Henry Kuttner
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Needless to blame for this mistake Jr.
Angel. He was given a new halo, and indicated
desired planet, and he, feeling clear
pride for the trust, comply with
all instructions. It happened when he
first instructed to make a man a saint. After landing in Asia,
he was at the entrance to the grotto, which opens onto one of
Himalayan peaks. His heart was pounding with excitement when he
entered the cave, preparing to materialize and give the Great
Lame him fairly well-deserved award. Ten years of Tibetan
ascetic Kai Yang sat motionless, steeped in sublime
contemplation, spent the next ten on top of the pillar, and
the last ten lived in this cave hermit, forgetting
all earthly things.
Junior Angel crossed the threshold of the cave and
surprise froze. He obviously got the wrong
place. Strong smell of sake struck him in the
nose, he stopped short and
horror, stared at the small, dried old man who, sitting on the
hearth, roasted leg of lamb. Truly a cave of the Prophet!
As expected, the younger angel
knowing nothing about the fate of the world, could not
understand what caused the fall of the Grand Lama. Huge jug of
sake left in entrance to the cave by some careless believers
looked very tempting, Lama and tried it, and then another and
another. In This time it was the worst candidate
in the saints.
Junior Angel hesitated. User
was quite unambiguous: not drunk
could wear the halo. Lama loud and hiccupped
reaching for another cup of sake. Seeing this, the angel
immediately spread its wings and flew off injured in the best
feelings. In a mid-western states of North America there is a
small town with called Tibet. Who will accuse the angel in
that he landed here and
After a brief search found a man
which is clearly ripe to
become a saint? His name, as reported by plaque on the door of
a small house, it was K. Young. <Maybe I misunderstood?
"Thought the younger angel. -I am told that his name is Kai
Yang. Here, Tibet, then this should be it. In any case, the
saint he looks like. Where were my halo?>
Mr. Young thoughtfully sat on the edge of the bed, his head
drooping on his chest. Spectacle it was miserable. Finally he
got up, dressed, shaved, combed and washed, and came down
for breakfast.
Jill Young, his wife, looking through the newspaper, sipping
orange juice. This was petite, pretty and beautiful woman of
middle age, has long refused to from attempts to comprehend the
meaning of life. She decided it was too difficult. Around
Strange things were happening constantly, so much wiser to
stand by and simply contemplate proishodyashee. In result of
this decision wrinkles almost did not spoil her face, right on
the head her husband was adding gray hair.
However, the head of Mr. Yang can
had to say and more. During the night, she has undergone some
changes, but Mr. Young did not know about it. Jill drank juice
with a smile and looked at the advertising outlandish hats.
-Hi, Filth, "Young said.
It was meant not to his wife, and a small Scottish terrier,
who spun under the feet of his master, and fell in the real
madness when he was little patted his shaggy ears. Small
bully shook his head in all directions,
squealing with delight, rubbing the muzzle on
carpet. Charter finally terrier named
Filth Maknesti began banging his head
on the floor, apparently intending to get rid of the remnants
of the brain. Young long ago bored dog kunshtyuki.
He sat down, unfolded a napkin and looked
for breakfast. Then he grunted, and quite
began to eat.
After a while he noticed that
the wife looks at him with a strange
interest, and hastily wiped his mouth with a napkin. However,
Gill Do not look away. Young looked at his shirt. Though she
was not perfectly clean, but he still has not found her pieces
of bacon and eggs. Glancing at his wife, he noticed that she
peering into something over his head, and looked up.
Kenneth, what is it? "Whispered Jill.
Young held his hand through his hair.
-What are you, dear?
-Well ... it ... on your head.
He combed her hair five fingers.
-On the head? What do you mean?
-There's a certain glow, "explained Gill
-What have you done to yourself?
-Nothing special. Men, do you know whether
sometimes bald, "Young said, irritably.
Jill frowned and took a sip of juice.
Her eyes were staring upward. Finally she said:
Kenneth, I would ...
"What?"
The woman pointed to the mirror.
Dissatisfied grunt, Young got up and went
to the mirror. Nothing special, same person
which he had seen for many years. Pride
his reflection he had no grounds, but on the other hand, face no
of those who decided to hesitate. Usual, carefully shaven pink
face. Long association with him led to a sense of Yang, which
is close to pride. However, with a halo, it looked like a new
way, somehow mysteriously, I suppose. Halo hanging over ten
inches in head had a diameter of fifteen inches and most
resembled the shining light ring. Young touched it, but nothing
special feeling. -This is ... halo, "he said finally, and
turned to Jill. That, after a pause said:
-Halos are the saints.
-Do I look like a saint?-Husband surprised
-This is a physical phenomenon. As with the girl, whose bed was
running across the room. You're reading itself. Jill
remembered the story. "She has done so, imperceptibly
shortening muscles. -But I'm not doing anything, "conviction
he said. -True, many Lightbody
arbitrarily.
-Oh, yes. Grebe, for example.
Young received a revelation, not batting
eye and rubbed his hands.
-Thank you my dear. I hope you do not think
that this news will help me.
