Bus
Early spring. Chirping birds, the sun warms, and
have already begun to melt the snow turned into a sticky
brown-brown porridge.
Hung with string bags granny in a quilted jacket and boots
with galoshes, heavy, nervous trot trying to overtake gets
under way Icarus. Salon with interest for her, shy
passers-by and fly spray.
Once at a canter, granny desperate jerk
gets the same in the back door of the bus, and vporhnuv the
stairs she tries to stop, but his hands are busy string bags.
The driver, a belatedly noticed an increase in passenger stock,
probably the most luchshix motives, presses on the brake every
vsex forces. Inside the bus who stood perfectly still unhappy
grandmother receives additional acceleration and zapnuvshis,
goes to solo flight, uttering heart-rending cry vsex
superintendents - "Bo-o-and-a-ya-ah!" The whole cabin started.
A young man in a light gray coat, intelligent-looking
stood near the driver's cabin, and he did not see the
approaching opastnosti and when he heard behind him is, he
turned. About sixty pounds of live weight grandmother applied
to him head-butting below the belt.
With a groan tixim guy bends. Before him kolenyax,
litsom buried in the place of impact, it is worth grandmother.
He would dearly like it hugs ...
Inside ambivalent feelings - men tremble,
women having fun on the soul. The position of the characters
recalls not "The Return of the Prodigal Son with exchanging
characters, not the execution of public blow job.
The driver, apparently deciding that everything is already
on mestax and all have It is well, hoping to catch a zelyny
lights, pretty frisky touches. Sculptural group near his car
does not stand up and collapses.
A guy falls down and presses his grandmother under them.
Slightly shell-shocked, she frantically tries to get the guy
lying on the It can not straighten up, and trying to crawl
away, becomes entangled in beschislennyx babkinyx yubkax and
avoskax, that from time to time throws at him in the leg felt
boot ...
Baraxtayas so they plucked a few
maloizvestnyx poses from the Kama Sutra, but for some reason do
not stop none of the nix.
Salon in ecstasy.
Finally they manage to leave. Light-gray coat, after such
sexuality has become indistinguishable from the grandmother's
quilted jackets. Knackered young man looks into xoxochuschy
salon, not endure, it beats that there are forces in the face
with his neighbor and then out of the bus.
All this happened within three minutes ...
(Borrowed from Vitaly Greenberg)
Oda KOMARu
(Dedicated to the sleepless nights from 28 to 29)
(C) Werewolves
- These creatures,
mosquitoes, well ...
chewed as beavers ...
(Gaza)
So, KOMAP. This ugly insect hated by all
fibers of human (it is suspected that an animal) soul
because of some features, called in scientific circles as
PARASITISM or Vampire (the latter is more upotrebimo). KOMAP,
high-pitched ringing his little ugly wings, flies,
usually at the most inopportune moment (received information
that appropriate moments do not exist) over the victim and a
long and Cloyingly selects a landing site (to bite).
-: Here we have to make a reservation: KOMAP feeds
EXCLUSIVELY blood.
If at the time of landing the victim, for various reasons
do not felt something bite. KOMAP endowed by nature ...
-: Historical Error: "Nature - Our Mother" - is
long and fatal mistake of mankind was
not debunked in one night and not one person.
If nature has created such as ABOMINATION KOMAP, then
Nor can it be the Mother!
KOMAP endowed by nature (Preserve nature, your mother!) Thin
and an elongated proboscis, altered in nature (.....)
rictus. At the end of the proboscis is pointed in such a
way that vtyrkivaetsya absolutely all (eg, mad
KOMARy rush to the children's inflatable balls ...).
After a brief sighting, KOMAP waving and
thrust their noses where not needed (will not be!). Usually,
This time the victim (if not asleep or drunk) is an acute,
THIN itching. It's not too late ... - Profit vile creature!
Here are some tips. If KOMAP settled on his face - not
is hitting his hands, trying to get at random (70% of what he
have time to escape (!!...!...!!!!...!...!..!!)). Take your time
(Still have to be itchy), try to determine exactly in
what place zhiruet KOMAP. Slowly and deliberately (and God's
sake, without stirring - GO AWAY IN FACT, Padley!) raise your
hand (you can two for loyalty) to the level where it is
supposed KOMAP, and ... vmazhte as much as possible. If you get
into the goal (!!!), and face will be a bloody mess from
KOMARa, you will experience a feeling comparable only with ...
blissful buzz and excitement, mixed with sadism and the desire
to profit is a couple of dozen KOMARov.
If you promazhete, apart from the bruises, you're bound
feel cruelly deceived. In 99% of the victims jumped up and
grasping the hands of a newspaper, a towel (a stool, a hammer,
sneakers ...) starts chasing KOMARom in impotent rage by hitting
everything. In 2% of cases, you will catch is that ugly and
will beat ITS. At 10% you will see a couple more KOMARov and
100% of what you will trying to kill them.
There are several features in nailing KOMARa on the walls.
First: swinging, you are in raptures smears creature on the
wall, after which it remains beautiful brown spots (some
KOMARONENAVISTNIKOV these spots dot and ceilings). Second,
more humane way (with respect to the walls): KOMARa cover
jar. After that swept KOMAP is trapped.
Overfishing so all KOMARov, they may be passing
finger directly at the bank. But you can (!!!) to put the bank
on Slow fire .... Pour hot water ... Filled with smoke ...
Private KOMARONENAVISTNIKI leave the bank alone and with
Schadenfreude KOMARov NOT FEED Watching starving to death ...
What is positive is a KOMARa? Perhaps only two
features. First: KOMAP-biting is her femaleness
(Tiffany). Guys also eat pollen (well what does not
romance?). The second and last: the larva is nothing KOMARa
other than Motyl, which you can fish.
Quietly hated KOMARa Werewolves.
