Acid Paper #02

Самиздат

"Laocoon" Weller - Michael Weller "Laocoon" (Part 1).

Michael Weller "Laocoon"

 On the Petrograd side, between the streets of the Red Cadets 
and Red Cavalry, there is a small area. Rather, Square.

Range of trees and benches - probably Square.
 And at the center of the square stood a sculpture. Laocoon and 
his two sons, choking snakes. In the life-size, ie

shapes of human growth. The ancient masterpiece of the immortal
Phidias - marble copy of the famous St. Petersburg
sculptor Paolo Trubetskoy.
 And next to the gardens was a school. High School N_97. It
learning students.
 Nothing special about this can not be seen. And schools and 
parks, and statues in Leningrad at least a dime a dozen.

 Once the school appointed a new director. Directors in
Leningrad, too, at least a dime a dozen. Big city.
 The new director, a retired political officer and a serious 
man with a Party and teacher education, teacher collected

team and made a speech on the occasion of assuming office.
Reported data of his biography, pointed to shortcomings in the 
external the form of personnel - the skirt is not long enough, 
the hair sufficiently short, the pants are wide enough, and 
smoking in teaching can not be; compendium of lessons for the 
ordered week to submit to it for approval. That said, comrades

teachers, not school, but, sorry mess! But nothing, not all
lost - you're in luck: Now I will bring your order.
 - And it - asked - what is it? - And points out the window.
 This, say the area. Rather, Square. Why?
 No - but is it? In the center?
 And that, gladly explain to him, and sculpture. Laocoon and 
his two sons, choking snakes. Greek mythology. Zeus

didst send two sea serpents. Sculpted the great Phidias. Marble 
copy famous sculptor Paolo Trubetskoy.

 - That's it - the director - that sculpted ... Troubetzkoy! You
that - not aware of?
 What? ..
 - And in fact, I'm sorry that this - school-la! Joint though.
Here and girls learn. The girls, unfortunately. Incidentally,
together with the boys. Adolescents. Unfortunately. In the 
period ... mature ... you understand me. And what can they co-

to learn in front of such a statue? That they constantly see on 
the This, I may say, a sculpture?

 And what do they see? ..
 Are you - are idiots, or pretend? - Inquiring officer.
In the army I would have told you what they see! Front of the 
school are naked men ... all the details! here is that - 
physical examination? Bath? and the girls, then at recess 
playing around this outrageous! Recruited, so ... mind-mind!

 Then again, art teacher explains: This ancient Greek
statue of Laocoon and his two sons, strangling snakes;
marble copy of the famous sculptor Paolo Trubetskoy.
Work of art. Has a positive aesthetic
impact. Masterpiece, we can say the art world.
 - A masterpiece! - Says the director. - But tell me, you're 
very educated - it's over there with them! Over there, over 
there! Oh, there! Snakes ... No, not snakes. Snakes nothing to 
do with! Yes, you perfectly understand what I mean, the man 
himself!  Draftsman asks for scientific support to the teacher

history. And the director of her:
 - You first pick up the neck! .. or you, too, this
Troubetzkoy has sculpted?
 Excuse me, shrug their shoulders have all teachers in the 
style of the ensemble Dance Mosaic, this ancient Greek statue 
of Laocoon ...  We're not in ancient Greece, the director 
yells, pissed these intellectuals idiocy. Or you do not know 
which country do you live? Time mixed up? Or this morning on

the radio announced the construction of the slave system?
Interestingly, and something about the moral code of the builder
Communism did you hear? and his disciples, saying? And in your
responsibility to educate them how? - It is here in this
spirit! And you tell them - every day bustle under his nose? 
Maybe you have learned to walk naked on the come up?

 Teachers are still trying to blather: they say, it is 
generally the ancient Greeks was the tradition such - the cult 
of the body, doing gymnastics naked ... So, the director says. 
That is agreed, Finally. Gymnastics, then - naked? And the 
arithmetic? And physical education teacher: What do you say 
about gymnastics? This that - right? Fizruk says - for pity's 
sake ... on our Physical education all in shorts ... T-shirts. 
- That's it! Not yet all, therefore, must be mad. You heard 
what I said reasonable man?

 In short - Building Superintendent: clean this mess. We are on 
its debt designed to prevent any corruption and prevent! and we 
children to debauch push! Today, she sees it this your ...

