SoundTrack: "PALPITATION" DX-69/CRG F.T.98
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0A programmers
0A programmers began to work,
One asked, "And the money where?" And there were 9.
9 young programmers boss
One of them did not know FoxPro, and there were 8.
8 programmers bought IBM,
One said, "Mac rulez!", And there were 7.
7 programmers would help to read,
But one was the screw, and there were 6.
6 young programmers were to understand
One of them crazy, and there were 5.
5 programmers bought a CD-ROM,
One brought a Chinese ROM - four of them remained.
4 programmers working in C,
One of them, Pascal, and there were 3.
3 young programmers played DOOM,
One barely hesitated, and then there were two.
2 programmers gathered in unison: "win"
One got - there was 1.
A programmer was under their control,
But met with the customer, and there were 0.
0 scolded programmers angry shef,
Then he fired one, and it became their FF.
After writing this, I thought that this story could happen
on the other side of the ocean:
0A programmers
0A young programmers began to work online,
One didn't pay for Internet, and then there were 9.
9 young programmers used copies that they made,
But one was caught by FBI, and then there were 8.
8 young programmers discussed about heaven,
One said "It's Windows 95!", And then there were 7.
7 young programmers found bugs they want to fix,
But one was fixed by the bug, and then there were 6.
6 young programmers were testing the hard drive,
One got the string "Format complete", and then there were 5.
5 young programmers were running the FrontDoor,
The BBS of one was hacked, and then there were 4.
Four young programmers worked using only C,
One said some good about Pascal, and then there were 3.
Three young programmers didn't know what to do,
One tried to call the on-line help, and then there were 2.
Two young programmers were testing what they done,
One got a virus in his brain, and then there was 1.
A young programmer was mighty as a hero,
But tried to speak with user, and then there were 0.
Boss cried: "Oh, where is the program we must have?!"
And fired one programmer, and then there were FF.
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Guide for consumers of beer
Possible problems and their solutions
Symptoms: The act of making beer is not brought
an adequate response, and you do not feel the taste of beer.
Shirt front is wet.
Error: While drinking my mouth was not open or glass was
presented not to the mouth.
Solution: Buy another beer and
work out the mirror. Continue
up until not developed the technique
drinking.
Symptoms: The act of making beer is not brought
adequate response and you do not feel the taste of beer. Beer
unusually clean and bright.
Fault: Glass empty.
Solution: Find someone nt,
who will buy you another beer.
Symptoms: Rooms rotates.
Error: Kto some twists your chair.
Solution: throw up on someone who
it does.
Symptoms: Feet cold and wet.
Error: You hold the glass at the wrong angle.
Solution: Turn glass so that
that its open end pointed at the ceiling.
Symptoms: Feet warm and wet.
Error: loss of control.
Solution: Go and stand
near the nearest dog. After that, complain to its owner that it
is you managed it.
Symptoms: Koleni cold and wet.
Error: You puked nA itself.
Solution: Select a position to puke on someone else nt.
Symptoms: The Bar has acquired blur.
Error: you look through the bottom of your
empty glass.
Solution: Find someone nt who
will buy you another beer.
Symptoms: Bar moving.
Error: you endure.
Solution: Find out whether you are
to another bar. If not - shouting that you
trying to steal.
Symptoms: Bar looks like a circus.
Error: You are in the circus.
Solution: Go into the bar.
Symptoms: The opposite wall looks
as the ceiling.
Error: You have fallen on his back.
Solution: If the glass was
complete and no one is on the hand that you are drinking - keep
lying. Otherwise, ask someone to lift nt you and hold the bar.
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