-Halos are the saints, "repeated stubbornly Jill.
Young again went to the mirror.
-Honey, could you shut up for a second? I was pretty scared,
but what are you talking about, do not add me courage.
Jill burst into tears and ran out of room. You could hear it
in a low voice complains Filth. Young finished his coffee
cooled. He did not was so scared, as asserted. The phenomenon
was strange, but in any case not scared. Perhaps the horn would
have caused fear and confusion, but the aura of ... Mr. Young
read the Sunday supplements, and knew that
all the strange phenomena can be explained scientifically.
Somewhere he heard that the whole mythology is based on
scientifically proven facts That calmed him, but only until
until he was about to leave.
Halo was too broad, and it seemed
that the hat has two fields, the upper
brightly lit.
-Damn it, Young said worriedly
He rummaged through closet, trying to turn all
hats, but none closed the halo.
As such, he could not get into the bus. Then his attention was
attracted by a large object, throw in a corner. Young
pulled it out and examined. It was a long time
lost form a huge felt hat, reminiscent of an army of Chaco.
When a hat was part of a carnival costume. Sam costume
disappeared long ago, but the Chaco somehow survived, to the
delight of terrier, who sometimes slept in it.
At least, this thing will cover
halo. Young gently put a monster on
head and walked over to the mirror. He had the
at a glance. Muttering some religious texts, he discovered
door and stepped out of the house.
Choose the lesser evil, is not easy. For
during a nightmarish journey to the center of the Yang
repeatedly flashed the thought that he was mistaken. He
could not bring himself to break with their heads
this monster and crush, even though its so
and was tempted. Huddled in a corner, he enthusiastically
looked at their own feet, dreaming of sudden death. Behind the
sound of muffled laughter, he kept caught the curious glances,
staring on his head bowed in shame.
Some child literally tore him
heart and started poking around in the open
wound ruthless fingers.
-Mom, loudly whispered baby-faced
What a funny uncle.
Yes, baby, "replied a female voice. -Behave yourself decently.
-And what he had in mind?-Probed
baby.
-I do not know, "replied mother reproachfully after a pause.
-Why him?
Silence.
-Mother ...
Yes, baby?
"He is mad?
Yes, shut up you are!-Evasively answered
mother.
-What is it he is?
It was too much. Young stood up and
proud step on anyone not looking, went through the bus. Rising
on the rear platform he turned away, not to see curious looks
conductor. When the bus pulled up, Young felt that someone put
a hand on his shoulder. He turned, side by side, with
suspicion, looking at him was his mother cheeky baby.
-What do you want?, He asked bitterly.
-This bill, "the woman said," from him
not otvyazheshsya. Would you say
what is in your head?
Beard-Rasputin!-Barked Young. "He left me her legacy.
Without waiting for the next question, he jumped off the bus,
trying to hurry hide in the field.
It was quite difficult, many
passers-by interested in his headdress
fortunately, was close to the office. Breathing heavily, he
broke into the elevator and sending elevator killer view,
demanded: -Nine!
-Excuse me, politely said the elevator operator, y
you have something on your head.
-I know, "said Young. -I did it put on.
It seemed to clarify all doubts
lifters. However, as soon as the passenger came out of the
elevator boy smiled broadly. A few minutes later, having met
the cleaner He asked:
"You know Mr. Yang? This type of ...
Yes, I know him. And what happened to him?
-Drunk as a lord.
"He? You're crazy.
-Exactly, exactly, "assured the elevator. -Bursting
my eyes.
Meanwhile, the Holy Young came to the office of Dr. Frencha, a
physician who for Happily hosted in the same building. Wait
did not have long. Nurse, with horror
glancing at his hat, for a second
disappeared quickly returned and spent
patient in the study.
Dr. French, a tall man with a huge mustache and suave manner,
greeted Yang.
-Please, please, come on. As
you feel? I hope nothing serious. Please remove my hat.
-Wait a minute, "objected to Yang, pulling away from the
doctor. -First I want something explain. I have on my head ...
-Cut, scar or crack?, Asked the doctor. -I bandage you in an
instant. "I'm not sick," protested Young. Po
At least I hope so. I have ...
uh ... halo.
Ha-ha, "chuckled politely Dr. French.
-Halo? Are you so holy?
-Damn! Young-barked and pulled his hat.
The doctor recoiled, and then, intrigued by
tried to touch the halo fingers, but
nothing happened.
-Frankly, it's amazing, "he said
Finally. Indeed, like a halo.
"But what is it?
Coat hesitated, nervously pulling at their heads.
-Perhaps it is not my specialty. May appeal to physics? Say to
the Mayo? That you have removed?
-No! Its not even touch.
-Really? .. I need professional advice. In the meantime, if
you please ... He had a normal examination: heart,
temperature, blood, saliva, skin. Finally, French said:
-Are you healthy as a bear. Come tomorrow at ten, I will
invite a couple of specialists for consultation. A ... you can
somehow remove it from the me?
Better yet, do not try. This may
be radioactive. You may need to radium treatment ...