Laocoon, and tomorrow she wants? and how will it end?
 Steward says: Sorry, it's run by the city ... Management
Culture ... likely, and Society for the Protection of monuments 
is involved ... I can not.

 Oh, can not you? And what are you can - I pionerok rastlyat
male ... bodies? Komsomol! And make no mistake - I
these kites, you see, with eggs, city council shall find! before
establishment of children's education! ..
 The director is starting to wind Telephone: decide.
A man he energetic, practical, tasks used to put
specifically and to achieve operational performance.
 And so a week, just before a big change,
comes Moskvich-polugruzovichok. Get out of it two
gay guys white teeth, pulls out a box with tools,
and start with a hammer and chisel lead track
a cultural form.
 Terms of people going to and watching this show, as two
gay mason castrated, then dvuhspolovinoytyscheletnih
Greeks. Knock! knock! - Crumbs flying.
 In the crowd some laugh, others cry: barbarians! Vandals!
survived the blockade, and thank you! who ordered?
 Art teacher came running in, trying to cover up her body.
Votes:
 - Phidias! Zeus! Paolo Troubetzkoy! You answer!
 Go away, meet, uncle, yet before you have not got! And how
we would not mistake the noise with his chisel, to whom it
pristavlyat and to bob the hammer.
 Especially boys from high school are happy. Tips feed.
Let them say, libertines, so the nights do not masturbate
doing. Rebya, well if they are only limited to statues,
and if they are just beginning? train, hand stuffed!
Nina, but soon and we are so - you'll cry? but
then it will be too late! Let me turn to the sculptors, while
the toilet to run off, and then afterwards there is nothing 
will. But, they say, y Sidorov of the tenth "B" is also 
necessary to remove surpluses, it is possible to you lead? 
Catch Sidorova!  In short, gay was a change, barely after the 
bell on the lesson of all driven. And outside the windows: a 
knock-knock!  He coped with the main part of the guys took the 
Files and were these places, then cleaned, obliterate all traces

former flush with the torso, so to speak. In the crowd
delighted with the recommendations of the act. Kerosene even 
wipe - insects! For what it's them, birthmarks? And not to be

gang rape, my grandmother. Now more schoolgirls
pregnant will not! Guys, you're already sweating, and put them
best condoms easy, and that's that. Yes ... radical
measures.
 Deprived of the ancient martyrs not need school details
lay down their instruments and departed.
 And all week Petrograd went to admire, to whom do
nothing on the sanitized group.
 But the art teacher turned out to be too stubborn, complained 
to where he could, because in a week again came

polugruzovichok, and from it unloaded the same two gay
white-toothed children. They kerf drill and drilled on each
appropriate place narrow hole.
 Again the crowd gathered, people laughing and gives advice,
exchanges of views. Who believe that hair should be round
portray, who speak of what the statue would do
through this hole and what function it will perform.
Narrowish believe, but it's better than the other way around.
 They say that the first sex-change operations have been made
in the West. Nonsense this propaganda.
 And guys take out three bronze pin and screwed each
statue of pin. Bronze svezheobrabotannaya, shines, and the sun
on a groove playing.
 From the crowd interested in:
 - Carving a leftist, I suppose?
 - But for every artful ... there is a pin with the left-hand 
thread!  - That someone metal! Made of boys men.

 - Vaska, here you have this?
 - Here's what I restoration. Not like before.
 - Guys, a sculptor, author of the project?
 And in other matters that cynical spirit that hardness is 
good, and the length come down, but the diameter is small.

 The guys took from his drawer plaster three petals, and
screwed them on pins. Both father and two sons begin
while the decoration is very decent look - with the leaves.
 The crowd holding his stomach. Well, you blame them, but the 
petals prishpandorili - and where all the other amenities, 
between which he lobe treated? Finally, they say, was returned 
to the poor selected forced virginity.

 If the terms were solid teacher of drawing and stories,
then perhaps the reaction would have been different, more 
aesthetic and intelligent. And so - simple people, they have 
little entertainment: coarse narodishko, all happy. Not against 
them personally, such experiments now question - is happiness!

 And since the city of Leningrad have always loved them and
proud of, then another week the whole side walk to admire the
Miracle Michurinian Botany - as the marble statues of
Paolo Trubetskoy grew fig leaves.