Acid Paper #02

Самиздат

"Laocoon" Weller - Michael Weller "Laocoon" (part 2).

Michael Weller "Laocoon" (continued)
 But apparently, the art teacher was a rare patriot of the 
city, and Maybe he was an illegitimate child, Paolo Trubetskoy, 
which he once was someone's illegitimate son. But once he got 
through to the Ministry of Culture and was ruined: art! immortal

Phidias! ..
 From the Ministry of cold corrected:
 - You are mistaken. Phidias has nothing to do with it.
 - Oh, do with it? Greece! story! ..
 - This is - strictly speaking - Polydor and Afinodor. 
Sculptors with Rhodes. You will forgive me, for some specialty 
teacher?  And in this profession, that the case could fall into 
the trap newspapers as an example of vandalism, and idiocy. 
There are already oshivayutsya foreign correspondents with 
cameras, rocks and for heads were taken.

 - And now for this signal thanks, - silent, grateful of the
Ministry. - Where were your director? Call-ka it
to the tube!
 And this tube yanked from the director's ear, like a grenade -
striking expansion of the debris two hundred meters. Director 
jumped drew himself to attention and stared out the window. 
Hiccups.  The next day, the director dismissed the teacher of 
drawing.  And in a week came all the same polugruzovichok, and 
from him as family doctors, as old friends, came two

gay guys with their white teeth compartment. Once their
caught sight of - the school had cast the devil class, and 
teachers in front of students ran to see what will happen now 
with the they can say their relatives with disabilities.

 The guys took pliers and a painful sigh of the audience,
frustrated the hell out of the petals. Then he got out of the 
box missing fragment and try to Laocoon.

 The crowd groaned. And they, therefore, supports a careful,
while the second steep - screwed. People rests on the pavement 
and Lawns - crying and screamed:

 - Shook him, my dear, twisted!
 - Yes, scratched, will be scratched! Yes, is not there, below 
will be scratched!  - Kiss, kiss Oh, godmother, my dear!

 - Bite it, bite!
 - You stepped aside, but now falls upon!
 Well full impropriety. This sotsavangardny seksheppening.
 Wizards screwed on bronze, therefore, all three pins
pre-carved marble object, and moved in some
doubt. And here's a crowd polls collapsed on each other, and
speechless lost completely - impossible to breathe, the air is 
not score - and rumbled with podvizgami and squelch.

 Because after all, ancient statues, some organs, like
it is right to speak, in the general size of the symbolic.
Scientists do not know exactly why, but, in general, such 
aesthetics. Perhaps because the athletes in competition all the 
blood rushes to the muscles, and other places are reduced. Can 
to when you look at the statue of admiration arose with the 
power and beauty of the muscles, rather than any other erotic

Association. But, anyway, modest look in the erotic
on ancient statues.
 At the same again screwed the place proportionally
corresponded roughly monumental sculpture "Perekuem
Swords into Plowshares. "And more than swords, rather than 
screaming. So on sight of two life-size. And with good nature.

 This dramatically changed the compositional motivation. It 
immediately became understand why they want to strangle a 
snake. Eyewitnesses have their sins of the community.

 The general opinion expressed old-granny:
 - Ekie bludodei! - Mumbled it with pleasure and
crossed. - Ohalniki! ..
 - Kids! children, turn away! - Crying a history teacher. -
Comrades - shame on you!
 Now a group of sculptures was himself a hymn fertility and
male power of the ancient Greeks. True, the figure could not be
called harmonious, but the proportions are so instilled respect
and envy, that the crowd was asked:
 - Guys, you are no longer there in the drawer ... copies?
Can even be a little smaller. Liter put right.
- This is a prototype, or already established mass production?
- Guys - be honest: my wife's birthday, show me and
Help - I want to please.
 Dreamy scornful silence violated a woman's voice:
 - Now You understand sekilyavka I mean?
 And next week is the whole town went to the Petrograd
watch blossomed and matured in the fraternal family of Soviet
peoples of the ancient Greeks.
 - Now I understand why they were so famous for - decided
people. - Of course!
 - And why do they only are extinct?
 - A woman did not stand theirs.
 - We were not there!
 - A pity! ..
 - To live so live so glad these people ...
 - Lucy! an evening walk past the house do not you dare.
 - Why did the police not to protect exposed?
 - This is someone from whom to protect?
 - Is it a monument to Rasputin? That was not aware that his 
children 

   were ...
 But no joy there is no eternal life. Because later
week, rolled up the same avtomobilchik, and got out of it,
white-toothed grin, those same guys.
 A crowd gathered was already familiar with each other as
patrons of a provincial theater with a subscription to the 
entire season.

 The boys took up long-suffering place, shouted,
strain, and began to unscrew.
 - And every day is not Sunday - agreed in the crowd.
 - All the best bosses take away ...
 Undoing, was pulled from the master of his magic box the other
set of organs and was attached them in the proper format. New
the exhibits were already in the accuracy of such size as 
before.  The crowd looked up and dispersed.

 Now everything was in order. The horse was returned to the 
primitive state.

 ... But the marbles a hundred years, especially in the rain 
and the Leningrad soot, has a tendency to darken. And the 
statues were yellowish-gray.

 New as marble, svezheobrabotanny had a beautiful
primordial color - pinkish-white, clearly stands out
Otherwise the background. And restored fragments in sharp 
contrast and primagnichivali eyes. And schoolgirls, even middle 
and junior age, showed modest interest: why is it here

here ... not the same as everything else ...
 Older friends and the boys offered their own explanations.
Translated into the language of censorship sopromata, they came 
down to the fact that surfaces in sliding wear out. Assured and 
offered check the experimental method for further

comparison.
 But accused of debauchery and statues on it's not left
alone. It is hard to really say exactly who the witnesses
abuse and where to call, but again came
moskvichok with guys who did not come out from there, and fell,
laughing and dropping his box.
 They were welcomed like old friends and neighbors: what else
You can think of? .. A master got a gray powder
something he had kindled, stir, and the gray gruel zamazil
shamelessly whitening place. And on top carefully zapolirovali
rags.
 Topics like this and ended the epic, closing the circle.
 But the humiliated and insulted the director did not give up 
the intention to to succeed. And a couple of months sculpture 
quietly loaded by crane on the car and drove away. A set of

in the courtyard of the Russian museum, among other repressed
monuments of the royal capital, and just next to another statue
Paolo Trubetskoy - equestrian image of Alexander the Third.
Togo removed in the eighteenth year of Znamenskaya Square,
renaming it into the area of ​​the Rebellion. No luck Paolo 
Trubetskoy in Leningrad.

 Where then fused the statue - is unknown, and after
years in the Russian Museum is also no one knows ...
 But the story remains. And as in Odessa and now stands 
peacefully exactly the same composition, author's copy of the 
same, Paolo Trubetskoy, commissioned by the mayor of Odessa,

who enjoyed this work at the Imperial
St. Petersburg, and he wanted to decorate the city with such a 
well - about their city jealous and patriotic people from 
Odessa too then told the story. While with them, that's just a 
sculpture nothing ever happened, in what one can personally

sure, coming closer and examining the relevant places.
 One day a friend-Odessa told this story a rest
there beautiful Leningrad comedian Semen Alto. And Senya
wrote about this story. Laocoon, he remade in Hercules
sons and snakes removed altogether, replaced the school to the 
cemetery, and skillfully focused on the intrigue of the 
genital, so expression, metamorphosis. But still the story has 
turned out wonderful, very funny, and the audience always 
listened to him with enthusiasm.