Lime Tree #11 28 января 1996

Самиздат

Lit.Stranichka - The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (Chapter 5).

 Chapter Five, which have Eeyore was a big buhnya, and Piglet

              first time I tried Gimlet.



       Eeyore - spivshiysya old donkey - once stood over the 
bucket, which once was Gimlet (his favorite drink) trying to 
see reflected on the bottom. 

       - Dusherazlivayuschee spectacle - he finally said .- 
Here's how it's called - dusherazlivayuschee spectacle.


       He turned and slowly began to crawl bucket, trying to
as much as not to catch his leg. Opposite the spot where he 
stood First, Eeyore stopped and looked back into the bucket.


       - I thought so - he sighed .- From this side did not
stronger. But nobody cares. Dusherazlivayuschee show - here's 
how it called!


       Then back in olshannike heard a crash, and appeared 
VinniPuh with an empty bottle of vodka in his hand. 

       - Hi, ass! - Pooh snapped, hurling bottles into the 
bushes olshannika. - How's tricks? 

       - Hi, Pooh Bear - sadly said Eeyore. - Bad.

       - Why? What happened?

       - Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing osobennogo.Vse same can 
not be. And some do not have to. Then it can not be helped. 

       - What all can not? - Asked Pooh, trying to at least 
chtoto understand. 

       - Thump. Drink, dance and be merry. In a wheat field.

       - Ah, of course ... - Said Pooh. For a moment thought he 
asked: 

       - Why is the wheat?

       - A vodka from doing what? - Asked Eeyore. - From 
pshenitsy.Hlebnuyu. Sorokogra ... 

       Eeyore did not finish. With some difficulty raising his 
right leg, he wiped away a tear. 

       Pooh sat down on a large rock and tried to understand 
something. But the sawdust filled with alcohol, poorly served. 
Then Pooh decided to compose a song. That's what happened:



                   About forty degrees.


            - Tell me, please -

            Said fixer growth -

            - What is better - Forty Degrees

            Or One Hundred Percent?

            And ruled:

            Great pleasure

            Thump and then and then!


       - Yes, yes that's right, - said Eeyore .- tease the old 
donkey. The forest was found bytylochka, she grew up in the 
woods. And a lot of joy brought the kids ... 

       - What's wrong with you today? Brains whacko? - Asked 
Pooh. 

       - Did something happen? - Said Eeyore.

       - No, but you have such a buhoy form.

       - Buhoy? Why should I be buhim if my only
birthday I do not have a single drop of alcohol?

       - Your birthday? - Said Pooh, terribly surprised. A
did last month ...

       - Yes, Pooh, yes, my birthday. The happiest day
year.

       - Then the solvability congratulate you ...

       - Do not try, Pooh Bear, you should not - said
Ua sad voice.

       - Wait a minute, but as this is not alcohol? We gave you 
last month at ... just sorokalitrovy cans - remembered Pooh. - 
We are then only two liters of drinking. 

       - A.. is ... in general, cans, cracked, - tried to 
explain Eeyore. 

       - Hmm? - Said Pooh tone of the investigator. - And do 
not drink if you randomly all the thirty-eight liters?


       - What do Pooh, come to me because often guests come ... 
Thirty six.


       - And, of course - said Pooh. - Maybe a couple of cans 
to bring? 

       - Bad enough - said Eeyore, almost in tears - no more 
and the fact that you have a secretary. How does ten bottles 
... 

       This Pooh has not already made - he has long wanted to 
walk like a month ago. 

       - Wait a minute here! - He shouted, and with all haste 
drove home. He felt that he must bring at least five bottles, 
and then they will always have time to send for the rest of 
Piglet. 

       Near his home, he stumbled on Piglet, who was sitting
on the porch and smoked a strong cigar, presented to Pooh.

       - Hi, Piglet - said Pooh. - What are you doing here?

       - Hello, Pooh! Smoke, as you see.

       - And the parents know? - Pooh asked suspiciously.

       - Of course not. I did it and have never seen ...

       - Okay, let's help - said Pooh, holding out his paw.
Piglet reached into his pocket to get a cigarette case and 
lighter. 

       Smoke, they entered the house.

       - You know, today Eeyore such Bunea be! He now
birthday. And I'll give him that's it - said Pooh, discovering
secretary and taking one by one, five bottles of vodka.

       - Is it possible, I'll give them too - asked Piglet. - 
As if on both of us. 

       - It's time to know Piglet - five to two is not 
divisible - said Pooh. - Give something else. 

       - But I have nothing. Champagne is something our ass 
does not drink. 

       - Well, I do not know, think himself something, - said 
Pooh. 

