FUN
(C) People
We offer you a collection (not complete) jokes that circulate
among the students of the Ulyanovsk State Technical University,
although perhaps in any other similar educational institution).
Collected places unprintable, but as they say, words can not
erase songs (and someone who is easy?). In general, the most
ardent champions of morality (a pancake, and wherever such
words picked up? Or word??) request this article pro'skip'at.
And then, God forbid, play pranks nervishki begin ...
It is better to have a blue diploma and a red face
than the diploma and the blue face.
If you want to become a soldier, sworn at Dean
mat.
The sun warms, birds are singing on my dick
need your institution.
Breast student Polytechnical less walnut
nut.
Editorial>> Well, if people say, therefore, probably know :-).
Although all want to refute this claim (by example ->) Can
contact us.
And the sun shines brighter and more cheerful landscape, when
the stomach is gushing C2H5OH.
A woman with a cart - the mare in a pose.
Better with a black man in a bath to wash than on the radio
study.
H2O is not our motto - our motto is C2H5OH.
Ed>> As the saying goes, the nail got dude!
Yesterday I bought a hand grenade - the end of the native dean.
Work is not a wolf, and the product of force to move.
Sleep student! camp need healthy specialists.
I'll be smoking!, But drinking will not give up.
Take me to the sea and ebni on the rocks - I
Jam consider integrals.
If I had a horse - it would be a number
If the horse had me - I probably b dead ...
Eye made an incorrect operation, and will be closed.
Even if alcohol freezes
Still it will not give up
I will gnaw his teeth
Because he's good.
You shall love your teacher, because the dog - each
rights.
Not voshrapi because razbudesh neighbor.
If you want to become a fighter - you roll the egg to the
rector.
I love the right beer, vodka here - the right beer.
Give a fool a glass dick, dick, and it will break and cuts his
hand.
Dental fear - in the mouth does not give.
Afraid of wolves - in the forest does not screw around.
Enough delay, it's time to hatch.
Seven times count up once Kinh.
As captivating smells debauchery
In the depths of my fine ideas ...
Seven one kid.
I am a simple sperm
The product is the male body.
And how many of us, these heroes
Fell victim to onanism ...
Abortion - the killing and blowjob - cannibalism, right?
I love her in jest,
On the breast nipple twisting,
Then it howl like a beast,
Then cry like a child ...
Tore a bear paw
What would girls do not paw.
Because the bear is very
Oversexed.
We decided to help those people who
plan to go with cake on PyTs and
facilitate their familiarity with the new
platformoy.Nizhe brief
user dictionary, which collects
basic terms necessary for each
PyTsa user, as well as a brief
interpretation.
PROCESSOR - a square thing with a propeller. Flight
characteristics are specified.
INTEL - Works in Ireland proivodstvu
propellers and engines.
SAMSUNG - the world's first personal computer. Name appeared
when Bill Gates had called in the hearts of Steve Jobs Sung.
MICROSOFT - something very big, just
huge, and horrible hard. There is speculation that this is
television.
Operating System - the computer as we know, was invented to a
him something to write. Here's what to
it is written, and called OS
NETSCAPE - one of the so-called. navigators. More
have Norton Navigator and Disk Navigator.
NAVIGATOR - a device for setting the general
course.
General - where we are all going.
Where are we going? - Now well established that we are moving
forward.
A WHO WE SEND IN THERE? - Gates, in his book "A
Road Ahead "
E-mail - the latest invention
nuclear physicists. Scientists in Russia and America
managed to get the electrons carry
e-mail.
LOTUS - one who prepares the cc: Mail 7.0
CC: MAIL 7.0 - that prepares the Lotus. When
prepare - know if he will not forget
tell us.
INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY - as we know,
people are able to transmit information. But you can pass it in
different ways. You can send information to a whisper, shout,
muttering, wheezing, puffing, nonhuman look idiotic gestures,
etc. This just that as we pass, and called Ivan T.
CYRIX - square like a processor, only
a little more.