Young went out, muttering to himself on the alpha and beta
rays. Reluctantly pulled his hat, he went downstairs to the
office. Advertising Agency was the most
conservative of all. Founded it in
In 1820 the two brothers with gray whiskers, and seemed, to
this day the shadow of these whiskers hanging over him. All
novelties met with disapproval of the Board,
which only in 1938 recognized the existence of radio and signed
contracts radio advertising. And once young vitsepredsedatelya
fired for ... wearing a red tie. Young cautiously crept into
his office. No one. Crashing into a chair, he took off his hat
and with a nervous laugh reviewed it. She looked even nastier
than in the morning. Hat something like a barn, and, worst of
all, smell, not very much, but certainly
dog.
Yang studied the halo, he decided that he holds firmly, and
set to work. In this moment the door opened, and on the verge
of singing curled Edwin Dzh.Kipp, director of the agency
. Young barely had time to poke my head under the table.
Kipp was a short, elegant man with grace and restraint
worn eyeglasses and a beard, a la Van Dyke.
His blood has long since become
in the ice, he personified the surly conservatism.
"Good day," he greeted. -E ... you
here, Mr. Young?
"Yes," assured the invisible Young. -Good
day. Sorry, I loosened the laces on the shoes.
The answer of Mr. Kipp delivered attack
cough. Under the table were silent.
-Hmm ... Mr. Young?
-Yes, I'm here, "replied the unfortunate saint. "They get
confused ... Laces, I have in mind. You do me wrong?
Yes.
Kipp waited with growing irritation, but no signs of haste was
not noticeably. Director weighed the possibility to look under
the table, but the conversation such a grotesque pose for him
was unacceptable. Giving up, he outlined the essence of Yang
case. -Called Mr. Devlin, "said Kipp. "He
coming soon and wants ... to
showed him the town.
Invisible Young knowingly chuckled. Devlin
was one of the best customer agencies.
More precisely, the former clients, because
Last year, he transferred his affairs of another
firm.
"He said," continued the director, "that
He had doubts about its
new contract. He wanted to charge all
Firm <Wold>, but corresponded with him
this issue, I will persuade him to personal
conversation that can bring us def.
benefit. So, he intends to come to our
city and wants ... whew, wants to explore
him. Kipp confided:
-I note that Mr Devlin quite categorically stated that he
prefers less than conservative agency. More flexible, as it has
identified. In the evening we agreed to have dinner, and I will
try to convince him that our services will be most suitable for
him. But ... Kipp again have a fit of coughing, though,
diplomacy, of course important, I would like you to do today
our guest in a less formal setting. During this monologue
table was silent, but oyknul now choked and refused:
-I can not, I ... I'm sick.
-Does it hurt? Maybe call the doctor?
Young immediately rejected the proposal, still staying in the
shelter. No, I ... I wanted to say ...
-You're a pretty original, said Mr. Kipp with commendable
restraint. "However, there is something
what you should know. I do not want to talk, but ... In
general, the board drew attention to you. We discussed this at
last board meeting. Perhaps We offer you the position of
vice-chairman of the agency. Under the table were numb.
-For the past fifteen years, you lot
done to raise the prestige of our company. -He did, of course,
Kipp. In-your reputation is not a single blemish. I
congratulate you! Director approached with an outstretched
hand. Hand, leaning out from under the table, quickly
answered on a handshake, and lightning
disappeared. Nothing else happened.
Young stubbornly sat in his shelter, and Kipp
realized that if you do not pull him out by force,
chance to see Yang he is not there.
Clearing his throat again, he went out.
Poor Young popped out from under the table, wincing in pain on
as the straightened leg. Gee! How can he deal with Devlin, the
halo? And do not you want to do, goodbye increase! Young, well
knew that the selection of employees advertisement Agency
virtually none. The sudden appearance of an angel in
the book cabinet interrupted his thoughts.
Cabinet was fairly large, so the guest
sat down with the comforts and turning wings
began to swing one's legs. His clothing consisted of kutsego
dress of white brocade and a bright halo in the form which Yang
felt sick.
-All right, "he said confidently. Halo-yet
may be the result of mass hypnosis
but when an angel ...
"Do not be afraid," consoled him an angel, "I insisted. Young
continued to stare at him. -How do I know? Apparently, I'm
talking to air. This is obviously a schizo-something-there. Hit
the fuck ... Angel moved his toes and worried
stared at him.
-While I can not. The fact that I was mistaken
I hope you noticed a halo over his head? Young laughed
nervously. -Oh yeah, time to see!
The door opened before the angel answered. Kipp looked, but
saw that Yang busy growled and closed the door
Angel rubbed his golden curls.
-You know, your halo is needed to give another person ...
Tibetan Lama but due to certain circumstances, I came to the
conclusion that you are a candidate for the saints. So ...
-Angel pointedly took his hand. Young looked at him
dumbfounded. "I'm not quite ...
-This Lama ... have sinned, and none of the sinner has no
right to wear a halo. And I as I said and handed it to you in
error, however. -So you can pick it up?-Young asked hopefully.
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continued in the next issue
