
Possible in this case and other reasons - perhaps roditelenku
your presence is required at home during those days, maybe he
hoping for your help, that you walked with him to the shops,
Will play in weeding potatoes in the country and so on.
Therefore, your actions must be different.
In the first case, you have to calm roditelenka, explain to
him that you did not happen and you'll soon be back.
In the second case it is necessary to explain roditelenku as
bad to be selfish. And you can go the other way - give way to
chemto give roditelenku opportunity to prove myself and a few
pokapriznichat, but only so that it does not affect your
departure.
In the third case, perhaps you should really stay home -
after all, if so roditelenok needs you this day, it would be
wrong of you to throw him one (or other roditelenkom) in
difficult for him minute. Take a walk with him, play in weeding
potatoes. But not It should also be kept haughtily, explaining
that the game in a silly potato - still grow by only three, as
in the past summer, and you played it just to entertain
roditelenka. If you can not really play with roditelenkom -
useless from your tutor. The next chapter will discuss
education of parents.
*
oditelskie fears
Parental fears - the subject of much discussion. They are so
vast and many-sided, that in this chapter, we touch only the
most typical of them.
Fear pozdnoty - perhaps the most common of fears
roditelenka. Roots, he goes to the days when primitive
people lived in caves, out of which at night was a very
dangerous thing. Therefore, all the ancestors of our parents
were afraid for our with your ancestors, when they went hunting
and the night did not come back - not whether the nibbled them
there mammoths? At a time when mammoths disappeared, fears
parents stayed. Therefore, the majority of parents with the
arrival of darkness and night telecasts begin to restless and
often make foolish actions - for example, call your friends or
police. Why do they do it, roditelyata, as a rule, clearly can
not explain: "Well, it's ... Eleven in the evening ... And you
do not ... What to do? "- A typical response roditelenka.
Stupidity with calls can be prevented. If your phone
policeman roditelyata remember from an early age, phone Your
friends can get in their naughty little hands just because your
carelessness. Do not throw your notebook in a prominent place
when you leave the house and leave the parents alone
unattended. If your roditelenok has a strong fear pozdnoty,
stick every time to your friends, and you have then be ashamed
of it - to record phone in a special way For example, change
the places of two numbers. Waking up a couple of times
strangers saying: "Hello, I'm Masha's mother, and heard in the
response to the corresponding expressions on the same topic,
your roditelenok quickly unlearn this bad habit.
However, this extreme measure. For the same education should
teach parents to be patient and calm. To do this safely say
that you leave and return later, to a certain time. Name the
exact time of return, and immediately roditelenok be quiet. If
you are late - always call and tell me about it roditelenku,
calling the new date of return. Remember that roditelyata very
curious, so tell them in advance, where you go. Even if you're
going to just walk - name the streets, which will go, and the
purpose of walks - for example, "See the illuminations."
Destinations and routes can not follow the complete accuracy,
but do not have an explicit lie. Roditelenok can also learn how
to lie, and it will bring you much trouble. Though sometimes it
is compulsory. For example, if your roditelenok restless - do
not let the phone the place where you go, say that they
themselves did not know it, or create any fairy tale - say that
there is charge the phone or live there roditelyata who go to
bed early, or, conversely, themselves waiting for an important
call. To appease roditelenka, give him my word that call them
yourself, and really call and talk to him a little. In this
conversation should not be a long, short conversation should be
explained as follows: "I can not say any more, then someone
else's phone." Agree, the argument rather strange, but his
parents, he works perfectly.
Fear is bad. In contrast to the fear pozdnoty, in this case
roditelenok knows the reason of fear. He may be afraid that you
sick, get into bad company, become a drug addict, roditelenkom
dropping out of school, college, graduate school. Fears may be
very different, your task - to understand roditelenka and
reassure him. Explain to him that without his hat to you and so
warm that your friends - wonderful people, tell the good
details about They and their parents (roditelyata love to hear
about their peers) Show neprokolotye vein (this will convince
the parents that your companies do not smoke marijuana),
explain that once you are still not dropped out of school,
college, graduate school, it means not to quit and further.
There can be no accurate advice - try to find its approach to
roditelenku.
Fear of unknown. Roditelyata - very impressionable beings.
However, they still know little about the world and are afraid
of everything that they do not known. Roditelyata always pay
much attention to everything with you, Observing and thinking
about different things. At the same time they can scare your
hair, jeans, music, jewelry, posters on the wall or your words
or thoughts. This is normal. Your task - to effectively and
patiently explain roditelenku that: 1) Everyone has the right
to their own tastes, while it would be strange, If your tastes
are completely identical; 2) In your tastes, there is nothing
unnatural, it is now fashionable and everybody does it. To many
parents, for some reason acts argument "all". Show roditelenku
beautiful, good article from his favorite newspaper, which
tells about your music or your ring in his nose; 3) Your tastes
are not worse taste roditelenka. Prove it difficult, but
possible. Difficult because many roditelyata naive following
principle: "What is not mine - something wrong." If it talking
about music, typical argument roditelenka: "How can you listen
to such filth." Remember, "crap" - is an epithet. And to answer
the epithet "No, that's cool" - is unreasonable. Be smarter,
let roditelenok thinks along with you and will understand the
absurdity of their views. Ask him to explain what he calls
"Filth", ask for clarification before until roditelenok not
point you to the specific details, such as "stupid words" or
"moronic sort of" singer. Ask what style of music he loves
roditelenok to find among the music song with even more stupid
words or a singer with a strange kind - usually do it quite
easily.
omplex usefulness
Often suffer from complex roditelenok usefulness. This is
manifested in an effort to show that it is more important, and
do everything differently. Remember: do not spoil roditelenka,
but not necessary keep it in excessive rigor. Immediately
decide which moods Your roditelenka you agree to perform, and
what does not. Try as much as possible to give roditelenku in
the details, and important issues for you to get their way.
Make a list of questions that you need to pamper roditelenka,
and a list of issues that need to educate the roditelenka
respect to another man, announce the list of roditelenku - and
in the future, always Follow these lists. In roditelenka must
develop the reflex to those questions, in which he must not be
capricious.
Selecting the right questions (to begin training no more than
odnogodvuh) and make sure he is right, you can start to
parenting. Know once and for all to have his own by any means,
until leaving the house. In no case do not let roditelyatam
beat you with her little hands and generally try to apply to
you Silenko. Do not beat parents! Calmly explain to them why
they behave properly, and threatened what it means for them end
in the near future (for example, your departure from home to
some time). Do not let the impossible promises, promises
exactly keep. Never do anything "out of spite," maliciously.
Always calm and friendly roditelyatam explain why the
circumstances (or rather, they themselves) force you to do so.
Roditelenok must see you are not the enemy, and his other. Make
friends with roditelyatami. It would really work. Perhaps not
the first time, but who said that education roditelenka done in
one day? At the same time underline that in some other
questions you unquestioningly indulge whims roditelenka. This
method of carrots and sticks can find common ground with
roditelyatami, educating them and at the same time indulging
their complex usefulness.
aklyuchenie
Here you will read the book. It is time to give the latest
tips. Do not neglect the education of roditelenka! Remember
roditelenok - your mirror, it copies all over you. See this is
easy: if you behave rudely with him, he will tell you the same.
AND Conversely, kind and sincere attitude towards roditelenku
you achieve what your roditelyata will just silk. Success you
are in the education of parents!
End.