CORBA - the distorted name of a popular
movie with S. Stallone.
WWW - a unique phenomenon in the insect world. Spiders, to lure
a fly into a network, draw pretty pictures and write texts HTML.
HTML - it's when someone wants to allocate
line of text, he wrote about her <H1 and
H1, and then includes a navigator, discovers in it the text,
watch and rejoice.
Floppy disks - it's such a square, very similar to the
processor, but without propeller.
VIRUS - freeware, which, however, nothing does.
Therefore, free of charge.
PC - this is such a terrible
black hole, which could easily swallow a man. At first it fail
money, then - a time and then - the owner of the money and time.
MANICURE - a device that represents the
cathode-ray tube in a plastic
housing and serves to display the video signal coming from the
video card computer.
INFORMATION - better name - "useless information". Sequence of
bits batches of eight pieces.
HARD DRIVE - unreliable electronic device. Very quickly clog
unnecessary Information owing to its unique ability to draw as
the judges. Shoe JD is much more laborious and time-consuming
process than writing it out unnecessary information.
MONITOR - a word borrowed from French. Means a very small purse.
System unit - an operation which precedes the systemic impact.
User as known, it beats the first, and why all modern operating
systems have been developed using the technology of "block - a
blow," allows to give the date.
Handbag - from the English. ready cool - ready
cool. Does not mean anything to the computers and has nothing
to do.
PSYCH - file on web-server combo
mentally ill users who connect to this server.
Anti-virus - a program that displays the
a list of all available files on one line and very quickly, so
you do not have time to read.
DATA BASE - base on which the autumn drive students and
professors to harvest data.
JAVA - one of the few drinks that
allowed programmers to use in the workplace, as opposed to
beer, which they use instead.
JAVA - Moscow cigarettes, produced by
license Sun Microsystems.
WINDOWS - we, however, do not see, but
According to a friend fidoshnika it kakayato terrible thing, is
somehow related to computers. Probably something like boiled
onions.
FEE - 1) money with which we
leave, 2) a small rectangle,
who is stuck inside the machine, after
which the latter will not work.
1-2-3 - program-calculator, which allows you to count to three,
and then get home by taxi.
OS / 2 - Gerstner law, under which
Each operating system takes on
drive one half of the volume of the next version of the same
system.
MMX - special extensions of the processor.
Processor with MMX, usually 2-3 mm
than usual.
Business users - sorry, zatyukannoe creature who has no right
choose their own computer and software for
him.
Modem - modulator-demodulator. Quite
a remarkable device that can take
any number of the module, and then recover its original value.
TIP - a little trick-tip. This ochenochen little trick. Such
as, for example, tell her grandmother that had eaten one
serving of ice cream, when in fact ate sixty-four.
COMPATIBLE - nesovestimy. C. means a complete incompatibility
of one device or program to another or the whole class
other devices (programs). For example, if you see on the box
label "Microsoft Windows 95 compatible", you know,
that what is in that box in any case can not be placed next to
the box, painted a cloudy sky, which stands at you are in the
closet.
DNS - the system that provides names. As we know from the
history of mankind, many People have long been accepted to give
a newborn the names for easier access to him. The system, which
used people was imperfect. Newborn named
usually like his grandfather. Thus, if the grandfather did not
die at birth grandson, and dangerous duplication.
In addition, the system did not involve the appointment of
passwords. Life expectancy have since risen, and mankind was
forced to invent a new system. Now all much easier. Every
person has a name, suffix, and a password. And all this thanks
DNS (Davaj Name Skoree).
Optical fiber - fiber that is sold
wholesale. A special kind of fiber that are beneficial to sell
wholesale than retail. Then ie, fiber that quickly snap up
wholesale. And that mess, sell at retail - it's long and
tedious
Here ivse on segodnya.Esli you have
wish to add to our glossary, you can
write redaktsiyu.Adres - Section AUTHORS
Stranger / ASM Corp.
<END OF TEXT>