38 1 / 2
or
Big Mac in Texas
(C) Morozov,
7 "A" class
School 91
Illustrators:
Alexander Filyanov (FIL / Antares)
Nick Ionov (i.soft)
Alexei Antipov (Goblin)
Film Studio Fax XX Century "is a thriller-a joke!
Producer - Yuri Morozov.
Starring:
Steep Walker, Texas police officer - Chuck Norris
Mary Jane Gloria - Pamela
Catharine, Susan, Liz - Anderson
(Girlfriend, a student at the Law Faculty, University of Texas)
Black Bill, the authority
Texas-based group - Sylvester Stallone
"Sunny Bad Boys"
Major Isaev, Head of Department for Combating
Organized crime - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Co-starring:
Tom Cruise
Vyacheslav Tikhonov
Oleg Menshikov
Kim Basinger
In the episodes:
Riot Brigade Cherepovets;
Exemplary garrison of the Far Eastern Military District;
students were 91.
Directed by:
Zalman King
Andron Mikhalkov-Konchalovsky
The creators are also grateful to staff at the restaurant
Mc'Donalds Arbat Street, Solntsevskaya gang - for their
assistance.
Act I
Noon.
Office of Inspector Texas Police Hardball Walker.
Range of a mess with computers, printers, scanners, iPods,
bestsellers. Midst of all this in a leather chair, a leather
jacket, leather boots sprawled himself Walker, deep in thought
dropping ash from Havana cigars on the Persian carpet. He chews
a hamburger. He was concerned the increase in crime in the
state. (Opens door). With the noise it enters Mary Jane, with a
backpack, a miniskirt and in tears. She drops her desperation
to "Pentium-2" "Criminal Code of the Russian Federation "and,
stuffing a hamburger into his mouth, said:
M-J: We can not go on vacation in Antalya. I flunked
"Criminal Law in Russia" and now I have to take the exam fee.
KU (Cool Walker): Too bad. We were just in June, delayed wages,
and the prize will not give. Not disclosed a series of
audacious robberies gang Sunny Bad Boys.
M-J: I'll have to earn. I agreed in the bakery at
Mc'Donalds-e. I will prepare the dough for the big poppies.
DF: Okay. And I'll do my thugs.
M-J pulls out of a backpack bag with a hamburger, both together
and chew sigh.
Act II
Night. Central prairie. Comfort of your cactus
clearing members of the gang discuss the plan next
plaque. Says Bill Black:
BW: I know a diamond from this girl. She got the ring in
inheritance from his grandmother. Her great-grandfather was a
pirate and seized a vessel belonging to an Arab sheik. Diamond
worth a fortune but this girl has no idea. Your task - to steal
it and to bring here.
Bandits approving roar.
ACT III
Morning. Bakery. M-J ready for work. She wears an apron
front of a huge vat of dough. Here she took off the hands of a
ring, a gift grandmother, and wants to put it in his pocket
apron. Unexpectedly flung open the window and it collapse and
people with guns in masks.
M-J: Oh ..
(In fright drops the ring in the tub).
Act IV
Day. Rancho Black Bill "concrete jungle". BW itself in
extreme fury yells at his gang:
BW: fuckers! You just have to trade down jackets at wholesale
Dallas! I need a ring! Why do I need this stupid kneading?
Friend of BW, a sharp eye and steady hand 'brother nicknamed
Ginger Val, soothes the boss:
PB: No problem, boss. A couple of hundred bucks - and our
bakery, not to mention about the tub with the test. And with it
the ring. After all, nobody knows about it.
The action of the fifth.
There, after two hours.
PB: Chefs, bummer! Our dough into a passage that is in flight.
From this already made cakes and sent to Moscow. It was the
export order for the Russian Mc'Donalds-ah! We were late to the
airport for three seconds.
BW: Goats! .. (More untranslatable idioms lasting one and a half
minutes). Quickly to harness my own personal Boeing "Wild
Mustang." We fly to Moscow!
(Close-Up: aircraft, loading turmoil. Unnoticed in the luggage
compartment sneaking figure of a woman with a backpack and a
hamburger).
There are six.
