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-=By Bogie of Extacy-3=-
Hello boys and girls, welcome to Read-A-Long Poetry Corner!!! In
this article I shall write some of my favorite and funniest
poems and limericks that I know! First of all I shall start
with a very thoughtful one.....
In days of old, and years gone by
When women weren't invented
Men drilled holes in telegraph poles
And stood there quite contented.
(I still know people who do that!!!!)
I knew a young man from Kentucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wipped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt i could fuck it.
(Thats me that is!!!)
The story of my life!
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I chatted up this girl last night
She never said a word
I repeated all my questions
Incase she hadn't heard
I thought she might be foreign
Or deaf, or drunk, or loaded.
Until I lit a match too close
And the silly bitch exploded!
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the fireplace
And told them not to Fuck
Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10,000 Volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon.
Little Willie in the best of sashes
Played with the fire and was burnt to ashes
Now although the room grows chilly
We haven't the heart to poke poor Willie.
Here lies my wife
Here let her lie
Now she's at peace
And so am I.
The bomb he set went off too soon
And here his story ceases
The bits they found are buried here
And so he rests in pieces.
Rugby
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When I first played I nearly died
The bitter memory still rankles
They formed a scrum with me inside
Some kick my balls and some my ankles
I did not like the game at all
Yet after the harm they'd done me
Whenever I came near the ball
They knocked me down and stood upon me.
Teacher heard her class all scream
So she pushed them all in a stream
Shouting as she plunged the third
"Children should be seen ... not heard"
Poem for Keeners!
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On the next page!!!
It's friday night
I'm full of sorrow
Because there'll be
No school tomorrow.
It's Monday morn
Away with pain
Because I'm going
To school again.
The tutor who taught us the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor
'is it harder to toot or
To tutor two tooters to toot?
(Try saying that after 15 pints!!!!)
I'm sorry but thats all for now!!!!!!
End.
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