       - Then I'll give him a packet of condoms - said Piglet. 
- I was left alone. 

       - You're a very good idea, Piglet. After all, we need to 
Eeyore cheer. And with them then ... - Pooh smiled. Himself he 
would never This was not engaged, but the stories of 
Christopher Robin came out this very interesting and enjoyable. 

       - In short, I went - said Pooh, gently taking the bottle.
- Meet me Eeyore.

       So fun to go, Pooh uncorked a bottle. Day
was hot and the sun Pooh strongly razvezlo. Singing at all
throat obscene limericks, and kept dropping the bottle, Pooh 
went to the Council. 

       - Oh, what kind of people - happy owl. - Beer you want?

       - Thanks, not must. Better say, poorly in those bottles 
to change the labels on "Rasputin Vodka" at least? 

       - I - weak? - Indignant Owl. - Yes again blyunut .- 
Bring them here. 

       Pooh gave.

       - Russian - said Owl, sniffing. Of vodka. And you
this is why?

       - Yes in this Eeyore-the-day birthday again, so we 
re-eshili noted. Yes, it is not convenient as a "Russian". Come 
on, do your case - ordered Pooh, looking up at the bar in the 
corner. 

       Owl coped with its task. Now on all bottles
Sub-migival Grigori Rasputin (from Germany). Pooh went on.

       Meanwhile, Piglet, and open the packet and to verify the 
inflated air, each with dismay saw that all condoms

defective. But most of Piglet's nothing and he sadly went off 
to Eeyore. 

       It so happened that he came first - the Pooh at the time 
was a Owls. Going to the bucket, next to which stood Eeyore, 
Piglet said: 

       - Happy Birthday, Eeyore.

       - How do you say? - Did not understand Eeyore. - Happy 
birthday? Me? 

       - Yes. Congratulations. This is a gift. Condoms 
"Innoteks. 

       - Condoms? It is that at the end of wear? Fill
water and throw at passers-by?

       - Yes, but ... in a word, Eeyore, they Leaky!

       - Full of holes? My condoms? And what color they were?

       - Red.

       - Ingenious. Directly under the color ... And what size?

       - Six to fourteen. With the tip.

       - Just think, the best my size. And with a tip ...

       Then out of the bushes appeared Winnie the Pooh with 
five bottles of vodka. 

       - Eeyore, I brought you a present! - He shouted from 
afar. 

       - Thank you, Pooh, I no longer need - said Eeyore, trying
condom.

       - Right now buhnem as follows - hopefully said Puh.-What
have you got?

       - End ... Oh, this? My gift. Enters and leaves.

       - Stop with this, bring glasses - said Pooh, and turned
to Piglet:

       - Better to be fetched to me, there are five more.

       - And what did you not tell me at once? - Reasonably 
said Piglet. 

       - Well, do not guess - said Pooh.

       Eeyore, noticing an empty bottle (which Pooh drank on 
the way), very excited. 

       - You know, because my end will not enter into the 
bottle! 

       - What are you saying, Eeyore. Not the end of Suva in a 
bubble. Come on best drink for your birthday!


       - Well, the little - said Eeyore, taking a drink.

       - What is it we Piglet sitting sober? - Eeyore said 
after the sixth glass. - Pooh, pour it ... 

       - I do not, do not, thank you. Yes, do not need Pooh. I 
do not like. 

       - You're Th, want to offend me? - Eeyore offended. - 
Right now here Buravchi-and-a pudding! - NA rose, staggered and 
went somewhere bushes. Soon he returned with a half-gallon jar 
filled with murky liquid. 

       - Never mind that the Ha-ha-lodny, now let's drink! - 
Ordered Eeyore. - Pooh, holding his legs!


       Piglet tried to jump, but Pooh had time to grab him by 
the disgusting smelling kopyto.Ia-Eeyore gloomily walked slowly 
to Piglet, holding in his mouth jar with a gimlet. 

       - Pei, and not in the face as the ladies! - He 
threatened. 

       Piglet, on balance this fact, decided not to oppose
fate and took a sip from the can. Hundred degrees slowly spread 
over the virgin pig stomach. Immediately he Vdarilo in the head 
and was fun.


       - And the all-but-bsche, then it is not so bad - said 
Piglet. 

       Eeyore did not answer. He then put on a condom, then 
shot him and it was evident that he was quite happy!


Nomy Graphics Limited 1996 Stever 1996 01/04/1996.



Number prepared for issue and edited LORD WINTER.

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C.C. 1996 LIMESOFT PRODUCTION 29.01.1996 WINSOFT 'SM-STUDIO