Evening. Office Hardball Walker. There on a Persian rug - all
police department. It was knocked down in the search for the
missing Walker's girlfriend. Sam Walker nervously shakes off
the ashes from Havana cigar in the bay CD-ROM "Pentium-2.
Suddenly, squealing fax.
KU reads: "Private Jet boss nicknamed 'ChB'v 16.30
headed east, coming from the airfield, "Central prairie.
In the luggage, possibly packed with a woman. "
KU: Prepare my business airplane "White Eagle"! Of 24 tons
kerosene, the same amount of whiskey and 38 hamburgers. We are
flying in the chase.
The action of the seventh.
After two days in Moscow.
Petrovka 38. The Cabinet of General watchful. For oak
dvuhtumbovym table on an oak chair, wearing boots and a "White
Sea" sits General himself. In his hand was a stale bagel home.
He thoughtfully looks at the monitor "Electronics 32VTTS-202.
On screen - the game "Minefield", written by his son Vitalkoy
Nicknamed the "Wolfhound". Stretch my legs under the table
prevents the wallows there was once a former snow-white
mini-tower "GRM 2 +. Before the general stands at attention in
Major Isaev.
Gene.: And yet, dear, this is an unusual little case of the
abduction rolls. This is the fifth Mc'Donalds over the past two
days! Take only buns. Oddly, my friend, very strange! All hope
for you. I somehow do not like hamburgers. (Tries to bite a
donut). Fro by Mc'Donalds-am, my dear, think head, you paid for
it paid. By evening, waiting for you with the results.
MI: Yes, comrade general!
Action восьмое
Noon. Arbat. Mc'Donalds. At the table - Major Isaev. He
tired intelligent face. Sergeant Udalov puts before him a tray.
On tray - 38 Big Mac and a cup of tea.
MI (chewing): Strange, very strange ...
The action of the ninth
Ibid.
Bursts Black Bill and his henchmen. They stayed at a currency
exchange office, changed the last dollars for rubles.
BW (panting, cashier): - Big poppies at all! (Throws his arms
on the counter rubles).
Cashier: No, come to an end. Recent took here is the sergeant
mufti.
The action of the tenth
Novy Arbat street. Movement is blocked. Disciples 91-th
school were talking among themselves:
- In! Right now, again, "hog" go!
On the prospect lands plane Hardball Walker from it on the go
pop cops, led by KU and out of breath running to the
"Smolensk" in Mc'Donalds.
Pupils (Chorus): Cool-o!
The action of the eleventh
Mary Jane, panting, on the move doedaya burger, flies in
restaurant.
The action of the twelfth
Bandits surround Major Isaev. He choked with surprise a large
piece of the Big Mac, starts wheezing, coughing and falls
unconscious.
Turmoil.
The cashier calls an ambulance, Sergeant Udalov - the special
squad and fire brigade; Cool Walker and his guys are handcuffed
to the Black Bill and gang members. At this time, Mary Jane
quietly having finished up a hamburger, does Major Isaev
artificial breath, as she had been taught in nursing school at
the University.
Major begins to breathe, coughing, and his mouth falls
ring.
(Close up): diamond, sparkling with all the faces.
The action of thirteen.
A year later. Texas.
Mary Jane autumn evening sitting by the fireplace in his house.
In one her hand burger in the other - "Russian Criminal Code."
Near it in the cradle peacefully snuffle babe.
Suddenly, squealing fax.
Mary Jane reads: "Darling, for dinner late. The meeting with
the Senator. Kiss. I love you. Your husband Colonel FBI Mr.
Isaeff.
The action of fourteen.
Flat Mary-Jane. At the table - Colonel Isaeff. Mary Jane
one hand holds a half-eaten hamburger, the other - "Criminal
Code of the Russian Federation. "
Colonel: Be aware, my dear, the third attempt to pass the exam
- the last one. Departure from the University - the bakery
going. Need to know was that the jewels of Russia can not
export!
Mary-Jane looked wistfully on the middle finger of his left
hand. There, in place of the ring, remained white stripe
nezagoreloy skin.
At this moment there was crying.
Curtain)
Weeping increases.
And the viewer can not understand who is crying - baby awake
or poor, unhappy his mother ...
Eppie-end will not be
[The film was shot on film Shostka production association "St
